Are you unpleasant?

Do people think of you as unpleasant? Why? Have you managed to change your attitude? I think I have an attitude problem.

I've never heard myself described as unpleasant, but a lot of people have said I am intimidating. I think that being quiet and observant can come across that way. Admittedly, sometimes it is intentional, but most of the time just keeping to myself gives the impression that I'm angry or mean. Wicked case of RBF, I guess.

Usually people tend to say I am very pleasant, very funny, very positive.

I do make some people uncomfortable, I think, because I am forthright and don't easily suffer platitudes or pleasantries. People who are highly skilled in the art of social manipulation find me offputting for that reason.

I have occasionally been described as tactless - but usually I'm too socially anxious and non-assertive to be other than mild mannered.
I assume that you'd have to be well to the aggressive end of assertiveness for people to consider you unpleasant.
Or so cringingly timid that you're creepy.

first case:
most schizoid are indifferent about ppl, so it doesn't make sense why other may see some of us as unpleasant but for me many do and i don't blame them i am not sure about you but from my end i push ppl around me like friends, family ,etc weather its a joke , being rude , honest or whatever, i am toxicating some my not see it at first, but i am though i never know why until i found out that i am schizoid and i read some where that schizoid doesn't trust ppl so they push ppl that are close to them to their limit so they prove that they can't be trusted rationally, in order to not feel bad or guilty because they can't trust others
we rationalize that we can't truly trust others and then we try to prove it
(trust is not rational it is an emotion)

second case:
most social ppl can't stand someone indifferent to them the thought of you being indifferent and that you can't care less about them is an insult so when they should be indifferent to you they instead hate you weather they didn't understand that its not personal or not

fallenmen wrote:first case:
most schizoid are indifferent about ppl, so it doesn't make sense why other may see some of us as unpleasant but for me many do and i don't blame them i am not sure about you but from my end i push ppl around me like friends, family ,etc weather its a joke , being rude , honest or whatever, i am toxicating some my not see it at first, but i am though i never know why until i found out that i am schizoid and i read some where that schizoid doesn't trust ppl so they push ppl that are close to them to their limit so they prove that they can't be trusted rationally, in order to not feel bad or guilty because they can't trust others
we rationalize that we can't truly trust others and then we try to prove it

I think in my case people think of me as unpleasant because I am rude and don't really bother with, as smirks said, social pleasantries like saying hello, thank you, how are you?, yada yada yada.. I find it dishonest for some reason even though it is just polite behavior to say and do those things, it's strange I know. I just say whatever I came to say to you. Really straight to the point. People don't really feel comfortable with people that behave like that. I'm also a proud person, i don't like asking other people for help. It's more that I don't feel comfortable asking for help because it makes me look weak and I hate feeling weak or helpless. Defensiveness and paranoia are other things I have that make me generally unpleasant to be around. Those last two traits don't fit the schizoid mold yet I was still diagnosed by a psychologist with that disorder. I wonder if I withheld this information from the psychologist about myself or maybe I just wasn't aware of those traits. Sometimes I wonder if I was misdiagnosed. I almost forgot to mention that I have social anxiety too. Being aloof makes all kinds of bad impressions on people.

-- Thu Feb 02, 2017 7:50 pm --

fallenmen wrote:second case:
most social ppl can't stand someone indifferent to them the thought of you being indifferent and that you can't care less about them is an insult so when they should be indifferent to you they instead hate you weather they didn't understand that its not personal or not

So true.

No. On the contrary. People often see me as very nice, open and soft. I've always attracted many people with psychological problems for that reason. A lot of people turned to me in the past to open up about their mental strugglings. It was already like that during my teens. At some point, I was talking on an almost daily basis to three girls at once, one not even in the same class as me. She was a friend of one of the others, so we started talking as well at some point and I became a safe and secure base for her in some way, until at some day, she dragged me towards a silent corner of the library and showed me her self-harm scars, and decided to talk about it, to me. This is just one example. It's kinda much how things went with others as well. It was almost like I was the school counselor. But I never disliked it. I still like to listen to other's trouble, and to do my best to offer some help. This gravitated me towards a professional career in mental health care eventually. People just consider me very low-key and easy to talk to. I think my personality has a lot to do with it. People who get to know me soon come to realize I'm not impressed or shocked easily, so one can safely come up with even the weirdest or most shocking things. Whatever people come up with, I'm always just like ''Mkay...'' and keep everything open to talk about it or to offer my help. This provides people a secure base that gets them to open up to me I guess.

I don't think anyone is loved by everyone. I don't think the Chinese government thinks of the Dalai Lama as pleasant, while I can't think of anyone more enjoyable.

But I guess someone schizoid while being more open will have a tendency to attract opposition.

Thinking back about lectures, there are those people doodling in the textbooks, which they haven't read, solely occupied with attempts to align themselves with their peers – I found an inclination towards colloquialisms is a strong hint towards the need to belong, to be recognized.

And there are others who maybe doodle too, but to get the comic, you would have to read and understand chapter 6.

Problem:
Group one considers themselves smart.
Consequently the sole existence of group two is a threat to that conviction, which is kinda … unpleasant.

Solution:
Learn how to pet the ego of dumb people (joining into their colloquialisms is a good start) or
live with it.

Even if there is some back-channeling bimbo, trying to mobilize against you, you honestly can rejoice. What could be better than being the opposite of that? Also everyone he can mobilize disqualifies themselves without you having to test them somehow. Neat.

So it's maybe not about being pleasant to everyone but just being considered unpleasant by the right people.

Are you considered unpleasant by people you actually want to please?
What''s the problematic attitude you creepy dork.

ZonedOut wrote:It was almost like I was the school counselor.

Ya, had that too, until I realized I'm being fed on and nobody of these emo-tramps would be there for me if I needed someone to talk to.
But I still have a problem with that, because people get personal with me in a heartbeat and I sometimes don't know how I got there. Like I just have met them and 20 minutes later I know their phuking marital problems. Maybe people just don't know how to have a conversation anymore and when you suddenly find yourself having one, all dams break.

Sometimes people really like me, usually when they don't know me and their first interaction is something I'm positive about. Like if the first time I'm around someone we're talking about a subject that interests me, then I'll seem nice.

On the flip side, if you want to talk about the weather or something else useless or you're just interrupting my day I'll be indifferent or an asshole. I don't put on any show for you to feel good about yourself.

If I were a narcissist or interested in getting things from people I'd just put on the show the whole time, but I don't care. I'm authentic and just as likely to tell you to go ###$ yourself as say thank you. Huge problems can occur when people that are contextually used to seeing the "show" are exposed to me.

I get along well with most & they generally don't see me as unpleasant. Of course I don't tell people my real thoughts about them.