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What are your feelings towards sex?

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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby naps » Fri Sep 16, 2016 12:46 am

MotherRussia wrote:My suspicion (and I could be wrong) is that there are some kind of dopamine or adrenaline responses from those activities, which are at least partly behind the motivation to do them.


Probably the same as the ones that come from other vices, like gambling or stealing.

MotherRussia wrote:I'll take your word for it, you kinky beast.


You will take it. All the way. :twisted:
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby biteme » Fri Sep 16, 2016 1:48 am

Confusion mixed with desire, or desire with confusion.

I like orgasms and the feel of women's bodies, but I've never found sex particularly intimate. There is intimacy before and after maybe. I have a hard time focusing on the other person when I'm having sex. I mean I will meet her needs, since it's the polite thing to do, but during the act I often find myself fantasizing about it being a different encounter or even a different person. I'm currently married and haven't had sex in 5 years by my partner's choice but also my own unwillingness to try and bridge the gap between us in order to have sex again. I masturbate daily and it's just easier.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby GuyVinces » Mon Sep 19, 2016 10:08 pm

I've tried sex sometimes and it's boring. Onanism is boring too.

I could die without making both.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby UK SPD » Tue Sep 27, 2016 1:21 pm

I'm a 62 year old male diagnosed as SPD about four years ago.
The sex question is interesting.
In my late teens I was curious about sex until I did It, and thereafter was less interested.
I've always found other men's apparent obsession with sex strange. Actually, I find what many people do in sex, to get sex, and how it's a dominating motive, strange.
I don't understand why anyone should want to have sex with someone they don't know, so I've never had a 'casual' sexual encounter - three girlfriends lasting months each and two marriages. Both marriages were of reasonable duration, 15 years and 13 years, but that's probably more to do with the strength of social convention than with their really being satisfied in the relationship. Though I am 'romantically' loving, so that helps.
I've always preferred to masturbate, but recognised it's self-obsessiveness, and alienation from others. You can never shake guilt.
In fact, I never really got why anyone should want my private parts invading their personal body space.
It has been suggested that I might be gay, but I doubt it. I live in a city with a vibrant gay community and it has never interested me (however, I would never under estimate the power of self-deception).
I got the idea that I may be asexual very early on (when I looked the word up in a dictionary in my mid teens). The same applies to my thinking I might be a sociopath when I was about 19/20. SPD fits with both.
I have a lot of regrets. I'd like to change some fundamentals about me, but they're probably too deeply entrenched now. Being SPD is who I am as much as what I am.
Perhaps the schizoid part in SPD is all about constructing the me I want to present to the world.
Does anybody else tend to recreate themselves in a new social situation, and give yourself an invented background? I've done it several times over my life.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby laika » Wed Sep 28, 2016 6:12 am

Female here, age 25. I've always had a very high sex drive. I started masturbating when I was 7 and have done it regularly ever since. Most of my sexual urges I deal with through masturbation or daydreams, so up until recently never really had urges to do anything in real life. This is mostly due to the fact that I'm not good at interacting with people and am not attractive so I had no interest in trying to dress to impress or looking for a partner.

I always assumed if I lost my virginity it would be to someone I knew and felt comfortable with. I never thought I'd get into a relationship unless I was friends with that person first and it developed into more. I had no interest in flings or one night stands or short term relationships (I don't even like making friends if I probably won't be friends with them in a few years, I just can't be bothered putting that effort in and putting my trust in people).

Anyway, I lost my virginity about a month ago to my close friend and housemate. I didn't finish and he didn't last long, though there was a fair amount of foreplay. I was also stoned (which makes me hornier) and I have a hard time coming when I'm stoned. Although I was close to him and attracted to him, I didn't have any feelings for him so there wasn't any real emotional connection for me. I enjoyed it, but it was odd because I enjoyed the foreplay stuff much more and I mostly enjoyed him getting off during the sex, so I wasn't particularly disappointed I didn't come. I always thought it'd be more awkward and more of a big deal and I was surprised at how natural it was, like I could've been doing anything with him. Letting him touch me before we had sex was more of a big deal for me, like once I'd allowed the physical closeness there were no more barriers for me (normally I don't like physical contact and don't let people touch me at all).

That was the only time I've had sex and things haven't been great between us since so now my feelings towards sex are kind of weird. Like, on the one hand I still only want to have sex with people I feel close to but because of how things are now I don't think I'll ever be able to get close to anyone again in the fear that things would end up like they are. And on the other hand, it wasn't as huge as I expected it to be so I'm more open to the idea of sleeping with other people. I'm pretty confused about sex right now, tbh.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby stonecold66 » Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:18 am

i've been willing to try it
problem is finding a girl who'll do it with you
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby Maridia » Fri Oct 07, 2016 7:26 am

I'm very far from asexual, I masturbate frequently(5-10 times per week) but haven't had sex in like five years because casual sex is disgusting to me and romantic relationships don't feel like they're worth the effort.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby UK SPD » Sat Oct 08, 2016 9:27 am

That's an interesting point.
Am I still asexual if I masturbate?
I suppose there may be two ways to be asexual - let's call them hard-asexual and soft-asexual.
The hard-asexual still has sexual impulses but doesn't need/want to express them with others (even though they may 'love'), and therefore masturbates in preference to 'having' sex. (That's me, by the way.)
The soft-asexual has no (or very little) sexual impulse at all. A rarer case I'd have thought, and probably more physically caused than psycho-emotionally.

On second thoughts I may have got my hard and soft the wrong way round.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby Ashlar » Sat Oct 08, 2016 10:01 am

I think I'm more interested in the story than the act. Probably related to things I did when I was younger. Pursuing a girl until she wanted to sleep with you then backing out and withholding was definitely a thing I did. A bit sadistic I guess, which shows in so many other aspects of my life.
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Re: What are your feelings towards sex?

Postby Loophole » Sat Oct 08, 2016 10:28 am

UK SPD wrote:That's an interesting point.
Am I still asexual if I masturbate?

Actually, asexuality has nothing to do with masturbation. An asexual person is defined as someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction. As long as you're not sexually attracted to other people/want to have sex with them, you fit into the description. In itself, masturbation is not even linked with sexual attraction.
“For, after all, how do we know that two and two make four? Or that the force of gravity works? Or that the past is unchangeable? If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable – what then?”
George Orwell
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