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Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

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Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby Rob101 » Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:25 pm

I have never told anyone this. I did this when I was much younger and I am still so ashamed of it. I'm pretty sure I was 13/14 at the time(I don't quite remember) and I used to sleep with my older brother(17/18) and older sister(22/23). This was at the age when I was becoming more and more curious about sex and girls and one night my brother was telling me how good it felt to get to second base with a girl(touching a girls breasts). I got so curious about it that one night when both my sister and brother were asleep. I couldn't stop thinking about breast, so I just noticed my sister was asleep and I just wanted to know what they felt like....

So I made sure she was asleep and I started to poke her breasts. Just with a finger or two to know what they felt like. So I poked her breasts 3 or 4 times one night and did it again another night. After that I never did it again....

I felt so ashamed after I did it and as far as I could tell she didn't wake up. I tried to put it in the past after all these years but it came back up because me and my brother were speaking about rape cases and molestation cases and it hit me...

Did I molest my older sister? Am I just as sick as those people that have done all those horrible things......Oh god I wish I could take it all back. Those two nights. I really wish I could. I feel so disgusted with myself.

If anyone could offer some insight, it would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby survivingstill » Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:32 pm

you could always tell her. You can say when you were about 13 the kids were talking about boobs and when she was asleep you poked one of hers with your finger to see what they were talking about. tell her you have felt guilty about it ever since and couldn't take it anymore and wanted to apologize. Tell her you love her and regretted it from the moment it happened.
If you have a good relationship with her she may just laugh and say don't worry about it. She may even shock you and say, ya , I remember that! Then you will want to go crawl under a rock.

Now if she is not light hearted and you think she is going to hate you for ever, you may just have to swallow this one and live with it. It may not be worth having her angry with you or feeling violated somehow.Its your sister and you probably know her fairly well.
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby Rob101 » Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:36 am

The worst thing is that I knew if I told her, I know she would hate me forever. She would never look at me the same even though I was young.

The thing that hits me the hardest is the question that keeps running over and over again in my head. Am I a molester? Did I molest my older sister? Or sexually assault her? Or whatever the term may be. If so aren't I just as bad as pedophiles...As rapist.
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby 13cmk » Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:34 am

Its OK rob. I understand that you were young and it was kind of a fuzzy memory.I wouldn't feel guilt about it. Maybe just tell it to someone you trust more than anyone else. someone who wouldn't tease you or judge you. Someone who you felt close to. Maybe someone you loved. I am sure they would never do any malicious with that information if you felt like you could trust them with your secret.


Do you have anyone like that in your life? someone you could trust with anything and feel that they would still care for you?

It is nice when you have someone like that who you can rely on to tell your secrets to.
What men never seem to comprehend, is that when a woman's given everything she can, there's no turning back. For better or worse, when she's finally done, she's done.
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby Ada » Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:00 pm

That's a weird post, 13cmk. I'm not sure it relates to Rob at all.

Rob, there are degrees of molestation and abuse as in most things. You didn't rape your sister so it's not helpful to use that label. You haven't mentioned any further desires to touch your sister sexually, so I wouldn't use the label molester either.

I'd put this down to experimentation. I suggest you feel the regret that it wasn't the right thing to do. And then let yourself move on. You can't go back and change it. All you can do is use the energy of how you feel about it to help you in the future. Nothing good will come out of beating yourself up over it.
We think too much and feel too little.
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 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby 13cmk » Mon Aug 19, 2013 1:28 am

Ada,

I think he might know what I am referring to.
What men never seem to comprehend, is that when a woman's given everything she can, there's no turning back. For better or worse, when she's finally done, she's done.
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby Tabs » Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:20 pm

I don't get it, what's the point in telling anyone?

What you did wasn't a big deal dude.

Everyone does that.

Afterward you felt it was wrong and you stopped it, you were a kid.
Let it go dude.

Relax.

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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby Graveyard76 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:36 pm

No, Tabs. Everyone does not cop a feel of their sister's boobs.

Rob, after years of being genuinely sorry, I think it's time you forgave yourself. I wouldn't be in a hurry to confess to her though. You're obviously no bad person, and you don't deserve to beat yourself up forever over this.
"Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another." - The 7th Doctor.
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby jkimbo » Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:54 pm

I'm with Tabs on this one, he was 13 years old, big freaking deal,, he poked a tit. Forget about it, there is nothing there to be ashamed of. You were a 13 year old boy, while not every boy may have done that, every boy would have looked at them any ways. It's not like you felt her up. You poked her boob. You making a mountain out of a boob here :)
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Re: Touched my older sister while she slept. Help!

Postby Graveyard76 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:10 pm

I think we can all agree that it's not very high on the list of bad things to do, and that he should forgive himself, but I don't think it's responsible to suggest that any amount of touching your sleeping sister's tits is ever acceptable.

And Tabs' saying that "Everyone does that" is just not on.

You don't know who's reading. Maybe there's some kid who is being touched up, or worse, by a brother. Or maybe it'll be seen by some sexually confused adolescent tempted to do something like this. It's totally the wrong message to give out.
"Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another." - The 7th Doctor.
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