Hello, Tiger! Maybe a therapist could help you deal with this. You might be able to slowly teach yourself not to react that way and send away the images and thoughts that come into your head.
Maybe you could keep something that reminds you of your wife's love and devotion with you and try to concentrate on it and the positive aspects of your relationship whenever those thoughts come back.
When you feel up to it, you could spend time with your wife to reinforce your bond, over and over again, during (if you can) or right after one of these episodes, or even before if you know that you're going to have one.
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