Love for my kid
Aesthetic pleasure
Amusement
Annoyance
Anxiety
Peacefulness
Dezzi wrote:I am surprised you can all pinpoint the emotions so well.
I suppose for me it is irritation/annoyance and anxiety sometimes. I do not think I am angry but rather irritated/agitated/annoyed. I also cannot really relate to the concept of fear too much, which is why anxiety never sounded appropriate but for the lack of a better word I suppose this is what comes close enough.
I just feel so crowded and it annoys me.
under ice wrote:Aesthetic pleasure
roscid wrote:Yes, yes, yes. Agree completely. Interesting how irritation/annoyance is so common among schizoids. That feeling of crowdedness must be a major factor.
roscid wrote:under ice wrote:Aesthetic pleasure
That's a good one. I feel that as well but it is difficult to quantify how intensely I feel it; I can't seem to describe it as either "strong" or "weak."
under ice wrote:Love for my kid
Dezzi wrote:One question, if it isn't too personal: Are you able to show it as well?
under ice wrote:Dezzi wrote:One question, if it isn't too personal: Are you able to show it as well?
Yes, never had any problem. I feel something similar for my nephews, but not as strong and I deal with them in a rational way, showing my feelings in indirect ways. I'd like to be able to express my love for them but the words won't come out.
Dezzi wrote:under ice wrote:Dezzi wrote:One question, if it isn't too personal: Are you able to show it as well?
Yes, never had any problem. I feel something similar for my nephews, but not as strong and I deal with them in a rational way, showing my feelings in indirect ways. I'd like to be able to express my love for them but the words won't come out.
Interesting. I thought about how it would be having a kid someday. And I must say that - at least for now - I do not think I would be able to show it, even if I felt it. I think that kid would suffer from a distant mom. So for me, I came to the conclusion, that it would be irresponsible having a kid.
However, seeing your post, makes me wonder if that automatically changes once you actually have a kid...
under ice wrote:In a way I'm distant, but I'm not rejecting, just absent-minded. At home I tend to zone out a lot, especially if I'm tired. Overcoming this consumes my energy, and then I'm even more prone to be mentally absent. My tendency to procrastinate is also a bit problematic, I disliked tight schedules in free time but I've had to learn to follow a regular rhythm. Ever since I separated from the dad I've felt that I've been unable to provide enough social contacts. We have no relatives in this part of the country and I only keep in touch with very few of them at any rate. These are my shortcomings. As a result, our life is rather quiet and slow-paced, but not completely without stimuli or social contacts. We share similar interests (music, books) and similar sense of humor. Since I go to work I have enough variation in life.
The hardest part for me was the beginning. Suddenly you are sharing your whole life with a baby, taking care of a person who loves and trusts you 100%. I'm glad I wasn't alone then. It didn't change me automatically... the love for a child keeps growing all the time and has many undertones. Sometimes I've felt really tired and frustrated too, but she's the most interesting and intriguing person ever, so I guess it's worth it after all.
Oh and it was nothing like I had imagined. I suppose it's impossible to predict what will happen naturally and what won't when it comes to parenthood.
EtherealStarlight wrote:i don't have any trouble at all feeling negative emotions, though. just positive ones.
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