Understanding Schizoids

so im a schizoid with ASP tendencies.
its not that im bad at socializing (im rather good actually), bad looking (im proud of my 8 pack), or lazy (i like to think i have a good work ethic), its just that i prefer not to, and ill list my main two reason below.

1) simple disgust. i don't like most people. either because they are stupid, or they simply cant think for themselves. for me intelligence, self reliance, emotional discipline, and a good work ethic are everything. if someone doesn't have at least two of these traits, i generally see them as a waste of my time. people who will never intrigue me, help me achieve my goals, or truly control their lives. therefore since i see them as infinitely inferior to myself, i can never truly treat them as equals. only as pawns to be used.

2) fear/paranoia. don't really know which one. but i have never been able to "open up" to people because im afraid that they will either use that info against me someday, or just run away screaming. because of this i can never get close to someone, and therefore i can never receive the same amount of support from relationships as normal people, and it becomes stressful and difficult to keep everything important about myself from friends/lovers. its just much more un-stressful, cost effective, and easy to ditch relationships altogether and rely mostly on myself.

TL;DR: i don't like people and don't trust them, so i don't socialize. why don't you?

I'm just crap at it.

I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I just can't think of anything to say to them. And I'm not really interested in the things other people seem to be interested in (i.e. who is screwing whom, which sports team won, what happened on X reality show or who won Y talent show, what little Johnny said to his preschool teacher, pop music, etc.)

And even if they happened to be interested in what I was interested in at that very moment, I still wouldn't want to talk about it because being noticed would throw me off.

And I get that small talk is all about social grooming and not what anyone is actually interested in. But I just don't have the time or energy for it very often unless absolutely necessary.

wickerwoman wrote:I'm just crap at it.

I don't think I'm better than anyone else, I just can't think of anything to say to them. And I'm not really interested in the things other people seem to be interested in (i.e. who is screwing whom, which sports team won, what happened on X reality show or who won Y talent show, what little Johnny said to his preschool teacher, pop music, etc.)

And even if they happened to be interested in what I was interested in at that very moment, I still wouldn't want to talk about it because being noticed would throw me off.

And I get that small talk is all about social grooming and not what anyone is actually interested in. But I just don't have the time or energy for it very often unless absolutely necessary.

i getcha. do you ever get paranoid that people will use your secrets against you though? and does socializing tire you out?

if its just that you are socially awkward id recommend getting out there. relationships are the best things out there... or so i hear.

also working out is really good. even though i dont get out much i stay in peak physical condition, both for my health, and so that its easier to talk to people.

I tell everyone everything, so nothing can be used against me as blackmail. (NPD)

Plus, the more people I talk to, the more people I can get to do things for me, and to compliment me, and most importantly, to like my selfies on FB.

IDK.

This was really interesting to read, because I so totally DON'T relate to most of it, as somebody who is *so incredibly* extraverted.

Dawson wrote:I tell everyone everything, so nothing can be used against me as blackmail. (NPD)

Plus, the more people I talk to, the more people I can get to do things for me, and to compliment me, and most importantly, to like my selfies on FB.

IDK.

This was really interesting to read, because I so totally DON'T relate to most of it, as somebody who is *so incredibly* extraverted.

one of my favorite things to do is to find people who are the opposite of me and see what its like. if i cant experience it personally at least i can understand why those people think the way they do.

Icarus wrote:so im a schizoid with ASP tendencies.
its not that im bad at socializing (im rather good actually), bad looking (im proud of my 8 pack), or lazy (i like to think i have a good work ethic), its just that i prefer not to, and ill list my main two reason below.

1) simple disgust. i don't like most people. either because they are stupid, or they simply cant think for themselves. for me intelligence, self reliance, emotional discipline, and a good work ethic are everything. if someone doesn't have at least two of these traits, i generally see them as a waste of my time. people who will never intrigue me, help me achieve my goals, or truly control their lives. therefore since i see them as infinitely inferior to myself, i can never truly treat them as equals. only as pawns to be used.

2) fear/paranoia. don't really know which one. but i have never been able to "open up" to people because im afraid that they will either use that info against me someday, or just run away screaming. because of this i can never get close to someone, and therefore i can never receive the same amount of support from relationships as normal people, and it becomes stressful and difficult to keep everything important about myself from friends/lovers. its just much more un-stressful, cost effective, and easy to ditch relationships altogether and rely mostly on myself.

TL;DR: i don't like people and don't trust them, so i don't socialize. why don't you?

Ultimately schizoids are just afraid of other people, and this can manifest in any number of ways. Being highly critical and judgmental is a classic, of course.

I don't do anything particularly interesting that could be used against me. And I'd find the thought of such activity so boring, that it's hard to imagine someone would bother to do that. I don't have enough energy to worry about this stuff. And what exactly would they use against me? and to prevent me from what? I am not running for president.

I tell people few things because I don't expect them to care. I just don't see why it would be interesting to anyone. A part of my life I keep to myself instinctively, but I am sure people would forget all of it almost as soon as they hear it.

Is your only SPD symptom that you don't like or trust people?

I don't care about other peoples personality traits unless they're somehow bothering me because of those traits. I don't socialize because I find it unrewarding, uncomfortable, and/or stressful. I don't trust people because they generally don't pass the test when it comes to what I consider to be trustworthiness, if they did, I might. I'm very aware of the fact that I'm socially inferior in just about every sense.

shailene wrote:Is your only SPD symptom that you don't like or trust people?

I don't care about other peoples personality traits unless they're somehow bothering me because of those traits. I don't socialize because I find it unrewarding, uncomfortable, and/or stressful. I don't trust people because they generally don't pass the test when it comes to what I consider to be trustworthiness, if they did, I might. I'm very aware of the fact that I'm socially inferior in just about every sense.

again im a schizoid with AsP tendencies, so i dont truly belong in either camp.

its sort of paradoxical, im very charming and good with people, but at the same time don't like most of them, or trust any of them. so for the most part i just see relationships as a waste of time.

also i feel like im very empathetic, actually feeling what other people feel, and understanding them as a result; but having absolutely no sympathy for them. instead i tend to use my understanding of their feelings to my advantage.

does that make sense?

1. I don't like most people because something about them bothers me too much. I have some pet peeves but sometimes I can't even explain what it is, or it can be basically anything... Whatever it is, it usually bothers me more afterwards than during the actual social interaction.
Every now and then I feel like other people are my punishment, and this makes me feel guilt. I become very aware of this sequence of thoughts and feelings and social interaction becomes more difficult because I have to pretend, which makes me
2. Paranoid. And if I have to wear a mask for them, then who knows what masks they wear. Maybe they also see through mine. It has happened, but usually it's time to move on before that.
It's a vicious circle really, presented in a simplified way. If I have to continue interaction I usually avoid having to pretend by asking people questions about their life or whatever is important to them, that way they forget to ask anything from me.