Do I have schizoid / aspie tendencies or am I just selfish?

Ah. Yes. Well, it would be quite worrisome if they came up with a diagnosis after an hour. I’m just looking forward to the beginning of a “process” that might help to put my thoughts in order and help me maintain friendships. Whatever I might or might not have.

All I can say is good luck, Mel.....

and here comes the hard reality. I don't really wish you anything, nor do I care much if you may have a disorder or not (or something else for that matter.... I know, to those with emotions, this will definitely sound pretty harsh and I bet some may call me "asshole" or "insensitive prick" or something), so why did I write "good luck" then?.... Out of habit and conditioning. I've been brought up to be polite and it's part of me, but behind these seemingly well meaning words, there's a huge void and indifference and from my perspective there's really no meaning behind these words when I say them...

Oh, and my head is floating again, so I can't think of anything better to say right now and it's actually difficult right now to connect various "leftover" thoughts so I can construct a full sentence. My brain is blank again...

dbx wrote:All I can say is good luck, Mel.....

and here comes the hard reality. I don't really wish you anything, nor do I care much if you may have a disorder or not (or something else for that matter.... I know, to those with emotions, this will definitely sound pretty harsh and I bet some may call me "asshole" or "insensitive prick" or something), so why did I write "good luck" then?.... Out of habit and conditioning. I've been brought up to be polite and it's part of me, but behind these seemingly well meaning words, there's a huge void and indifference and from my perspective there's really no meaning behind these words when I say them...

Oh, and my head is floating again, so I can't think of anything better to say right now and it's actually difficult right now to connect various "leftover" thoughts so I can construct a full sentence. My brain is blank again...

Empty words said out of politeness and obligation but with no meaning. The world would be so much better without them. And they are not even a schizoid-only feature.

Oh yeah, this is not exactly the forum where people complain about someone being harsh, so don't bother apologizing.

A bit of an update –
I have been seeing a therapist to help me interact better with people and be able to initiate conversations, etc. She has been very helpful so far. After talking to her a lot and looking more in depth at both SPD and Asperger’s, she and I are fairly convinced that I lean more towards AS. I didn’t want to look too much into it before I saw someone because I didn’t want to be biased in my self-descriptions, etc. I think that my behaviour as a child and my current thought process and match the AS diagnosis better than the SPD.

She is strongly encouraging me to go to a psychiatrist in order to get an official diagnosis, because I don’t want to identify myself as AS without an official opinion, I don’t want to be “a fraud”, if that makes sense?

So I guess I wish all of you the best of luck and a really happy life, and I’ll be hanging out on the AS forum once I get an official diagnosis.