Childhood Flasbacks, what damage have I done?

First time posting, this is very difficult. I currently feel sick myself. I'm a 32 year old male about to get married and have a baby. I have recently started to get flashbacks of my childhood, I think somewhere from 12 - 14. At the time my younger brother was 6 - 7. I vaguely remember playing with him, jumping on top of each other in the bedroom when I got sexually aroused. I remember rubbing myself up against him with clothes on, this happened on two occasions. Something similar happened with a cousin (similar age to brother) where we were playing and again I got aroused, on this occasion I actually left the room to relieve myself (masturbate). After the second time it happened with my brother I stopped as I knew it was wrong. Since then I had forgotten about it and I have gone on to live a pretty normal life. I feel sick thinking about it as I know I was wrong and I don't know what to do.
I seem to have a good relationship with both my brother and cousin,and neither have ever said anything.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

If you have a good relationship and they aren't saying anything (and if they don't seem to be having any problems) then I really wouldn't worry about it. Lots of people have had experiences like that. I really wouldn't worry so much about it. Do you think that it will happen, again, when you have your own child?

Thank you for the reply, greatly appreciate it. Oh God; the thought of doing anything to my own child makes my stomach turn. It really would be the end of me. Nothing like that has happened since so I'm hoping its something that will remain in my childhood. I just hope it hasn't affected my brother or cousin in anyway.

Thanks again for your reply.

You're welcome and I didn't mean to worry you about your own kids. If you haven't done it, since, and you haven't wanted to do it, since, then I would say that there isn't much risk. As for your brother and cousin, just keep a casual eye out and see if anything bad comes from it, but my guess is that it will not. A lot of people have had experiences like that and do not have negative outcomes. Often times they are more just pleasant memories.

Thank you for the kind advice, hopefully there have been no negative affects and I will be able to put it behind me at some stage in the future.

I think that happens a lot... When you're a child you usually don't really know what to do when you're aroused, so you usually just go with what your instinct says, which is, to get sexual relief. Your impulse was to do something sexual (rub against your brother and cousin). Then you started to understand that it was wrong and when it happened, you walked away so you wouldn't hurt them and just masturbated.

TM15 wrote:Oh God; the thought of doing anything to my own child makes my stomach turn. It really would be the end of me.

If that thought is really distressing you, you should talk to a psychologist. I'm not saying this so you feel sick or mentally ill, but just so you can understand yourself and get some closure. What happened does not mean you're a pedophile, but maybe you would feel safer around your children if you actually discussed it with someone who might understand those feelings.

I wish you the best

thank you, I've decided to take your advice and go speak to a professional. Hopefully this will bring some understanding to my past behaviours.