New to forum: experiencing new symptoms

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (depressive type) a couple of years ago. Since early adulthood, I was considered to have Pshychotic Depression.

From November 2012 until about 10 days ago I was asymptomatic. Now I am showing signs of negative symptoms... scary memory problems, stuttering when confronted with the least bit of stress or if I think the topic/situation MIGHT cause stress, I am anxious most of the time, my sleep pattern is way off from what is normal for me. I am not sure what is real and what I dreamed. I am afraid I may be delusional, but I don't know for sure. I am in no way depressed.

Is this the continuation of my illness, or have I progressed into something else? This is the second time in a row that I have had psychotic-related symptoms with no depression. Is this normal?

I posted on another forum, but I am being ignored. Can someone help me?

Hi Lotus Tiger:
I just want to say hello and I am sorry that you are experiencing negative symptoms. Is there something going on right now that is causing unusual stress? I believe when I am under a lot of stress it can bring out symptoms. I also am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but don't know much about the illness my dr doesn't explain it much so all I know is what I read up on. If you have a reliable psychiatrist, ring him up and tell him how your feeling.
Hope you feel better,
HighJinx1205

Thank you for answering. I am a client of CNS, a program-oriented facility for the mentally ill. Part of that is having a psychiatrist, but it is hard to get in there on short notice, and he is not available by phone. I do not want a fuss, and am very scared that doctor and family will try to get me to go to a psych ward. I have learned to be very frightened of that experience, as I have been in those places plenty of times.

It is hard to reach out right now.

I have read up on the illness a lot too. I would really like to get a professional to talk to key family members to help them understand. I don't think CNS provides that, but I have not asked. I can tell they don't understand, or know how to cope with me.

Yes, stress is the trigger for this relapse. My girlfriend's brother is up on murder charges. Her sister lives with us and has dementia, which causees a lot of frustration and irriation in the house. As a household, everyone here works together in our own small business of fixing up rental properties. My part is mostly clerical, and I go out and assess the properties for our main client, and create our estimates. The CEO of our main client business is very demanding and impatient. He is prone to getting very anxious when deadlines approach. The household and others within his company shield me from this kind of thing, but they cannot always do that.

Point in case of girlfriend not understanding: She came home from work, handed me her cell phone, and forced me to talk with the CEO because he kept calling her, demanding to speak with me. Even after she had witnessed a mild anxiety attack this morning. My dad works for the same company and does the same thing to me.

My girlfriend is not good at hiding her feelings, like frustration, impatience, and irritation. I am extremely sensitive to it. I don't know how to help her understand! I just printed out stuff that would very much help her understand and cope, but to get her to actually read it is another thing. It's not that she doesn't care, it's that she herself is under a lot of stress and works long hours.

Honestly, right now, every little thing causes me stress and anxiety. I am still partially functional, especially on the computer. Probably because I can just type or read at my own pace, and re-organize my typing so it makes sense before I post it.

Really hard time with speach and organizing thoughts to speak, and remembering things and having a sense of time passing. Very phobic around strangers or a group of people, even if I know them. IN essense, I am in a constant state of mild fear, with spikes of acute fear here and there. In some ways, negative symptoms are worse than positive. When having positive symptoms, although I am freaked out about it, it seems unreal and fuzzy. I am fully aware of some of my negative symptoms, and am worried that certain thoughts and beliefs may not even be real. How would I know, right?

Again, thank you for responding High Jinx. You are the only one on any forum to do so. Sorry this is so long but I have been waiting for someone to talk to!

Forums do not help

Hi there lotus. People on this forum are not obligated to reply to you. But when people are in the mood on here they can give you great advice. Since this is part of your illness I suggest talking to your psychiatrist about these new symptoms. Then you and your psychiatrist can suggest further action that would be best for you.