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The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

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The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby UrNotMyRealDad » Thu Jun 01, 2017 6:49 am

I'm not unhappy. I'm just glad others see the absurdity in society the way it runs currently. I recently started to suspect I was Schizoid after what feels like over a decade of research. I had started a new job, and one of my coworkers was a psych major. I brought up my diagnoses for ADHD from 1995, and expressed that I didn't think a functioning relationship was in my cards because I was on the autistic spectrum.

She stated that the newest version of the DSM (whatever number) has changed that classification, and she felt I wasn't displaying any autistic tendencies. Over time, as I began to show her more of my true self and not my persona, she agreed I was not neurotypical, but still did not believe I was autistic.

A few months later I was in a hyper focused research mode, and stumbled on this PD. I sent it to her almost immediately. Her response came much more quickly than anticipated, and she said something along the lines of...

"Wow, yea that actually makes much more sense. It's very rare though."

She did not believe I was fully Schizophrenic.

I fit almost 100% of the criteria, and it appears comorbit with ADHD in my case.

I'm not worried, stressed, broke, hungry, yearning for anything outside of long term work related goals I will likely achieve.

I'm generally happy when I follow my own internal compass, but when I try and do "normal" things I am very unhappy, and end up becoming very depressed and lonely. It's strange, the closer I get to people, the more lonely I feel.

I used to bounce jobs every 6 months. Keep the network, but leave on a postive frame of reference and just grew it to extreme porportions. Everyone loves my persona. Not a damn one of these people knows who I am. Not even a little. It's best if they don't.

I figured out I was a grey type Asexual at 21, and was dismissed for trying to express that. Everyone kept trying to push a homosexual lifestyle down my throat because I am mildly androgenous. I knew that wasn't me. It used to infuriate me.

Now I just ###$ with everyone to make them uncomfortable.

I'm not entirely "straight" persee, but I prefer the company of women. I'm not actually attracted to men like that. It's more of a perversion if that makes sense.

I guess my alcohol fueled rant ends like this.

I've been reading here.

I identify with a LOT of your personal experiences shared here. I don't have the energy to go through which ones right now at almost 3am, but I am so glad to find at least a few people that see the world in a similar way I do, and function in a similar way I do.

Because I honestly do not understand, even a little, how society makes the choices, and decisions they make. I do not understand the stressfull lifestyles they live, or their need to bring people into their immediate environment.

Their "normal" causes me direct harm. I cannot participate in it, in that way.

When it comes to fantasy worlds, I checked myself long long long long ago.

I got wrapped up in two "fantasy worlds" in my lifetime.

The first (and most dangerous) One was : "I can absolutely manipulate energy like the characters in anime." Got real into metaphysics, energy manipulation etc. Funnily enough, I may have had some success in that. But regardless, that is not worth excessive time. I could only see that leading into occult practice and other situations where I could have caused someone harm.

The second, and one I do not expect to drop, happens to be based in actual reality.

In that world, I am becoming, and will become, someone who is prolific in business. I have just so many dreams, ideas, businesses I want to start across so many industries. It's my driving force.

I channeled it into something that helps me. I did it a long long time ago.

I sacrificed everything normal to push towards these goals.

I have achieved many of these goals over time.

I expect to achieve at least a handful more.

In my fantasy, I am rich, all powerful, and able to make a large impact on the global capitalist economy.

Who I am, in that scenario in every way, is nothing like who I actually am.

But it is who I aim to be, and I will strive every moment for the rest of my life to achieve that because that feeling, that fire inside. It keeps me alive. It keeps me happy existing on the fringes.

Maybe its just rationalization. Maybe it's delusion. Probably. I don't care. I have to keep it, I have to use it. If I don't, I logically come to the conclusion that there is no logical reason to be here so why bother.

In truth, life can be fun, even alone. Admitting my dreams, and idealistic view of myself, the world, an others, will never come to pass, just won't allow me to function in any normal capacity.


Idk tho.

I'm just glad to see some testimonials from some others similar to myself.

But who cares.

Ur not my real Dad.


I spent year
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby naps » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:20 pm

Hi UrNotMyRealDad (great username). I hate to use your post as a platform to express my doubts about the way I've seen some people approach this subject, but there were a few observations in your post that brought to mind some incongruities and/or misnomers I've seen expressed here before.

I'm not questioning your self-assessment or the veracity of you observations, but what you've written leaves me wide open to make a few comments that may inadvertently relate to what you are saying. I'm using your post as a springboard to bring up another topic, not criticizing your observations, so I apologize in advance for derailing your thread...

I'm wondering if SPD should be split into two categories; Schizoid Personality and Schizoid Personality Disorder.

There have been a few posts here made by schizoids who appear to be well adjusted and happy with their lives. They've internalized the symptoms and limitations of the disorder and seem to be able to circumvent any undesirable or crippling effects they may have. I would define these people as having a Schizoid Personality.

Then there are others who seem dissatisfied with their lives and their level of functionality. Their posts reflect more than a need to define and understand the disorder, dealing instead with the frustrations and roadblocks they find themselves up against. I would consider this more in line with Schizoid Personality Disorder

From Wikipedia: Personality disorders (PD) are a class of mental disorders characterized by enduring maladaptive patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating markedly from those accepted by the individual's culture. These patterns develop early, are inflexible, and are associated with significant distress or disability.

Is it truly classifiable as a disorder if it's something that doesn't cause you a lot of problems? Or limitations? The OP here describes himself as "not unhappy" and says "I'm not worried, stressed, broke, hungry, yearning for anything outside of long term work related goals I will likely achieve."

But in my case, being schizoid has resulted in settling into a line of work that is both beneath my level of skill and insufficiently financially sound. It has created difficulties in interpersonal relationships. These difficulties have a ripple affect that seem to always surround and limit me from the kind of fulfillment that some others here have somehow managed to achieve. These are two things I've frequently seen listed as common fallout for people who struggle with SPD (as opposed to sitting relatively comfortably with it).

Maybe it's just a way of looking at things. Maybe it has something to do with the comorbidity of other disorders.

Or maybe it's just semantics?
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby Holodeck » Tue Jun 06, 2017 2:15 pm

Hey @Urnotmyrealdad, and welcome!

Read everything in your post, and I'd say the majority of that was extremely familiar (especially around my early 20's). My life has gotten a lot easier since then, and many schizoid aspects have calmed down as well. Hopefully the same will happen for you.


naps wrote:
I'm wondering if SPD should be split into two categories; Schizoid Personality and Schizoid Personality Disorder.

There have been a few posts here made by schizoids who appear to be well adjusted and happy with their lives. They've internalized the symptoms and limitations of the disorder and seem to be able to circumvent any undesirable or crippling effects they may have. I would define these people as having a Schizoid Personality.

Then there are others who seem dissatisfied with their lives and their level of functionality. Their posts reflect more than a need to define and understand the disorder, dealing instead with the frustrations and roadblocks they find themselves up against. I would consider this more in line with Schizoid Personality Disorder

From Wikipedia: Personality disorders (PD) are a class of mental disorders characterized by enduring maladaptive patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating markedly from those accepted by the individual's culture. These patterns develop early, are inflexible, and are associated with significant distress or disability.

Is it truly classifiable as a disorder if it's something that doesn't cause you a lot of problems? Or limitations? The OP here describes himself as "not unhappy" and says "I'm not worried, stressed, broke, hungry, yearning for anything outside of long term work related goals I will likely achieve."

Maybe it's just a way of looking at things. Maybe it has something to do with the comorbidity of other disorders.

Or maybe it's just semantics?


Though there's a risk of this turning into something that could seem like Millon's subtypes of SPD, I would love for this to be a thread. I get what you mean about SP vs SPD with some and think it would be an interesting read.
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby Rainsworth » Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:09 pm

naps wrote:I'm wondering if SPD should be split into two categories; Schizoid Personality and Schizoid Personality Disorder.

There have been a few posts here made by schizoids who appear to be well adjusted and happy with their lives. They've internalized the symptoms and limitations of the disorder and seem to be able to circumvent any undesirable or crippling effects they may have. I would define these people as having a Schizoid Personality.

Then there are others who seem dissatisfied with their lives and their level of functionality. Their posts reflect more than a need to define and understand the disorder, dealing instead with the frustrations and roadblocks they find themselves up against. I would consider this more in line with Schizoid Personality Disorder


I think the difference between Schizoid Personality and Schizoid Personality Disoder is the Anhedonia and lack of motivation.

If you're just a person who seek peaceful solitary and doesn't seek out meaningful relationships with people, i think you have Schizoid Personality.
If you're a person who suffers from Anhedonia and lack of motivation, especially to the degree where it start impacting your life negatively.. then, you have Schizoid Personality Disorder.

I've seen people on the internet saying that SPD shouldn't be considered a Personality Disorder, which i don't agree with at all, Anhedonia and lack of motivation are fuc*** up issues. especially that damn Anhedonia. i guess those people are just individuals with Schizoid Personality, so they probably don't suffer form the negative symptoms of SPD.
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby UK SPD » Wed Jun 07, 2017 9:12 am

On reflecting upon my over 60 years I'd say that I lived fairly functionally with a schizoid personality until I was in my fifties. It made me unsocial and unambitious, but not unhappy (though not necessarily happy). I was able to marry twice, but not able to maintain those marriages - a story that could be in anyone's life history.
It became Schizoid Personality Disorder when events crowded me into a psychotic breakdown (ie: that's when the authorities needed to diagnose me).
I'd say it's a disorder when your behaviour is disordered, until then it's just your personality.
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby Holodeck » Wed Jun 07, 2017 4:44 pm

I've never had my schizoid PD invole the authorities, but I have had psychosis. That however is mostly if not fully my bipolar (it's worse than my SPD mostly because I only seem to start to get it when alone). My psychosis moments will keep me from doing normal things. I've called off doing work because of them, and from seeing people, doing days worth of tasks etc.

I have been told (my bipolar causes quite a bit of amnesia) I make horrible decisions when I'm in that state, I get irrational, and paranoid when I'm normally not. I normally don't have an issue around people with my psychosis it seems unless I've messaged them during a meltdown (which is why I know how bad it's gotten). If they bring it up when I'm around, I seem to crack but don't remember it later. My manic highs have nearly involved police several times (turns out most people join the mile high club in the restroom of the plane), but they've lessened/evolved since my schizoid personality disorder blossomed or whatever. Now it's more shopping sprees, binge eating for extra energy, and random speeding while driving to destinations unknown. *sigh

Back to schizoid though, I definitely have maladaptive patterns, and they often go against what I feel is my actual personality.

*edit forgot to mention also have anhedonia and lack of motivation, though my bipolar sometimes gives me "feel good" adrenaline rushes. I have less of a problem than I used to, but it's still a bad impact and often makes me feel like I'm having to push against the current so to speak.
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby under ice » Wed Jun 07, 2017 5:33 pm

UK SPD wrote:On reflecting upon my over 60 years I'd say that I lived fairly functionally with a schizoid personality until I was in my fifties. It made me unsocial and unambitious, but not unhappy (though not necessarily happy). I was able to marry twice, but not able to maintain those marriages - a story that could be in anyone's life history.
It became Schizoid Personality Disorder when events crowded me into a psychotic breakdown (ie: that's when the authorities needed to diagnose me).
I'd say it's a disorder when your behaviour is disordered, until then it's just your personality.

Regarding your last sentence, in what way does the schizoid personality disorder become evident in a person's behaviour? Are you talking about the same thing as naps or something else?
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby UK SPD » Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:57 am

under ice wrote:
UK SPD wrote:On reflecting upon my over 60 years I'd say that I lived fairly functionally with a schizoid personality until I was in my fifties. It made me unsocial and unambitious, but not unhappy (though not necessarily happy). I was able to marry twice, but not able to maintain those marriages - a story that could be in anyone's life history.
It became Schizoid Personality Disorder when events crowded me into a psychotic breakdown (ie: that's when the authorities needed to diagnose me).
I'd say it's a disorder when your behaviour is disordered, until then it's just your personality.

Regarding your last sentence, in what way does the schizoid personality disorder become evident in a person's behaviour? Are you talking about the same thing as naps or something else?


When your behaviour draws you to the attention of authority, is when a disorder is evident.
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby Dalloway » Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:12 am

During the race riots in the US the authority hospitalized black ringleaders that fought for equality, diagnosing them with schizophrenia because of 'distorted political perceptions'.

Man, I thought it would take longer for your next blooper.

I don't know why it's necessary to oracle around what a disorder is. There is a definition. And naps posted it.

under ice wrote:Are you talking about the same thing as naps or something else?

I guess he's not quite sure himself.
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Re: The familiarity of this experience is just amazing.

Postby Akuma » Thu Jun 08, 2017 12:40 pm

Is it truly classifiable as a disorder if it's something that doesn't cause you a lot of problems? Or limitations?


Eventho the whole spectrum point of view is very in since quite a while it complicates things.
For example if a mental illness is egosyntonic or egodystonic is not necessarily relevant for it being a disorder. A lot of psychopaths, sociopaths, rapists, killers, people with [paranoid] schizophrenia, NPD, BPD, substance-abusers etc etc have no insight into having a disorder and their subjective suffering or "problems" will often be simply denied, or they might just as often simply be absent.
Ultimately the word disorder suffers from the same problem that all words suffer from though, namely that an appropriate, perfect definition will fail, due to our limitations of language. So we have to jump back to common sense and medical knowledge, which will always be influenced by cultural and social values as well as the individuals capacity to put things into perspective. The latter of which is usually quite limited in people with Cluster B PDs. So for example if its a disorder or not might be harder to even figure out for someone who has SPD, because of an absence of the fluidity of his empathy / mirroring capacities, ergo his incapacity to envision a totally different life from another perspective.
dx: SPD
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