My mental health is deteriorating. Need advice.

I'm in my teens. I've been in treatment for over a year and I'm still where I started, if not in a worse place. I've been hospitalized five times for suicidal ideation and I'm still not better (unless you count my improvement in lying). I'm not looking for a diagnosis, only some advice from people who have experienced similar things.

I'm lost, I have no idea what's going on. My psychologist had me tested for early/first episode psychosis but I don't know if that's what's happening. I hear things no one else seems to, faint whispers just loud enough for me to hear and I can't make out what they're saying. They sound like they're coming from a phone, all staticy and whatnot. They don't happen all the time, only a few times a day. I hear them a lot in crowds (more like feel them around me, the hairs in the back of my neck stand up when they're near) but otherwise I only hear them at home.

I barely leave my house, I have two friends in real life. Socializing has become especially difficult and if I were to be truthful, I'm kind of glad to be alone. It's hard to talk to people, my mind goes blank and when it doesn't, I can't even say what I want to because I feel like they're going to use it against me in the future. I feel like everyone stares at me, this has caused me to leave school (currently waiting to be placed in a therapeutic school for a 45 day evaluation).

My thoughts seem to slip through my fingers too, like I had a word in my mind I was going to say but then it just leaves before I can speak it out loud. Sort of like the "tip of the tongue" feeling but more intense. This happens most often when I'm writing. It's also harder to answer questions unless they're specific. My mental health is getting worse everyday and I don't know what's going on. Thank you for reading all of this, any advice is appreciated.

My teen years were horrible as well. I even had a very serious suicide attempt at 15. I read your story and it feels like I have been there. What I can say is that it does get better. It's very hard to get an accurate diagnosis in your teens so that means it's also hard to get proper medication. You might not be on the right med combo right now. Once they figure that out you will be in a much better place.
Keep the lines of communication open with your psychiatrist. Make sure that they know that you feel that the meds and treatment are not working. If they haven't suggested switching you to something different you suggest it.
I hope you get a proper evaluation at the therapeutic school.

Hi, cat

You're not alone out there.

I wont bore you with the details of my life . I have been where you are at and can assure you, it will get better. I'm 42 years old. Not perfect by any means, but functional. And happy enough with life. Hell, maybe happier than some. In spite of my postings

My hallucinations are fairly mild, similar to yours but not exactly the same.

And I get the want to isolate. I do this as well.

Just wanted to say you aren't alone.

Thank you both for the replies, it's very much appreciated. I'm worried things will get worse from here, but there is always a chance they will get better.

Hi. Sounds like things are very difficult for you.
I suggest that you see a psychiatrist though. You can control this before it controls you.

It was hard being a teenager for me growin up...can't imagine what it's like now adays....keep lookin for answers..never lose your curioisity of how to figure out the questions of life and it's problems confrontin you.....just dont try acid a million times like i did ...doesnt help, ya know, not for me

Hi my disorder kicked in during grade school and I pretty much dropped out in the 5th grade the few times I went to school i'd eat lunch in the bathroom so I didn't have to interact with anybody then I found drugs and alcohol that helped keep the sickness at a minimum. I prolly started hearing voices around 12 yrs then started drinking at 13.I guess the drink held voices and screwed up thought processes in check but after 25 yrs of it my body can't take it anymore as its makes me physically ill .Do not do this.keep in mind that drugs and especially alcohol can and usually will make you feel better but thats just because it takes the misery from one level to a less intense level because it dulls the senses. good luck

your symptoms dont even sound like schizophrenia yet compared to most schizophrenics. you should try lexapro for your depression it has a promiscious binding mechanism.

also very important dont ingest any dopaminergics, like caffeine, energy drinks, nicotine, sugar free gum, anything sugar free has phenylalanine which is a dopamine precursor.

as i had my first episode of flashes of vision and paranoia from redbull when i was really young. so that can actually onset depression and psychosis. because your dopamine and serotonin runs out then compensates in a perverse way.