Our partner

My Violent Thoughts More Bipolar or Schizoaffective?

Schizoaffective Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

My Violent Thoughts More Bipolar or Schizoaffective?

Postby HomericVoice » Fri Jul 01, 2016 3:10 pm

Hello everyone. I'm seeing a new doctor soon, but in the meantime, I want your opinion on something.

I have previously been diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2. I get very depressed at times, and I get very irritated at times, and I go on spending sprees, etc. I have no doubt that some kind of bipolar affects my mind. However...

A few weeks ago, I started having what I can only call intrusive (violent, homicidal) thoughts.

(Trigger warning maybe)

These thoughts just popped in my head with no provocation or cause.

--I should break my cat's neck.
--I should drive across the country with no notice, go to my brother's house, and kill him.
--I should go to my parents' house five hours away--with no notice--and kill them.
--I should surprise my girlfriend, show up at her door, and kill her.

(End of trigger)

I love all of these things more than anything on the planet. They did not provoke me in any way. It was like there were two parts of my brain--one that was horrified and knew these thoughts were pathological. Then there was another part of my brain that was almost amused by these thoughts, by the thought of surprising these people with death.

These thoughts are over, but I want them addressed as you can understand. They made me feel so evil, though I know they are somehow connected to whatever's going on in my brain.

Usually when I feel homicidal thoughts, they are the result of irritation just snowballing and snowballing into murderous rage. These new thoughts came out of *nowhere*.

What do you think? Does this sound like a schizo thing or could bipolar explain this too?

Again, I am seeing a doctor next week, but I just want to hear some different opinions/experiences.
HomericVoice
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 27
Joined: Wed Oct 14, 2015 4:36 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 11:48 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: My Violent Thoughts More Bipolar or Schizoaffective?

Postby voracious_lemon » Fri Jul 01, 2016 6:06 pm

Those are definitely what are called "intrusive thoughts." Many people get them and they're not indicative of anything on the schizophrenia spectrum. They're extremely common and occur in people without any mental illness at all, but if they're to the point that they cause you anxiety and interfere with your life, it suggests some form of anxiety disorder, and very common in OCD. If this is the case, your pdoc will be very helpful in forming a plan to deal with it.
Best of luck
All I saw was the Devil's soul
And it looked a helluva lot like my own
voracious_lemon
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1154
Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 5:54 pm
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 11:48 pm
Blog: View Blog (10)


Return to Schizoaffective Disorder




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests