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Who genuinely knows you?

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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Trader Will » Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:46 am

Not one person. My family knows I am a bit of a hermit and that is all.
Control what you can; Endure what you must.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby UK SPD » Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:55 am

I'm not even sure that I genuinely know me.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Holodeck » Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:14 am

Jeez I don't know if genuinely is the right word...I kinda feel like they'd have to right my mind from birth till now for that sort of thing.

The people who know me better than most would be my psychologist, my boyfriend, and a couple of coworkers who I see as sorta friends (both who actually have rather strong schizoid tendencies.)
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Ashlar » Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:59 pm

I had one grandmother who eventually developed severe alzheimers and recently died that seemed to know me. I also have a grandfather on the other side of my family that died that didn't quite understand me, but he supported me a lot.

As a child she took me aside a lot. I didn't think about it but she would drink a LOT of wine. We would spend a ton of hours just rattling on into the night about people. My mother, my father, my uncle, my grandfather. She made it clear what criticisms she had about them, and how her life sucked. She was very nice to me, and I cared about her quite a bit.

In her old age with alzheimers I remember a moment where she "regretted" all that. Like she felt bad that I had become what I had become. Specifically I think she felt like it was her fault I didn't become some normal person that gets married and has kids because she had kinda educated me that my father's sins were that he was so motivated to put his dick in something that he ignored all reason. In reality it isn't her fault, I woulda ended up this way either way, but I can see what was going on in her head. That's sort of the secret, isn't it? Even when her mind was lost I could still communicate with her better than anyone because I knew the underlying causes. I wish I could have saved her last few years from my uncle.

Regarding the grandfather that supported me a bit, he got me my first computer, my first car, etc. He put me in a military cadet program for a while. He also seemed kinda schizoidy in some ways since he seemed to have no friends and his relationship with his wife was weird. They were catholic, always slept in separate beds but lived together. Yet in his case I think something else was going on. He grew up as a rural farm boy, got into the army (apparently had a cousin or something that was an admiral), went to work in the post office, somehow met my grandmother on like a set up date, got married, had two daughters, was always annoyed he didn't have a son. My mother has some kind of issues with him... I think she exaggerates it a bit. He didn't like that she started smoking, then smoking weed as a teenager. She hung around delinquents, met my dad, got knocked up by my dad, hense me. I can see both sides easily. I mean, my dad was a piece of $#%^, and that's obvious, but my mom was absolutely not the kind of girl that was going to wait around for someone her father approved of. But that grandfather was pretty happy to have grandsons. He bought us a lot of things, was very nice a lot of the time, yet I experienced some of the same kind of criticism my mother did when I went against his vision. Specifically in the military cadet program I got super jaded by finding out I had 24 year old "officers" sleeping with the 16 year old female cadets and that was why the girls got promoted in front of me. I don't know what he expected to happen exactly. A cadet program that preached integrity that was full of manipulation and favoritism jaded me.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:31 pm

UK SPD wrote:I'm not even sure that I genuinely know me.


This is how I feel.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby blank » Wed Jul 19, 2017 10:24 pm

^^ I often feel the same way. But, anyone that would know me best? Probably two people.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby zeno » Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:40 pm

A couple of people know me well in certain ways, a couple other people know me well in other ways. It's unusual that it's only "a couple of people", but I don't think it's unusual that "no one really knows me". Each person knows the things about me that are relevant in the context where they know me from / where I interact with them.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby 2093 » Tue Aug 22, 2017 7:45 pm

Nobody of course (although mother thinks she does). As I child I had a few friends of the same sex, but there was never a real connection in those friendships nor a lot of emotions involved.

The closest I came to being genuinely known is in an interaction with an online friend, who even knows a little about my schizoid condition.
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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby Tyler » Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:26 pm

My boyfriend, that's it. No one knows of my disorder, other than my mother (who will argue that I'm not mentally ill), but my boyfriend knows of my mental illness, he knows my likes, dislikes, things I'm afraid of, knows the dark pieces of my past, knows my plans for the future, knows me for me.
Email me if you want a donut

We're all gonna die if we don't keep living
At the end of everything, hold onto anything


Diagnosed: Schizoaffective Disorder Bi-polar type Rapid Cycling.

Medication: Geodone 160 MG, Lexipro 5 MG.

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Re: Who genuinely knows you?

Postby muaddib » Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:26 am

Nobody in this world, though the dynamics are interesting. There are a few people I've felt comfortable around enough to share pretty personal things, but that really didn't bring us closer. At the same time, I've had friends that I never felt entirely comfortable opening up around, yet because we genuinely depended on each other in some way, I feel like somehow they've came closer to understanding me than anyone else.
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