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The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby coreyc85 » Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:34 am

I'm on the depression stage of the grief scale, I'm trying so hard to move on but it's tough. My girl broke up with me 10 months ago to see someone else right when I was getting ready to move back to Florida, instead of coming with me she hurt me the day I was leaving.
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby NiennaLadyOfTears » Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:03 am

I am going through this though I haven't been able to bring myself to physically leave my husband but I know it's over. I do not have the finances necessary to get out.
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby Solitaryisland » Fri Mar 08, 2013 4:40 am

I have not only come out of a 10 yr relationship but also lots my younger brother so my grieving experience is constantly jumping back and forth from different stages.

My brother was killed at work back in June 2012, then 4 months down the track as I am grieving the loss of my younger brother, my partner of 10 years starts cheating on me with an engaged work colleague. The month prior we were discussing marriage and children so it was of complete shock to me.

It's now 5 months down the track and my ex now has this women living in the house we once shared and ran off to Bali and married in December 2012 (two months after we broke up).

So many levels of grieving going on at the one time. Mostly confusion and sadness.. I guess this is the stage of depression.
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby lonely_at_the_moment » Sat Mar 09, 2013 4:39 am

To solitaryisland - I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your brother and that you're partner wasn't able to support you as everyone deserves to be supported, during such a traumatic time.
Given all that you've been through, counselling might help. I've been to see someone as my mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers for 11 yrs & I can't be more appraising of what a wonderful job they do.

Hi to everyone on this forum - I've just joined because having decided to end a 3 yr relationship, I'm struggling to deal with my emotions & don't want to go back to counseling ideally because of work/time commitments, but I was inspired by all the supportive comments that had been posted on this discussion.

I agree with the comment about keeping busy - it doesn't stop the pain, but it can help dull it at times and exercise, even if its just a walk, can help vent some of the anger emotions as well as making you feel better in body and often mind.

I'm following my own advice above, but not sleeping and feeling so lonely which hurts as I have lots of supportive people around me, I just don't feel like I can talk to them - which is probably the stage of self-removing.

I hope I can be supportive and inspiring to others in this discussion.
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby lonely_at_the_moment » Sun Mar 10, 2013 4:59 pm

Well having read everyones comments about messing up good relationships due to anxiety, I decided to call my ex and ask whether or not things could be worked out if I went to the drs and sorted self out - it seems that after a wk my ex has been dating and agrees wiv my original thoughts that we shouldn't be together.

I do want him to be happy, but after such a short time since we broke up I feel so incredibly worthless, even tho I was the 1 that ended it. Feel so so stupid, worthless, lonely & incredibly sad too.

Sorry for the negative feeling message - I hope everyone else is having a wonderful mothers day tho.

X
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby LukeAlistar » Fri Aug 02, 2013 3:18 am

There haven't been any stages for me. More than six months later and I've been about the same the whole time. Just can't handle it.

We were engaged and then she just suddenly walked out on me and everything she'd promised because I'm high-functioning autistic. I thought it was going great but after all the things they (the girl and her parents) said to me after that I realized they were just hiding a lot of things and not listening to me when I tried to help them understand how I communicate and she didn't even want to try to work anything out, just dropped me. Two days after telling me she wasn't breaking up with me.

I think I've just been in a state that's a constant mix of all seven stages, around and around and around.
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby Thexena » Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:54 am

Thank you for explaining it for me.

I am 26 and I live in South Africa, where psycology and mental diseases are shrugged off or even treated with disgust. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression 4 years ago but his hurts so much more... My fiance cheated on me with porn 2 months ago and I was in shock, denial, bargaining and a bit of anger (which I mostly took out on my friends) for 2 months now. This week I took a turn for the worst and I really do blame myself that I was not good enough in bed or not pretty enough for him.

I just want the pain to end but after reading this and knowing I will maybe one day find someone who will love me, even though I am no longer a virgin, makes the pain a little less.

I also sent this to all my family and friends so they can understand a bit more and maybe be a bit more patient with me as I try to cope with my loss and the prospect of living my life alone...

Thank you.
"You never know how strong you are... Until being strong is the only option you have."
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby dustin W » Fri Sep 20, 2013 3:11 am

I was in a prefect relationship if there is a such thing or so I thought. The three years we were together were the best of my life we didn't fight ever or even argue. We were supposed to get married this upcoming January and start or family but it off nowhere she decided to end the relationship for no reason and still hasn't told me why. I'm feeling a stage that is not listed above and that is the suicidal thoughts that are going through my head every day. I've always have her everything she ever wanted, she didn't even have to work since I paid for everything. Now I find myself looking up painless ways to take my life in the Internet. I feel so alone in this world and like nothing will ever get better for me. I can't imagine my life without ever seeing her again. it also hurts me to think that it wouldn't even bother her when I'm gone. I miss her so much
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby Thexena » Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:59 am

Hi Dustin W,

I understand how you feel. Actually, the suicidal thoughts are part of the "depression stage" which means you are getting there. TW: I actually started cutting to let the pain out.

I keep thinking about my ex too. I can't imagine my life never seeing him again but it hurts so bad. The only thing that gave me hope was this list and thinking "I'm almost there... I'm almost there."

It's been so long since I heard from my ex and I think of him even when I'm with my new er... guy friend (which makes me feel guilty as well) but "Hope springs eternal" and all that.

I know it hurts. But it shall pass. A month ago I was exactly where you are. It does lessen with time. Wounds heal, but they leave scars as reminders. I thought those scars made my ugly but I was wrong.
I suggest going to talk to someone (I chose my church counselor but a psychologist or anyone (not friends or family) will do) Admitting you need help is not a sign of weakness but of maturity.

Good Luck and stay strong.
"You never know how strong you are... Until being strong is the only option you have."
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Re: The 7 Stages of Grief after the end of a relationship

Postby masquerade » Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:31 pm

Dustin W, please speak to your doctor about your suicidal thoughts. They are NOT a normal part of the grieving process, and as such they need to be taken very seriously. If you are feeling overwhelmed by them, please get yourself to your nearest emergency room at your local hospital. You must tell someone as there is help available.
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