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Who genuinely knows you?

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Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Mikhailcaesar » Wed Mar 23, 2016 11:04 pm

So you have a personality disorder, perfectly cabapable of being understood but do people properly know you? Know how you will react, know what you are interested in, what pleases you, what displeases you? etc.

I've been close and honest with two people in my life and I don't speak to either of them anymore. It ended on bad terms. I didn't like either of them and could say these were the people I actually hated. But I think miscommunication really was the downfall.

I don't want this to turn into another cliched post but I'm always labelled weird, quiet, shy, you know the words, like I said I'm not going cliche with this. And theres the other things about relationships with people "you've just not found the right group", "find the right person", "when you go out you'll meet the people you like". Pfffftt...

So does anyone here have anyone who genuinely knows them? Who knows they are apathetic, asexual, shallow or whatever trait is most prominent because the only person I honestly speak to is my sister and if I say something from my perspective she comes with all this bull about me being depressed, deliberately pushing myself away, easily offended and all this malarkey. And she just... doesn't... get it. The women in my family are insane. Literally insane, borderline personality doesn't even being to describe it. A great portion of my childhood was like Stephen King's Misery. On the contrast the men are either withdrawn and apathetic and/or sociopaths but still my sister looks at me as this anxious child. I can only assume she's are judging me from and egocentric and emotional outlook. But it seems too many people do this and it only increases my cynicism. Ignorance is not bliss.

(I write all these extra things because I'm wondering if people have have similar backgrounds and if things like this may work as a predecessor but bottom line is, do you have anyone who genuinely knows you?)
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby I Dream 5 » Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:46 am

Mikhailcaesar wrote:So you have a personality disorder, perfectly cabapable of being understood but do people properly know you? Know how you will react, know what you are interested in, what pleases you, what displeases you? etc.

I've been close and honest with two people in my life and I don't speak to either of them anymore. It ended on bad terms. I didn't like either of them and could say these were the people I actually hated. But I think miscommunication really was the downfall.

I don't want this to turn into another cliched post but I'm always labelled weird, quiet, shy, you know the words, like I said I'm not going cliche with this. And theres the other things about relationships with people "you've just not found the right group", "find the right person", "when you go out you'll meet the people you like". Pfffftt...

So does anyone here have anyone who genuinely knows them? Who knows they are apathetic, asexual, shallow or whatever trait is most prominent because the only person I honestly speak to is my sister and if I say something from my perspective she comes with all this bull about me being depressed, deliberately pushing myself away, easily offended and all this malarkey. And she just... doesn't... get it. The women in my family are insane. Literally insane, borderline personality doesn't even being to describe it. A great portion of my childhood was like Stephen King's Misery. On the contrast the men are either withdrawn and apathetic and/or sociopaths but still my sister looks at me as this anxious child. I can only assume she's are judging me from and egocentric and emotional outlook. But it seems too many people do this and it only increases my cynicism. Ignorance is not bliss.

(I write all these extra things because I'm wondering if people have have similar backgrounds and if things like this may work as a predecessor but bottom line is, do you have anyone who genuinely knows you?)


I haven't had many close friends in my lifetime. Right now, my parents are the ones who know me best. Even they would not GENUINELY know me because of my tendency to go off and be doing my own thing with my own thoughts that I don't share. So...they do know me fairly well....but I wouldn't say they REALLY genuinely know me. I don't think they can really relate to a lot of things due to my SPD.

In being honest with myself...I'm just not that easy to get close to. Having SPD does make getting close to me difficult. I have a pretty good feel for when someone would like to get closer...they just don't know how...and I can't blame them. I feel bad for them when they can't when they truely would like to. I wish I could make it easier for them...I just don't know how. It's one of those "what could have been" things. I have no way of knowing that. That just isn't the reality of my condition.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby creepydork » Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:55 am

The person that comes closest to fully knowing me and maybe even understanding me is my sister. There is literally no else that has come close. I don't think it's possible for anyone to truly know someone else. There are alot of things that go unsaid in relationships, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I've noticed that different people might not see you as you see yourself, they see you how they want to see you. They might take one trait of yours and amplify it and that trait is all they see or they might not even bother with you and they just take someone else's idea of you and apply that instead of making their own opinion of you.

Anyway, I don't think it's a bad thing that nobody truly knows anybody. It keeps things ocasionally interesting.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Marble Rye » Thu Mar 24, 2016 3:50 am

My therapist. Not completely, but pretty damn close.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby lindi » Thu Mar 24, 2016 5:49 am

Even my mother doesn't know me as well as she damn well should. I think it's a case of seeing what she wants to see and some projection of her own very emotional and co-dependetish (she's a huge people pleaser) personality.
My brother might sometimes understand me better, because he's similar in some ways (even seems to have SPD traits - some of them stronger than mine!), but then again he knows less details about what I think etc, 'cause we're not talkative with each other.
Other people don't really stand a chance.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby xykr » Thu Mar 24, 2016 9:25 am

I don't think anyone really does. Certain random people on the Internet actually probably have a better picture of my day to day life than anybody I personally interact with, including family. This is mainly because my extended family in general is not close with each other at all, and my immediate family is quite distant also.

My mother I did not live with and have only visited one time after age 6 when my parents were divorced. Last I have heard of her she doesn't feel she is capable of functioning as a parent due to her mental illness, and I remember so little of the time in my childhood that I lived with her that I don't really have any motivation to want to have contact with her if she doesn't want it either.

At age 9 my father put me in a boarding school and then shortly after a year round school/children's home until I became an adult and I've not really been all that close to him since then. Still, today he is the family member I am closest to, for what it's worth.

At the same time he moved me and him across the country while my older sister stayed where she was to finish her last 2 years of high school. We were never really all that close that I remember, but after that time she was always involved in her own life and now is married with 3 kids. She doesn't seem to be terribly interested in contact with me and I am obviously not disposed to taking the initiative.

I was home schooled until 3rd grade, and once I entered school 95% of the time I either had one friend and maybe a couple vague associations with others, or for some stretches actually no friends at all. I was only ever picked on significantly in elementary school, but I am very good at being ignored and that was basically my experience in the rest of school. I did have one somewhat close friend via work for a few years, though we didn't really talk about anything that personal and it mostly just revolved around playing video games and stuff. But we drifted apart over the years and I now live 2000 miles away.

I did have one girlfriend for about 9 months about a decade ago. But even then I was not totally open with all my thoughts and in the end she probably wanted more from it than I did.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby madjoe » Thu Mar 24, 2016 11:26 am

no one ofc
and that's how i like it
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby I Dream 5 » Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:00 am

xykr wrote:I don't think anyone really does. Certain random people on the Internet actually probably have a better picture of my day to day life than anybody I personally interact with, including family. This is mainly because my extended family in general is not close with each other at all, and my immediate family is quite distant also.

My mother I did not live with and have only visited one time after age 6 when my parents were divorced. Last I have heard of her she doesn't feel she is capable of functioning as a parent due to her mental illness, and I remember so little of the time in my childhood that I lived with her that I don't really have any motivation to want to have contact with her if she doesn't want it either.

At age 9 my father put me in a boarding school and then shortly after a year round school/children's home until I became an adult and I've not really been all that close to him since then. Still, today he is the family member I am closest to, for what it's worth.

At the same time he moved me and him across the country while my older sister stayed where she was to finish her last 2 years of high school. We were never really all that close that I remember, but after that time she was always involved in her own life and now is married with 3 kids. She doesn't seem to be terribly interested in contact with me and I am obviously not disposed to taking the initiative.

I was home schooled until 3rd grade, and once I entered school 95% of the time I either had one friend and maybe a couple vague associations with others, or for some stretches actually no friends at all. I was only ever picked on significantly in elementary school, but I am very good at being ignored and that was basically my experience in the rest of school. I did have one somewhat close friend via work for a few years, though we didn't really talk about anything that personal and it mostly just revolved around playing video games and stuff. But we drifted apart over the years and I now live 2000 miles away.

I did have one girlfriend for about 9 months about a decade ago. But even then I was not totally open with all my thoughts and in the end she probably wanted more from it than I did.


I have to agree....random people right here on this message board know more about me than anybody I come across in my daily life (outside of my immediate family). Though, there are things I've shared on here that they would not know of me.

This is a great board. I appreciate having this forum here. We are like a small community of Schizoids on this board. I don't mind having this outlet to share things with other Schizoids.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Dalloway » Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:12 pm

I think about 3 people try to. But despite me not holding back when it comes to them, they seem to have a hard time. When we talk about a book for example, I have a good grasp on what they think about it without them telling me. The other way around it´s quite another case. They say I seem to consider parts and pieces they didn´t notice in the first place, so it´s rather impossible to make conclusions.

I´m very sceptical when it comes to praise. Maybe it´s a question of how intense you´re accustomed to involve yourself with a topic or it´s just an excuse to circumvent effort or both.

I think most humans, even if they had all information, are too involved with themselves to have a picture that I would descibe as "genuinely knowing" something.
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby GaryMysterio » Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:05 am

2 people, maybe 3. All of them childhood friends who I have told about this whole schizoid thing. My family knows nothing about me, my coworkers know nothing about me, but I do have genuine friends who I actually care about. Which is probably more than most schizoids can say
There's one other person who knows about my difficulty with feeling emotion, but not the term "schizoid"... I covet her. But I am what I am and I don't try.
First we feel. Then we fall.
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