Schizoid Vs. "normal" introvert

EtherealStarlight wrote:

OneRinger wrote:I am pretty much like that. Not sure why people got so upset.

it seems that telling someone that they're not reeeeeeeeeeeally a schizoid is some kind of grave insult on here. it's probably the only time when people are insulted by someone else telling them that they're not personality-disordered, but yeah.

I am schizoid therefore ...

I can have mo friends
I can have no hobbies
??...

Please complete the list

nprkntlny wrote:Now I'm just waiting for the usual posts of people saying "I'm alone all the time - except for my family, but they don't count. And my co-workers. And my therapist. And some people I go to the pub with. But none of those people count. I'm basically alone."

I believe you are both correct and incorrect when you say this. I believe you are correct because, indeed, a schizoid will never be 100% truly alone. They will always be surrounded by people at some point of the day, they may even decide to interact with them a bit.

But I think the difference is, the schizoid will hardly, if ever, emotionally compromise with these interactions. That is, they may spend time with family and like it, but the amount that they'll enjoy it will be much lower than the average person and they'll most likely be seeking solitude soon enough; co-workers may be seen in a professional way, someone you do acknowledge to have to work with but you will probably not engage in chit-chat with them, at least not one you enjoy; a therapist is seen just as professionally: someone who is there to help you with whatever problems you have, not someone you go to to just spend time and hear about how their day has been; and personally, I have no experience with going with people to pubs so I can't speak on that.

TL;DR: A schizoid will interact with people by emotionally opening themselves much more rarely than the average person, or even just an introvert. They may put on a mask to come off as socially correct, but most of the time it is just that: a façade. By the time they've got back home, they probably won't care less about who they've spent their day with.

Vink wrote:I believe you are both correct and incorrect when you say this. I believe you are correct because, indeed, a schizoid will never be 100% truly alone. They will always be surrounded by people at some point of the day, they may even decide to interact with them a bit.

But I think the difference is, the schizoid will hardly, if ever, emotionally compromise with these interactions. That is, they may spend time with family and like it, but the amount that they'll enjoy it will be much lower than the average person and they'll most likely be seeking solitude soon enough; co-workers may be seen in a professional way, someone you do acknowledge to have to work with but you will probably not engage in chit-chat with them, at least not one you enjoy; a therapist is seen just as professionally: someone who is there to help you with whatever problems you have, not someone you go to to just spend time and hear about how their day has been; and personally, I have no experience with going with people to pubs so I can't speak on that.

TL;DR: A schizoid will interact with people by emotionally opening themselves much more rarely than the average person, or even just an introvert. They may put on a mask to come off as socially correct, but most of the time it is just that: a façade. By the time they've got back home, they probably won't care less about who they've spent their day with.

That is basically correct. What any given schizoid chooses within their lifestyle is down to the individual, but the symptoms remain the same. I used to have dozens of friends and acquaintances at one time, because it was practical and useful. I didn't feel much for them at all. They were objects to me. I've also had periods of 0 outside contact. I'm not more or less schizoid in either case. In fact I find I feel way more schizoid if I do interact with others, because it's so blatant that I'm just not feeling "it".

Personally, as a Schizoid --- I agree with your description 100%....because this is exactly how I feel and how I behave. However, since I cannot and do want to try to speak for all SPDs....I am only speaking about myself.

Over the years, I have learned how to develop and nurture my Schizoid personality and have turned being Schizoid into a fine art! Furthermore, as Schizoids --- we are only 1% of the human population--- and I am even rarer because as a female schizoid our numbers are even less --- I consider myself to be a rare and potentially endangered species that needs to be protected. So I have arranged my life so that I am protected from things and people that want to upset my Schizoid existence or try to make me change. So far...everything has been worked out just fine! Where there is a will, there is a way!

As far as communicating here on this forum is concerned....it is something I do only when and if I feel like it --- no obligation, no quotas, no expectations ----and a special bonus --- no real or imagined emotional relationships with this forum or any of its members! ------ Perfect.

NonSufferingSchizoid wrote:Personally, as a Schizoid --- I agree with your description 100%....because this is exactly how I feel and how I behave. However, since I cannot and do want to try to speak for all SPDs....I am only speaking about myself.

Over the years, I have learned how to develop and nurture my Schizoid personality and have turned being Schizoid into a fine art! Furthermore, as Schizoids --- we are only 1% of the human population--- and I am even rarer because as a female schizoid our numbers are even less --- I consider myself to be a rare and potentially endangered species that needs to be protected. So I have arranged my life so that I am protected from things and people that want to upset my Schizoid existence or try to make me change. So far...everything has been worked out just fine! Where there is a will, there is a way!

As far as communicating here on this forum is concerned....it is something I do only when and if I feel like it --- no obligation, no quotas, no expectations ----and a special bonus --- no real or imagined emotional relationships with this forum or any of its members! ------ Perfect.

You're in so much denial it's almost amusing. Almost.

NonSufferingSchizoid wrote: Over the years, I have learned how to develop and nurture my Schizoid personality and have turned being Schizoid into a fine art! Furthermore, as Schizoids --- we are only 1% of the human population--- and I am even rarer because as a female schizoid our numbers are even less --- I consider myself to be a rare and potentially endangered species that needs to be protected. So I have arranged my life so that I am protected from things and people that want to upset my Schizoid existence or try to make me change. So far...everything has been worked out just fine! Where there is a will, there is a way!

I think you're on to something here. As a member of a rare and potentially endangered species, you should contact the authorities and ask for protection. You'll persuade them by showing what fine art's all about. They cannot resist, since you're a female as well.

lindi wrote:

Feleanoctis wrote:as a person who is diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder, it troubles me when someone declares they found the ultimate truth about all schizoids.
actually no, scratch that, i don't care.

This. I kept reading through the OP like "nope, nope, nope... ". Even the diagnostic criteria says that schizoids can have a few close friends, care about immediate family and so on... while there's nothing about non-existing emotions (only flattened affect) and you don't need to check all the boxes anyway. I'm really curious if there are actually people who want to be alone 24/7 every single day of the year, don't go outside their home even for a walk (and apparently get their groceries delivered to their door etc), dread every phone call... well, I would imagine that kind of people would also dread writing on the internet.

I would venture to guess that there is a vast difference between not seeking social interaction and staying at home locked up 24/7 and not even going out to get your own groceries. To me that seems far beyond schizoid and into some really serious anxiety if a person can't even function.

EtherealStarlight wrote:

OneRinger wrote:I am pretty much like that. Not sure why people got so upset.

it seems that telling someone that they're not reeeeeeeeeeeally a schizoid is some kind of grave insult on here. it's probably the only time when people are insulted by someone else telling them that they're not personality-disordered, but yeah.

oddly enough, the dsm definition seems to leave quite a bit of leeway for being able to define someone as schizoid. as long as you have four or more symptoms, your behavior isn't better described by a different disorder, it's been a long-lasting pattern since early adulthood or earlier, and your behavior is causing problems for you or other people, you count!

This is just a funny symptom of human interaction. This is marked as a Schizoid forum, so to those who want to be part of it, questioning their schizoid status might be seen as an insult, or alternatively a means of being outcasted from the group. The fact that someone on a Schizoid board would have an issue with that is funny, but it is what it is.

I am wondering if people around here know what it's like to go years without having a personal conversation on the phone,
months without personal text messages from someone you know in real life,
years without someone coming into your home, actually you've only had friends over a handful of times from birth to adulthood,
not talking to family for months on end, actually it would be years if you could get away with it

I do meet a lot of schizoid criteria, but I still feel that y'all are not as isolated as me
I see OPs point

I would venture to guess that there is a vast difference between not seeking social interaction and staying at home locked up 24/7 and not even going out to get your own groceries. To me that seems far beyond schizoid and into some really serious anxiety if a person can't even function.

I've never done it but I've thought about doing it. I don't have social anxiety at all and I'm more than capable of socializing when needed. My social skills are outstanding for a schizoid (key words: for a schizoid)
Having someone deliver my groceries just sounds very convenient to me

eye182 wrote:I am wondering if people around here know what it's like to go years without having a personal conversation on the phone,
months without personal text messages from someone you know in real life,
years without someone coming into your home, actually you've only had friends over a handful of times from birth to adulthood,
not talking to family for months on end, actually it would be years if you could get away with it

I do meet a lot of schizoid criteria, but I still feel that y'all are not as isolated as me

I can relate. Personal conversations over the phone? Never had. Not even once in my lifetime. Months without personal text messages? I don't have a smart phone, and I don't even have my mobile phone on, even though I'm always carrying it with me. It's purposed to be used only in case of an emergency. Only had friends over a handful of times from birth to adulthood? Check. Actually not even sure if I can call them friends. I've always seen them more as 'close acquaintances', I guess. At this moment, I have one such 'close acquaintance'. I meet him about four times a year. This contact, together with weekly scheduled appointments with therapists and a scheduled once-weekly contact with some other patients at my treatment facility are the only social contacts I currently look for intentionally. Not talking to family for months on end? Fortunately not. I can't get away with that, obviously because I still live with my parents. I minimize contact however (not actively, it just happens), as I'm pretty much locked up in my own room 24/7. I only get downstairs to eat, basically. Years without someone coming into my home? Currently not applicable, as I still live with my parents, but I can imagine that happening when I eventually live on my own. Except from my parents maybe. I think I would start to have some feelings of guilt if I cut off contact with them completely. They may have screwed up a lot of things, but they have never had any bad intentions. It's just a matter of impotence. They did their best within the limits of their own mental health.

Even though it might look so, I don't think I will become a total hermit. Maybe when I get old. For now, I plan to get a job eventually, providing this will eventually be possible within the limitations of my current problems. If not, I think I will do some volunteering instead. I don't see any point in deliberately isolating myself to the extreme. This would eventually be counterproductive.

When someone claims to be isolated, I always wonder how isolated that person actually is. Even though I have close to zero personal contacts, I still come in contact with people on a regular basis. I go out for an occasional walk through the city center, just to come into contact with people without real interaction being required. Apart from that, I still pay my groceries to a living person, I show people the way when they ask how to get somewhere and of course, there are still contacts I just can't escape. So, altogether, I'm still pretty much connected.