Not schizophrenic, but... *TW*

I'm very intrigued regarding hallucinations and being delirious. I really wish I knew how they were for you. What do they feel like, if you can tell what's real and what's not every time, etc..

If you want to describe your experience with it in detail, I would appreciate it.

Hi.

As someone who has experienced hallucinations since 2011, I can say for the most part, that I am able to tell most of mine aren't real, due to how absurd they are. One of my hallucinations, I went outside to check the mail, and I look on my neighbors front porch, and there is a sheep, just standing there, doing nothing. "baaws" at me, and then I walk inside my house. Let me explain that I live nowhere near farms. Then, whenever I was at work (grocery store), I saw a bunny rabbit come out from around the corner. This isn't in the back of the store, or the front, this is in the dairy section. I was completely psychotic and at rock bottom when this happened, and I thought it was real, so I chased after it. I got really close to it, and then it started running away. Then, all of a sudden, it disappeared out of thin air. Then, one day, I walked out of my room and into my living room, and there was a wolf. It didn't growl at me, it didn't howl, it just stood there. I walked around it and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich, and while I was doing so, it got up on the couch and sat on it. It sat in the middle, while my two dogs sat on the sides of it. I went into my living room to grab my phone so I could take a picture of it, and when I went back out, it was gone. I looked for it, believe me, and it was nowhere to be found.

Those are the only three times I've hallucinated and they were animals. I've seen other things, such as hands and feet coming through the wall, silhouettes of people running at me, demons, angels, all sorts of things.

I don't think I'm schizophrenic either, but I've hallucinated twice.
- The first time was at night. I woke up and heard some rustle coming from the side of my pillow. I looked up and saw a huge spider with the size of a hand. I jumped out of my bed and gazed at it from a little distance while being shocked. I put on the light for a better view, after which it was suddenly gone.
- The second time, somewhere around the morning, I suddenly noticed a lot of maggots were coming out of a corner of the ceiling of my bedroom. I knew it was very unlikely but it scared me anyway. To see it better, I put on my glasses without shifting my gaze and they were still there. They were huge, and they started to spread all over the ceiling and walls. I looked up to see if there were any crawling above me which could possibly fall down on me. I didn't saw any directly above me, so I looked back at the corner and suddenly, everything there was gone.

I talked about the second one with my psychiatrist. She asked whether I noticed any change when I put on my glasses, but I don't remember. I would say my sight, including the hallucinated part, became less blurry when I put on my glasses. Is this possible? I asked it in this thread a while ago, but nobody replied.

Tyler77 wrote:Hi.

As someone who has experienced hallucinations since 2011, I can say for the most part, that I am able to tell most of mine aren't real, due to how absurd they are. One of my hallucinations, I went outside to check the mail, and I look on my neighbors front porch, and there is a sheep, just standing there, doing nothing. "baaws" at me, and then I walk inside my house. Let me explain that I live nowhere near farms. Then, whenever I was at work (grocery store), I saw a bunny rabbit come out from around the corner. This isn't in the back of the store, or the front, this is in the dairy section. I was completely psychotic and at rock bottom when this happened, and I thought it was real, so I chased after it. I got really close to it, and then it started running away. Then, all of a sudden, it disappeared out of thin air. Then, one day, I walked out of my room and into my living room, and there was a wolf. It didn't growl at me, it didn't howl, it just stood there. I walked around it and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich, and while I was doing so, it got up on the couch and sat on it. It sat in the middle, while my two dogs sat on the sides of it. I went into my living room to grab my phone so I could take a picture of it, and when I went back out, it was gone. I looked for it, believe me, and it was nowhere to be found.

Those are the only three times I've hallucinated and they were animals. I've seen other things, such as hands and feet coming through the wall, silhouettes of people running at me, demons, angels, all sorts of things.

Did you consider all of these hallucinations as disturbing? A sheep and a bunny rabbit running through the grocery store sound pretty harmess to be, especially compared to some of your other hallucinations such as hands and feet coming through the wall and demons.

Why are people even responding? We aren't monkeys in a cage at the zoo. Our illness isn't fascinating it is sad and debilitating.

twinkle86 wrote:Why are people even responding? We aren't monkeys in a cage at the zoo. Our illness isn't fascinating it is sad and debilitating.

Exchanging knowledge is never a bad thing. Some like sharing personal experiences, too.

twistednerve wrote:

twinkle86 wrote:Why are people even responding? We aren't monkeys in a cage at the zoo. Our illness isn't fascinating it is sad and debilitating.

Exchanging knowledge is never a bad thing. Some like sharing personal experiences, too.

True, but I think the way you started this thread may come through as a bit rude in a way which is hard to explain. Even though I believe it was well-intended, I can understand twinkle86' reaction to it.

@twinkle86
I don't believe twistednerve intended to be rude. I would say he asked for your personal experiences in a well-meant attempt to better understand your illness, with all respect to your suffering. He just asked it a little bit clumsy maybe.

twinkle86 wrote:Why are people even responding? We aren't monkeys in a cage at the zoo. Our illness isn't fascinating it is sad and debilitating.

I love telling others about my mental illness and what I go through. I my opinion, it helps raise awareness and acceptance. I don't think he was being rude by asking this question, I think he was being curious. There's nothing wrong with asking a question (in my eyes at least).

Just like my AVPD issue will keep me worrying about coming on as rude or weird from now on, like it just happened irl. lol

twistednerve wrote:Just like my AVPD issue will keep me worrying about coming on as rude or weird from now on, like it just happened irl. lol

I know it might be easier said than done when it's your very nature to do so, but please don't worry about it too much. You've written 1619 posts by now and I haven't ever seen any other post from you which I believe could be considered rude. Honestly, even this one wasn't that rude either. For me personally, it didn't came off as such. All I intended to say was that it possibly could be considered that way by a small group of people. Most are probably not bothered by it at all. I hope I didn't cause you to ruminate over this now. If so, I'm sincerely sorry. Feel free to PM me if you want.

ZonedOut wrote:

twistednerve wrote:Just like my AVPD issue will keep me worrying about coming on as rude or weird from now on, like it just happened irl. lol

I know it might be easier said than done when it's your very nature to do so, but please don't worry about it too much. You've written 1619 posts by now and I haven't ever seen any other post from you which I believe could be considered rude. Honestly, even this one wasn't that rude either. For me personally, it didn't came off as such. All I intended to say was that it possibly could be considered that way by a small group of people. Most are probably not bothered by it at all. I hope I didn't cause you to ruminate over this now. If so, I'm sincerely sorry. Feel free to PM me if you want.

Well, not much as ruminate, just be more careful with my wording from now on, around these parts.