this is a vent but also a question.,...Im so tired of the idea that friends and family of a person with a psych illness should practice tough love..,
i know alot of people think you should, but there are others who realize you shouldnt. If its an actual brain illness, the idea of tough love is not appropriate. Tough love was started to deal with things like acting out behavior and other poor behavior choices, like a spouse who chooses to drink or gamble, or a teenager who is defiant and cuts classes at school.
how on earth did the mantra of tough love ever make its way into the realm of psych illness. I have a family member with a heart condition, sometimes it acts up...do i give him ultimatums to get with it, or to stop having heart problems? of course not, and it shouldnt be done for a person with a psychiatric illness either. Its an ILLNESS not a misbehavior.
personally i think in alot or most cases, family members get tired of caring for a mentally ill person and give themselves the excuse of tough love to stop caring for the person. "Oh, he just needs to learn on his own" "we are not going to help him anymore, he needs to help himself"
i bet alot of homeless people, or others struggling with lack of support are mentally ill people who have family that are just living normal lives and didnt want to bother with the mental illness anymore. Im sure theres alot of family that do care, but those that let themselves off the hook because of 'tough love' are really alot of times just looking for a way out of the responsibility it takes to help care for a MI person