I'm in Crisis

I've posted one other time on here, and I am quickly running out of options.
I am newly married, and i have a three year old son. I work in an outbound call center. I am schizophrenic, and am growing greatly delusional. I feel like i can't trust my spouse, and this thought is absurd. My other has done nothing but love me and try to understand what she knows about my disorder...but she doesn't know everything. She has a psych degree, and i was a psych major before dropping out due to this illness, ironically. To repeat all my doctors, i am extremely high functioning, and am apparently such a miracle case (to have survived in such a state for years without medicine) that many think i was misdiagnosed. I'm confident that my symptoms are congruent with schizophrenia...as much as it hurts.
The worst part is the thoughts of murder. It's all day long. Whether in the front or back of my mind, I am always considering killing (in creative and sadistic ways) other women to whom i am attracted.
THIS IS NOT me bragging about how dangerous i can be, as is the modern trend. This is me PLEADING, begging for direction, resources, assistance of some kind. Even just one person that can say, "I KNOW what's happening to you." I recently, while in a murderous, spaced out fog at my office, wrote out a hit list with about 15 women on it. My wife showed up on that list three separate times. Half of me wants to kill my own wife, and for that, i am suicidal and very afraid. I have become extremely volatile and on edge. I had a breakdown at my office and ended up having to tell two coworkers what's wrong with me. This soothed me for a very brief moment, then raised my paranoia a good bit.
I am truly afraid of becoming a serial killer, and i can't stress enough how much i know how ridiculous i might sound, but it doesn't change how desperate i am to have this changed. I've been recently put on a regiment of Geodon, Depakote, and Latuda, and all it does is make me sleepy (just the Geodon). My thoughts are not controlled or quelled. My depression is worsening, and I'm always having homicidal and social thoughts. I'm afraid to burn my hit list because it validates my fear of myself (otherwise, i sound like some kid screaming for attention), but I'm afraid to tell my therapist because i could be arrested. I don't want to ever go back to jail.
Some advice? Please?

I've been there. Honestly. I was diagnosed with (severe( schizophrenia at eighteen years old. I'd say"It will pass". Like you I'm highly functional. Like you I lived from eighteen to thirty in severe deppression to. I'm thirty four now. What a fight...huh..brother! I dont think anybody can understand. My impression of life after it all is that we are in a war. Only the rules of war apply to our lives now. You have to face what is in front of you, no matter how terrifying it is, because nobody else will do it for you. Some one once said that "life is an inferno, you can become the inferno , burn up the dredge, and you won't know the difference between yourself and the inferno. LIfe is a fight. Especially for us.

Has anybody ever had recurring dreams of something chasing them, a monster, a wolf, a lion, a dark man. The only thing i regret is i did not face it sooner, and so find my courage and my strength. Next time, stand still, and ask it who , or what it is? It's probably your strength , and your courage. The inferno of life, become the inferno...burn up the dredge.

My meds after a lot of experiment is , seroquel 6oo mg, celexa 4o mg, risperadol 2 mg, and klonopin 1 mg keeps me sharp..

Good luck to you friend. I have had all different sorts of bad thoughts and delusions, I would suggest that just because we think something dose not necessarily mean we actually agree with the passing thought.

Don't be afraid to go to the emergency room if you feel that you in dire need to hurt you or someone else. You need to get to the root of this situation quickly as having thoughts of harming another is not a good thing.

Life may seem horrible but at least we have some sort of existence, if that isn't very much well then tell me what is.

Thank you all for your suggestions and kind words. I'm afraid of going to an authority of any kind for fear of jail, but if you've been there and you think it will help, then I'll give it a try.

I used to think about killing myself/others alot but it was in rage, just like everybody does. But I did have this recurring thought of wanting to kill my dog, just for the sake of it. And I love my dog and I hate the blood work. But just the idea of doing something, I don't know, it seemed very real to me and it scared me. That was few years ago, luckily I haven't thought of it in a loong time.

Couple days ago I was in a very bad mood, pissed off by something and thought again bout killing someone but got an interfering thought of ''foreign origin'' saying ''it's not your job killing others (it's up to higher force to decide what happens with others)'' and later ''you're wasting a chance you were given by killing self''.