NPD & covert SPD

Well I'd say researching about the ancient civilizations is more important then say .... fashion designing , but that's just me.

I shouldn't answer for all the narcs, I'm a very different narc , my answers wouldn't match the majority ( by different I don't mean more special , I just mean different , I don't care about admiration for example)

It's a general question, I think I don't like fashion, I think it's completely "empty" but many people disagree. Some are even proud to be "stylists" (so pretty much useless in my book). I know that there are people who would say that ancient civilizations are long dead and space exploration is not important and we should spend money elsewhere. It all depends on your values.

Well , I'm in love with social sciences and I wanted to be an archeologist , so my answer is obvious I guess : )

The "need for admiration" thing is still too unclear for me. I have a need for concrete confirmation of my sense of superiority (like I said back then, in my other thread about it, it's a sense, not a belief). But admiration often works in the opposite direction: if someone I see as stupid admires me, and I'm not in any way trying to manipulate/influence them, then it's not a good thing... Also, more often than not, I perceive flattery to be a futile attempt at manipulation, and completely meaningless. I derive the "admiration" I need from the inside, through interpretation of indirect input I receive.

As I already expected her to, Gray said she doesn't have a need for actual admiration either. Sounds about right. But she is technically a narcissist, while I'm not, and most of you guys probably aren't either. Feels to me like we have counterexamples to the distinction here. So... where's the line? What defines it?

Zomonada wrote:As a moderately narcissistic Covert Schizoid, I guess it would be that I don't care about how other people are.

Forgot to mention. I think your reply was straight to the point. But is it really a "unanimous trait" among schizoids?

anagram wrote:

Zomonada wrote:As a moderately narcissistic Covert Schizoid, I guess it would be that I don't care about how other people are.

Forgot to mention. I think your reply was straight to the point. But is it really a "unanimous trait" among schizoids?

What? The narcissism or the people part?

I doubt anyone here has any specific grand qualifications for their friends. If anything, they probably just can't be stupid or something along those lines.

Schizoids aren't malignant. As a covert narcissist, who can also identify to an extent with secret schizoids, I have to see myself as nice/decent in other people's eyes, even though I know that it's an illusion, so the approval of others means nothing on a deeper level.

I absolutely do need a lot of time alone, though.

funky wrote:Schizoids aren't malignant.

What does this word mean? (As far as psychology is concerned, I mean.)

I can only think of some twisted evil witch laughing uncontrollably after stealing candy from a child who got lost in the woods. Or a bad tumor, but that's boring.

More on topic, I think the actual distinction is defensiveness. Narcissists (each in their own way) feel a compulsive need to defend their pride. Sometimes actively, sometimes only reactively. This is something alien to schizoids. Fight or flight? Be still.

I don't know what the official definition is, but for me it means that, in the past, I've taken pleasure in the pain that I've caused others. I wasn't consciously aiming for this at the time, but later, (sometimes years later), I could remember that sort of triumphantly spiteful reaction that I had. It's the lack, too, maybe, of an underlying benevolent nature. Schizoids might lack this too, but they are neutral or passive, rather than malevolent.

I think in the end this can be reduced to defensiveness. It's not a direct sadistic pleasure. The pleasure achieved is only through relief by healing of a superficial wound to pride. The sense of superiority is challenged, and then restored through devaluing.

So the devaluing actions are not necessarily meant to be hurtful (though they frequently are), because the non-sadistic narcissist will only feel pleasure in being back to their pedestal (by lowering the ground around them), while the hurt itself is only a collateral damage.

Then there's the actual malignant narcissist. Their pride is based on sadistic principles. Causing suffering is what they aim for, and being the causer and not the sufferer is what distinguishes them in their own eyes. But they're only a subset of NPD.