friendly human voices in my head

hello, i hope everybody is doing well....i just need some advice

so i'm not here to complain, especially how well i've been doing for the past 3 years with regards to my recovery... but i'm in need for advice considering my strange circumstances....

so when i was 5 i heard my first voice in arabic, sounded like a demon, scared the $#%^ out of me then came again like an angel and filled me with the light also in Arabic... so wa lah... the onset of a life filled with psychosis...

then when i was 13 became really depressed and had delusions of thought insertion and ocd, social anxiety, psychosis, hallucinations... more or less then 16 years old diagnosed with schziphrenia... then bipolar 1 or 2 can't remember, then schizoaffective, and then after tremendous recovery bipolar hypomania.... so that just the history....

just so there's some clarity to my mental history...

but now the situation and advice i need is

what do i do when the voices in my head just want to talk to me? like a some kind of friend you meet in class...

there's this particular character in my head whom I've been talking to in my head since i was 13, and long story short.... this character persisted with me until now i'm in my mid twenties this year... and just some moments ago i was talking to this character... and we had some relatively decent communication... nothing much just ordinary chit-chat... or sort of

but considering i've put aside all desire to communicate with the voices in my head, because i don't want to entertain and develop any form of delusions.... though i know they are voices in my head... and i couldn't care less about their reality, but this particular character gets hurt if i ignore or say bad things or whatnot....

the thing is i am under no delusion whatsoever and have develop a good knack to not care about the voices in my head... but now i'm confused....because this voice is really friendly, just wants a chit-chat and wants nothing else but a decent form of communicating relationship(go on laugh now...) and i can tell wants to coexist in my perception of reality... but the thing is i couldn't care less about the voices... i just largely ignore them...

so the thing is this voice gets hurt... and has a complexity like any other human being, is that enough to compel me to treat this character like any other human being... or should i just... hell to the voice and forget about it... but one thing to remember this voice has never been evil or abusive in any sense... even when it all started when i was 13 we were just having conversations... or at least some form of communication...

so what should i do?

I guess I have an... I would say 'alter ego' that's sort of what ur explaining. Talk to it. Literally with words out of your mouth. Maybe you can exhaust it with communication and maybe gain insight how to manipulate it. I talk to myself usually when I'm preparing to go to my psychologist, don't let others see you talking to ur self; kind of freaks em out. It's worth a try!

If the voice is not harmful I would comunicate with it, as you are not doing yourself any harm. Some voices can be nice, positive

I have 15 imaginary friends in my head who I comunicate with, 7 or 8 or those on a daily basis and they don't do me any harm, in-fact they often help me fight against the more horrible outside voices.

good luck
sounds like you had a tough time

Jools

thanks a lot for replies, had to give myself time to think...

i think in all honesty its still a little too risky for me to frequently communicate with this character in my head... at times i still get delusions... but in the end always convince myself its not real... just due to exhaustion of having any kind of to and fro thoughts on the matter...

though now that i know its normal... and acceptable... so at least i know if i'm trapped in some kind of dark abyss of a dungeon i have someone to talk to(no offence to anyone)

i was actually caught up in this issue due to the fact that my psychiatrist disapproves of any inclination towards the illness...

ahhh see.... now after i posted the last post... there's all sorts of voices and that voice in particular seems pissed of with my decisions keeps on asking "are you kidding me?" i'm sick of this bullcrp, what the hell am i supposed to do with this circus in my head... form a political party?

the democratics and the republicans
I don't have schizophrénia but it sounds really cool if you have a friend who talks to you and helps you, communicates, makes you laugh, but isn't evil, great, I'm really not a specialist, but if you know he isn't real, why don't you talk with him, I mean, you have controll, you know he isn't real, from the age of 13 he was friendly, so I think its woth to try, make a new friend^^
its an opinion of a non-specialist who knows absolutely nothing about schizophrenia, I've only seen it on movies, like in dexter, I don't know if it can be compared, but I've found it really cool, in fact, those personalities saved his life many times !
your doctor is against communicating with it ?

i actually have a number of voices in my head but this one in particular is very apparent... and complicated like a normal human being, i call them voices but actually they are characters... same distinct disposition since years ago when i started hearing and talking to them... i can feel them... what they're feeling... and sometimes i used to catch them at the wrong time... like they're busy or something... and they get pissed... its a little too complex to be called a voice...

and this particular character has never done me any harm... hmmm... i can't used that word harm... because it isn't really about good or evil... because its just like any other person i would meet in my waking hours in class... or at home... my point is, i would not really classify people as good or evil...

so saying evil is wrong... but definitely this character has never been bad....

the thing with my psychiatrist... is that i used to be very deceptive with him... when i was having a full blown psychotic episode some years ago... i lied to him and he was very convinced of my lies... so i think... he feel betrayed by himself... so he doesn't want me to talk about my psychotic experiences with anyone... not my parents not my siblings and especially not my friends...

so my pdoc's rules are a bit extreme but i follow them... especially without his help i honestly do believe i wouldn't have survived a long time ago... so i'm inclined to trust him and i do....

but obviously i'm an adult so i have to have my own opinions or i'm just a slave to the system and my drugs..

but my pdoc... rather not me entertain anything.... not thoughts.... no talk... no nothing... but i do talk though

just to give an idea of why i'd rather trust him was that... many times i thought i couldn't die so because of that long story short... i was in a coma for 2 days... and that was one of them... so close calls many times.... and now i learn to trust my doc... though i need my own take on things... hence asking for outside advice...

but don't get the wrong idea... its not that i can see them in front of me like a real person... i just hear and can feel whats going through their heads when they decide to talk to me... or when i talk to them

I see, well, the doctor knows very well his job, and I think folowing his advice must be the best thing you could do,
I've thinked about it yesterday, the reason why he doesn't allow you to communicate with them is maybe because when you do, the illiness slowly takes controll, for exemple, now you just hear voices, but when you'll begin to talk with those voices day after day, you'll begin to see faces, and those faces will become persons...
your doctor is a specialist, and he's been with you for a very long period, so he knows what he is doing, maybe you should talk with him about stoping the drugs slowly, and trying to controll your illiness by yourself,
he is the doctor, he saved your life from what I see, so you should stick to what he says,
and you should try to meet new friends, and build more real relationships, you don't need those voices to communicate, theire are millions of voices outside in this world !
and try to read more about schizophrenia, how people are dealing with it, if their are some patients who control it, if their are some people who communicate with the voices and are still controlling it
document yourself, I think the only answer you'll find is in books
and be always on your guard even if the voice is friendly, if it is friendly with you, doesn't mean that he will stay like that, or that he will be friendly with others

you're making a lot of sense actually... right now i'm rebuilding my social life... as it was practically ruined the past decade since i had the symptoms of this disease...

actually since my recovery 3 years ago.. while i had friends... theres still a lot of development to be had... now though my social anxiety is completely gone.... i feel good... and grew a lot of maturity after the recovery... actually right after that... i learned to look at the world with a strange calm collected mood...

just to share some of my experiences... as you seem interested... as i myself... gain a lot by reading about other peoples experiences... for me doing this reading on others with the disease especially psychosis is a lot like therapy... helps me stay grounded....

but in all honesty you got a a good point... i'd rather not go into too much detail... out of fear of embarrassing myself.... but you're right it does develop... but not with vividness, but with the delusions... and ideas.... and that's the real danger for me in my personal experience... if i talk to them too much... i slowly get convinced that they are real... since the interaction and reactions... seems too human and you could say dynamic... i slowly start developing ideas... and as these ideas develop... they in time... long or short... hard to say... drive me to take actions... and these actions based on these delusions are what for me consist of psychotic behavior... and these delusions... start to get more intricate... my interactions with the characters in my head develop in tune with my delusions... with these delusions which to a good extent is like a snowball... i take actions... i talk to myself out loud... i search for them... i drive places... i do things in with these delusions in mind... which is now my reality... so that's when reality becomes false for me... as everything i see and hear is tailored to my delusions...

and its a completely new reality with all my thought process... senses all trapped in the delusion which has turned into a reality....

and then a new world forms and there's all sorts of characters some good some bad... telling me to do things, communicating with me... then i look at people and everything is my delusions and i react with these new circumstances

actually its everybody hope to recover from whatever problems it is they have... no less bipolar or schizophrenia... but thinking with rationality... being off medications isn't always a good thing... nor is it always a bad thing... though there are side effects like sleepiness, and weight gain which i have both conquered... through coffee(however silly that sounds) and dieting.... i'm a semi-vegan... i'm really healthy now i jog... i eat well... my stamina is good my weight is completely normal...

so like i said all in all life is good with me.... i have nothing to complain about.... all i have to do is stick to something that works... meds wise... and i'm good... but if anything happens... then i guess you'll see me writing nonsense in this forum... and whatever happens... hopefully i'll cope...

for me my bad history or the pile of skeletons in my closet are honestly(cheeky) just lessons learned, nothing more but things to build on and learn from...

and right now though... after being sane for almost 3 years... whenever i'm slowly approaching the bridge crossing over to psychosis... i can tell so easily... its so clear that i'm losing my perception of accepted reality... that i even have time to tell my parents... remind myself... or go on forums for some reading to keep myself grounded..

but seriously right now... nobody would ever know i had/have mental problems... when i interact i look like just any nice human being... that's the great part.... recovering and knowing different realities... and being completely normal or at least whats normal to society...

so you're doing well with the meds, great !
but tell me, are these the only effects ? gain of weight and sleepiness ? doesn't it affect your reactions ? what about the sexuality, isn't it affected ?
if not then one thing I can tell, it is a very good treatement ! and you should stick with it
make more sports, join a gym, or buy the p90x program to get ripped in 3 mounths so you'll have more chances with girls
find a passion, music, painting, reading... concentrate on living your life 100% ! this should keep those bastards in your head away from you