Here goes.....I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years. Met at a wedding and instantly clicked. I never thought I would want another serious relationship after my last one (oldest daughter's father) but he swept me off my feet. Better than that - we had fun. No matter where or who we were with, we always had fun. I became pregnant a year into dating and he proposed 6 months later. He is younger by 5 years, but very mature for his age. He knew what he wanted and how to get it.
We had a great relationship. He has always been a flirt and one of the most social people I know. This never bothered me until one day I had an awful feeling. I was home - with kids, pregnant with my 3rd and something didn’t feel right. He would never ever leave his phone around; it was with him 24/7. I doubted my thoughts for a while, then the feeling was too strong to deny. He left his email open one night, so I looked. Sure enough there were pictures of a girl half dressed, and emails back and forth about liking the way she looked and how it made him feel.
I approached the girl, called her - 15 minutes later he called. Mad at me! He said it was nothing just flirting, and I do believe nothing physical, just all talk. This still bothered me. I felt insecure and lonely. I wanted him to say those things to me, want me that way!
As time went on, I forgave. Life is busy with three children and working. I eventually let trust build back. And sure enough it has happened a few more times. It has gotten to the point that he is always doing for others than us, he is choosing those fake relationships over time with me. I have approached him and he always promised to think of my feelings and assured me it was nothing.
He is very careful to only text.....his phone is by his side even in bed, on his night stand. Well last week, the feelings came back again. This has now been 5 years, but he has been changing. His attitude gives him away! I saw some facebook conversations - by accident. I do not have his passwords and he is super careful not to ever leave them open - but when I went on the computer there were full conversations.
Talking to a woman about how she looks, how he would love to take her out, he wants to take private yoga lessons from her. Not only this woman, but another - telling her how good she looks, how he loves the days he gets to stop in her work for lunch. How good he smells when he comes home because he smells like her.
I am losing my mind, I asked the same night. Knowing I had proof, and he denied. I let him sleep, and then the next day told him what I found. He still tried to deny, saying it was nothing. I am crazy about this man, but beginning to hate who he turned into. I asked him to leave, he won’t. I spoke to his family telling them he won’t leave and why I asked. He cries to me saying sorry he is stupid - please forgive him. He found a marriage counselor to go to and does not want to lose me......but am I going to regret trying to work it out.
I am devastated, knowing this isn't the first time, the second it is like the 6th one I know about. Does he really love me and the family we created? Is it only to pacify me with counseling? Will we be able to get back to what I thought we had, or was it all a lie?