It's very common for people who didn't have good parents or had to take care of their parents to continue to seek out an all-loving, benevolent figure to meet our unmet childhood needs. We can look for that person in elders, peers, lovers... and most tragically, our own children (continuing the cycle).
Unfortunately, as you've found out yourself, it is impossible to find another person who will love, support, and nurture you as unconditionally as your parent should have when you were a child. The only solution for this is become a good parent to your inner child. It sounds odd, but you are the only person who is capable of loving you unconditionally. I would recommend finding some support, either a group or a therapist, to help you with this journey if you're having trouble.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. --- Andre Gide
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. --- Oscar Wilde