Am i Schizoid or just introverted?

This has been bothering me recently, because i do seem to have schizoidal tendencies. I lifted these questions off wikipedia, they supposed to help shrinks tell if someone is schizoidal or not...

Do you have close relationships with friends or family? If yes, with whom? If no, does this bother you?: I have pretty close relationships with a large part of my family. This is especially true with my parents, sister, and grandmother. I don't have much in the way of friends, which all pretty much all through work. There is one guy there who i could say i'm pretty comfortable with, everyone else there are conversational. I have nobody i hang out with, and really haven't had someone like that since i was about fifteen (moved away from those people).

Do you wish you had close relationships with others?: I would like it, though i would be perfectly comfortable with only one or two non-work friends.

Some people prefer to spend time alone, Others prefer to be with people. How would you describe yourself?: I like...well... both really. I get something out of conversation, but not so much partying. A small group of people is ideal. At the same time, i enjoy my alone time.

Do you frequently choose to do things by yourself?: I don't turn down invitations to social events, so i don't "choose" really. I do end up doing things by myself as i don't get many invitations, and i don't ever do the inviting.

Would it bother you to go a long time without a sexual
relationship? Does your sex life seem important or could you get along as well without it?: I've never had a sexual relationship, not even a romantic one. I could live without it, but i would like to have sex someday, and perhaps even go as far as to get married.

What kind of activities do you enjoy?: Heres where it gets tricky. I enjoy traveling, the internet, good comedy(and some bad), video games, and a few other things.

Do you confide in anyone who is not in your immediate family?:
Not really, but i do get confided at by people from outside the family. More a listener then a talker.

How do you react when someone criticizes you?: It depends on what they say. If i feel the insult has some truth to it, it will bother me for a while. If not, i take it in stride.

How do you react when someone compliments you?: Depends if they seem sincere or not. If they do, i feel thankful for it. If they do not seem sincere, i say thanks anyway, but don't take much from it.

In addition, i seem to have issues regarding self esteem and depression. I have talked to my parents about my problems, but they don't see anything wrong with me. I have never been called aloof or cold by anyone. Most people seem to see me as a nice person, but i can't get in their heads to tell.

When i was a kid, i was a fairly sociable person. I didn't make enemies, and got a long with every one. Right before jr high, i was taken out of school and home schooled with some relatives. During those years (10-15), i had few friends out of the family. When i turned 15 i did play video games with kids down the street until i moved. Now i am enrolled in a community college, which ironically, is not much of a community.

Well, thats about it. Could i qualify as a shizoid to any degree?

Sounds introverted to me. Well.. quick check, what are you feeling right now, at this very moment?

Vilageidiotx wrote:Well, thats about it. Could i qualify as a shizoid to any degree?

Personally I would vote "not-schizoid and just introverted". Schizoids tend to be "very" introverted and more often than not emotionally dead or on the way to. Schizoids are also extreme loners but what is important to know is that this extreme desire for loneliness doesn't come from an anxiety around others or a fear of rejection. In my case, at least, I have no problems of that type around others, but being in a group just doesn't follow my congnitive style and after a while I'll feel like I am choking. I'll always decline invitations to any social events unless I know someone specifically wants me to be there; then I'll end up going for that person instead of myself.

On reading through your topic get the impression that you are still quite young,but seem to be very knowledgable about spd.
You have obviously researched this condition and if i had to ask the professor for his medical opinion,feel sure he would describe you as being mature beyond your years.
You mention you have one or two people at work and on a social setting who you spend time with this sounds encouraging,something which you may wish to build upon by expanding your interests.

Your parents appear supportive,you actually being able to raise concerns with them.I could not give you a professional diagnosis because i am not qulified as a docter.
However if i was given a role in a play as a docter,this would be my assessment if you played the part of a patient,heargoes.
I could offer some medication if you felt this might help with the depression,but would strongly advise against it and to such times you have tried alternative options.example;yoga,swimming,running anything that might break up the cycle ofdepression.


Try joining a theatre company this might help with confidence and self esteem issues,also would recommend you see the counselor for twelve one hour sessions.
Please come back and see me in three months time, or before if your condition worsens.
If push came to shove and you held a double barreled shotgun to madmels temple and threatened to pull the trigger unless i gave an answer hears what it would be.
Could be borderline spd to early to tell because of age try self help and see if maturity of age improves development.
GOOD LUCK;.

Just for fun I decided to answer to those questions myself:

Do you have close relationships with friends or family? If yes, with whom? If no, does this bother you?:
I don't have close relationships to anyone. I have friends and I like my family, but I almost never confide to them unless it's a life-threatening situation.

Do you wish you had close relationships with others?:
Not really, though I would like to try to have a romantic/sexual relationship, but I have no idea if I would actually enjoy it or be able to sustain it.

Some people prefer to spend time alone, Others prefer to be with people. How would you describe yourself?:
I always spend my time alone. I'll only spend my time with people if somebody specifically wanted me to be there. Otherwise I'll stay alone.

Do you frequently choose to do things by yourself?:
I always do things by myself unless it's something that has to be done and cannot be done alone.

Would it bother you to go a long time without a sexual
relationship? Does your sex life seem important or could you get along as well without it?:
I have no sex life right now nor ever had any and I seem to be doing well without it. I would like to try it at least once though to know how it feels. I still have an odd feeling of non-existance when it comes to sex.

What kind of activities do you enjoy?:
I do not enjoy any "activities" per see. I somewhat enjoy video games and listening to music. Otherwise I only really like anything that has to do with "thinking", like science, philosophy, psychology, etc. But I rarely enjoy anything that is "external", like sports or the likes. I enjoy taking solitary walks, but then again it's to be able to think while nobody is around.

Do you confide in anyone who is not in your immediate family?:
I usually do not confide in anyone. But oddly enough, if I really have to I have an easier time to do it with total strangers than my family or friends. The thing is that I do not really fear the "judgement", but more that the person would end up caring about me and try to keep track of how I feel and that would annoy me quite intensely. It's unlikely that people further from me will come back at me about problems I told them. But you cannot really escape your family.

How do you react when someone criticizes you?:
It depends on what kind of criticism it is. If it's constructive I take note of it and work to fix the situation if I see it as a problem. If it's destructive or just childish, in my mind the credibility of the other person drops to zero and I start to have a weird feeling of superiority. As if I would think "Look at him, unable to be rational and keep his cool over a small problem!". Outwardly I guess I would probably either ignore it or say something like "I see...".

How do you react when someone compliments you?:
Same thing as before. If it's constructive I will take note of it so it won't be as obvious next time so as to not be complimented again. If it appears that the person just like me, I'll probably start studing the person for a distance and check if I could try the relationship thing mentionned earlier; given that the person is a female. Outwardly I guess I would probably either ignore it or say something like "I see...".

But due to my general lack of social life, it has been a really long while I hadn't been criticised or complimented, so I'm not sure how I would "really" react. All I know is that I tend to react less "in real life" than what I thought I would when I was thinking about it.

Leikiz wrote:Sounds introverted to me. Well.. quick check, what are you feeling right now, at this very moment?

I'm right now in a fairly good mood. I guess emotion seems to be the key difference between schizoid and introvert. Well, i do experience emotions. The only emotion i rarely feel is excitement, but i have been that way since i was a kid. I don't get real angry, but it has happened. The rest of the emotions i feel pretty normally.
I don't tend to feel much over what happens to people i don't know. I mean, i feel sorry for the people they leave behind, but the event doesn't impact me much. Take the VT shooting. I was suprised, but it didn't make me feel sad. The only major exception was 9/11, which scared the crap out of me more than anything. When it is someone i know, i feel the way most people do in that situation.

At this point, i'm having difficulty telling where introvert turns to schizoid.

Vilageidiotx wrote:

Leikiz wrote:Sounds introverted to me. Well.. quick check, what are you feeling right now, at this very moment?

I'm right now in a fairly good mood.

In my case, and in the case of probably most schizoids, I have no real idea of how I feel at the moment. I tend to either feel nothing of have weird internal pressures that cannot quite be linked to emotions (alexithymia).

Vilageidiotx wrote:At this point, i'm having difficulty telling where introvert turns to schizoid.

I see being a schizoid as a completely different game than being introvert. Schizoids will tend to be massively more introverted than the regular introvert, but it's more complex than that. Schizoids tend to be absolute thinkers, but generally feel detached from everything, including themselves in many cases. Schizoids will often struggle at their lack of connection and emotion and feel like they are stuck in a gray and barren world without taste or flavor.

Peptron wrote:

Vilageidiotx wrote: At this point, i'm having difficulty telling where introvert turns to schizoid.

I see being a schizoid as a completely different game than being introvert. Schizoids will tend to be massively more introverted than the regular introvert, but it's more complex than that. Schizoids tend to be absolute thinkers, but generally feel detached from everything, including themselves in many cases. Schizoids will often struggle at their lack of connection and emotion and feel like they are stuck in a gray and barren world without taste or flavor.

I agree with Peptron. I see a big different between being an introvert and being schizoid (just like there's a big difference between being somewhat emotional and being histrionic). SPD and personality disorders in general are personality traits taken to the extreme. Vilageidiotx, both you and Peptron answered the same set of questions, but Peptron's answers were on the extreme end of the social scale. They seem to accurately represent the general schizoid mentality: "I want to be alone. I socialize only when absolutely necessary, and even then I do so reluctantly and without pleasure."

Peptron.

I've been reading this forum for some time now but was compelled to sign up and posy when I read what you wrote about the way you perceive emotions.

I saw a professional Psychotherapist a few years ago and while he never actually told me of nay diagnosis, the letter that got send back to my GP talked of a 'Schizoid split'.

So i've trailed on with my life, with a general feeling that I'm missing out on something huge.

Back to my point - i've been aware of sensations in my body for several years now, I used to aggressively massage the spot they seemed to be though it makes little difference.
More recently i've taken to deep groaning/humming to 'reach' the inner part of me (I think the vibration of my vocal chords seems to make some sort of connection to this 'thing' inside me).

If alone i can find myself doing this quite loudly for hours and but try to keep it to a minimum in company. The only thing I can really say about it is that when i do this 'groaning', I feel connected to the something inside me. This 'something' also moves around - often it sits just below my sternum and the longer it stays there the more uncomfortable it becomes, sometimes nearly to the point of physical pain. Eventually it'll gradually move, often to my back or my inner chest area, but it's nevr predictable. I find i can deal with people more easily when the sensation in centered around my stomach area. These inner sensations feel like the real me, but the trouble is I can't understand them, never mind communicate them - I told my GP about the groaning and he just gave a wry smile.

So i've ranted a bit, i've never spoken about this to anyone other than my twin brother and GP, and I wonder if it sounds anything like the 'weird internal pressures' you experience yourself?

Any feedback would be gratefully accepted.

Andrew

Mystery_Tramp wrote:So i've ranted a bit, i've never spoken about this to anyone other than my twin brother and GP, and I wonder if it sounds anything like the 'weird internal pressures' you experience yourself?

I'm not sure, it's hard to describe.

I think that this is that sometimes I feel "the end result" of emotions without actually experiencing the emotion itself. Like for example if you are sad, you could end up feeling a weird constriction in your upper chest. Then sometimes I could feel that, and end up thinking I am sad and start having sad thoughts, only to realise that in truth it's just that I am hungry and need to eat, and vice-versa.

I seem to have three "levels" of emotionality.
What is normal, you have the feeling and the emotion at the same time; this is starting to be pretty rare to me.
The total silence, where you feel absolutely nothing. I feel that way more and more often.
And the kind of twilight zone where you have the "physical feeling", but not quite the emotion that goes with it. Makes it very hard to tell how you feel, in that you feel something but it doesn't quite seem to have a name (other than alexithymia). Since most emotions have a physical component around the chest and the belly, you end up feeling those pressures but without them being linked to an emotion.
I have a fourth level of emotionality, depersonalization, but it seems to be getting much rarer, I'm not sure why... I am way less anxious and depressed than before, that might have something to do with it.