Ex blocked me, but wants to stay friends

Dear Members,

I like to ask for advice and see if anyone has encountered this and can give me some advice?
Im pretty much stuck on what to do.
My ex broke with me ± 8 months ago.
after the break up she said to me she wanted to remain friends. i agreed to it.
But not realised for myself i needed to be fully healed from the break up.
We kept our communication going. but that didnt worked out that well cause i still had feelings for her where i putt to much pressure on her hoping we could be together.
We spoke about this 2 months ago that i still had a difficult time dealing with my feelings for her.
she said she was ok with it, but a couple of days later she reached out to me telling me it would be better if we didnt have contact for a while.
she told me she was sorry and a whole rain of emotions came over me where she said she felt alone, didnt have a home and wanted to be with somebody cause she wanted kids...so on and so on.
i told her i did understand and to be honoust it was best for me to.

and we didnt speak for a couple of days, but then ive noticed she blocked me of social media and whattsapp. i panicked and called her to ask what this was all about and she acted out really cold. saying she didnt need to explain why she did it, and that she changed her mind so this was the best way for her. ofcourse i got upset with her why she just couldnt tell me this. and we ended it in a bit of a argument. i did ask her if she still wanted to remain friends. and she said yes. but not now. and eventually we could be friends. first i had to be ok with the thought of being friends instead of my feelings are in the way. she said yes if it took a month ar 2 or half a year or even a year it would be oke with her.

im 2 months away from that last episode and can say that it hurt like hell. cause my healing really started there.
i do feel better. starting to see things clearly. and feel it is ok. im not mad with her anymore. she did the right thing.
but only one thing is still bothering me. i like to be friends.its oke with me. but dont know if i should contact her. or just let it all go.
dont want to come across as a manipulative guy cause i know i just want to be friends nothing more.
still will keep my distance towards her, for myself.
i would like to know where i stand, and i like to apolagise for things that has been said.
she helped me in a very difficult time personally and i dont like things to end in a argument.
its just not worth it.

so is it ok to contact her?

greets,

DD

I don't know what her reasons for finishing with you were, but you shouldn't take the social media blocking personally. These things are hard, whichever side of the 'dumping' you're on.

I'd say to give it more time before you drop her a line, and even then, don't make it too heavy or expect to jump back into her life again even as just a friend. People come into each others lives for a reason, then go their separate ways. It doesn't mean they won't always mean something to each other, but it's often too complicated to carry on a friendship with somebody you've been romantically involved with.

Send her a simple message to clear the air, so if it does prove to be your last correspondence then it won't leave things on a sour note. Then look forward with your life.

Thank you for the reply:)
I dont really know what her motivations where cause she acted out real cold when i had spoke to her about it. she said she wanted to move on but wants to remain friends.
i know it was hard for her to, judging her character. so was it for me but i understand and respect her for it.
i dont have any hard feelings towards her, although it hurt. but thats life.

in a few days her birthday comes up and i dont know if i should message her before then. or just give her the 'birthday wish' and send her that message later to clear the air?

thank you for the advice. it really helped. i just wait it out till my own internal peace is settled in a bit.

I think the Birthday note is a good idea. It allows you to make contact, keep it light and keep the communication without an expectation for her to feel pressured follow up.

If you can keep the personal past relationship stuff from bleeding into the birthday wish it is a great idea. Your card or whatever should probably carry the same weight as any regular platonic friend without a history with her would carry. 2 or 3 lines should get the job done I think.

Its great because if there has been enough time and she has second thoughts she can open the door a bit for you (i.e. Thanking you for the Birthday wish). If it is all too fresh then she doesn't have to respond at all and it lets you know that she probably needs more time.

Best of luck

I did just that, is send a message through tekst but didnt get any answer so send another one through Messenger.
i saw she took a look at the message but didnt get any reply.
i didnt realise it would hurt that much but it did.
feel like a fool who took the opportunity to reach out but got ignored by her.

leaves me with a lot of questions what to think of it.
Keeps hunting my mind she said she would like to stay friends but really dont know how to reach out to her.
it feels really bad the way things ended, and me being on the end of it with a lot of answers where i dont know what i really did wrong.
never got a straight answer to that. and feels disrespectfull to say the least.