Women Schizoids

I think females have a different experience as a Schizoid trying to make it in society. Girls are suppose to be social and bubbly and talkative. I'm the opposite, and I think it freaks people out, but over the years I've become a very good actress. My personality is normally a brick wall, but I need to get along at work and talk to strangers all day. I have to do my best "let's be cute and happy" act all day long, and when I come home from work all I want to do is lie on the couch and sleep and dream about being a hermit in the woods someday.

I am a hermit in the woods.
The false notion that girls and women should all be a gaggle of gabbing giggling geese is just not true. Nothing grates on my nerves more than perky personalities.
Women are expected to be more emotionally available, though, and that is a problem for schizoid females, I think more so than for males, who can be accepted as the strong silent type.

puma wrote:Women are expected to be more emotionally available, though, and that is a problem for schizoid females, I think more so than for males, who can be accepted as the strong silent type.

Yes, I've read that that's a possible reason for why known schizoids tend to be males more than females. It begs the question, though: has the enforcement of society's expectations caused the possible female schizoid to be forced into a non-disordered personality, or is she still a schizoid and just putting up a front, as shadylady does?

At least shady lady you dont have the problem of being vain and trying to reassure ones self of how insecure the male baby/schizoid? loves and embraces oneself.Whether schizoid or not surely it must be a bonus not to have to admire oneself in the mirror only to see it shatter into a million tiny pieces which is served up as a breakfast cereal making one sharp and insensitive.Only one word when describing woman,SUPERIORITY.

puma wrote:Women are expected to be more emotionally available, though, and that is a problem for schizoid females, I think more so than for males, who can be accepted as the strong silent type.

On the other hand, from the standpoint of starting and maintaining relationships(which I have pretty much given up on), the same emotional nonavailability characteristic is a huge problem for SPD males in a culture that expects the sounding/gizzard-swinging/bearing-of-canines/display-of-colorful-buttocks courtship rituals to be ostentatiously done by the male. Females are allowed (and expected) to do much more subtle displays, which is probably a very much easier expectation for schizoids to fulfill.

A Rebours wrote:

puma wrote:Women are expected to be more emotionally available, though, and that is a problem for schizoid females, I think more so than for males, who can be accepted as the strong silent type.

On the other hand, from the standpoint of starting and maintaining relationships(which I have pretty much given up on), the same emotional nonavailability characteristic is a huge problem for SPD males in a culture that expects the sounding/gizzard-swinging/bearing-of-canines/display-of-colorful-buttocks courtship rituals to be ostentatiously done by the male. Females are allowed (and expected) to do much more subtle displays, which is probably a very much easier expectation for schizoids to fulfill.

I totally agree. In courtship the male is expected to take the initiative. I have never envied men in this regard, although I have taken the initiative in most of my own relationships. If I see a man I am interested in, I make the first move, and hope I am not scaring him off. Most men seem happy to be relieved of the burden of having to be first to move. I admit I am weird, and the men who find me attractive are also a little weird (although fine specimens of the male gender!).
On the whole, I find that the mating game is actually the easiest sort of relationship to initiate and nurture. In other sorts of relationships it is more nebulous, and not so easy to know how to keep it going.

I know that women can have it much harder than schizoid men when it comes to "family business". Usually is is expected of a woman to be the "emotional engine" of the family that nurtures the family fire, while warm and emotional men are also praised, a man can be the "strong silent type that brings home the cash" and still get respect and understanding in society. Women have it a bit harder in this aspect, we are also (at lest in poland) expected to be good mothers. A guy can be rather distant and not want to have kids, while it is not praised, it is acceptable. A woman that doesn't want to have children is often unacceptable for society.

I was lucky as I had a reasonable, understanding family. They are middle class inteligentsia and they spared me such expectations. I was expcted to be intelligent, succesful, independant and innovative rather than warm, emotional and cuddly.
I'm not sure if this is because this is how my parens see the world and the role of women, or is it because they knew from the start that I'm different from most kids.

Most days of my life I end up thinking 'this would be so much better if I was a boy'. Because it would be, for the reasons mentioned above.
But I don't really care enough to actually want to have an operation. This is how I am, and that's how it is.

I hear you.

I'm lucky that the worse that comes from it is just being called a dyke a lot... I'm sure this has something to do with my appearance but my personality, deemed more masculine than simply gender-neutral by most, certainly doesn't help.

I think it's more difficult for a woman, primarily because women are supposed to be the stereotypical 'emotional' gender.

Before I proceed, I will state that I'm a female.

Several online tests tell me I think like a man (I know they're not scientifically accurate, but they're still fun to take).

My dad used to jokingly refer to me as his 'son', simply because I wasn't emotional like my sister was (and I also had no interest in dolls, frilly dresses or any of the other things little girls like to do).

My friends were primarily boys, simply because I was able to relate to them far more than I could ever relate to girls.

I've had men refer to me as 'a buddy', and several have told others that I'm 'cool', and that I'm 'one of the guys'.

I don't understand women in general, because many of them are emotional, and they react emotionally, whereas I always favor logic. Then again, most of them don't understand me, either.

Strangely enough, men will sit down and discuss things with me that they'd never discuss with other women, and most women avoid pouring their problems on me because I don't react they way they want/expect me to.

Overall, I'm happy with who I am, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been difficult over the years. Once people get to know me, most of them think I'm okay, but most people don't quite know how to 'take me' when they first meet me. I don't fit the female stereotypes, and it does throw them off.