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Need help with big disagreement?

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Need help with big disagreement?

Postby kelsey_042013 » Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:19 am

My fiance thinks that it isn't ok for me to leave the house at night after I put our son to bed to go to see any friends, or go out to my local kava bar. (kava is a kind of tea made from a root causing relaxation, it is a natural dopamine stimulant basically.) So I will spend all day at home, most nights I dont even go out but recently I have been going every night, but that is because we have been going through a bad spot in our relationship and it isnt working out anymore. He literally gets mad at me ANYTIME I go ANYWHERE unless its out with him, to the store, and sometimes to yoga. He told me tonight that "that is not a normal way to act when youre a Mother and if you're gonna be a wife". I would agree, if I was going out partying. But all Im doing is having a social life outside of my relationship life. And I honestly think he needs to do the same. Its not healthy to be around the same person ALL the time.. Anyways, I need advice on this
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Re: Need help with big disagreement?

Postby MapleSyrup » Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:45 pm

kelsey_042013 wrote:My fiance thinks that it isn't ok for me to leave the house at night after I put our son to bed to go to see any friends, or go out to my local kava bar. (kava is a kind of tea made from a root causing relaxation, it is a natural dopamine stimulant basically.) So I will spend all day at home, most nights I dont even go out but recently I have been going every night, but that is because we have been going through a bad spot in our relationship and it isnt working out anymore. He literally gets mad at me ANYTIME I go ANYWHERE unless its out with him, to the store, and sometimes to yoga. He told me tonight that "that is not a normal way to act when youre a Mother and if you're gonna be a wife". I would agree, if I was going out partying. But all Im doing is having a social life outside of my relationship life. And I honestly think he needs to do the same. Its not healthy to be around the same person ALL the time.. Anyways, I need advice on this


There is your SON inbetween both of you. The safety, the welfare and interest of the son is the first priority.
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Re: Need help with big disagreement?

Postby kelsey_042013 » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:19 pm

i obviously know that... im a mother before anything. i go out AFTER my son is in bed, after i spend all day taking care of him, cooking dinner, cleaning house, laundry etc... i needed advice on if this behavior is acceptable or if I need to stay at home all the time.. a reasonable compromise.
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Re: Need help with big disagreement?

Postby MapleSyrup » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:34 pm

kelsey_042013 wrote:i obviously know that... im a mother before anything. i go out AFTER my son is in bed, after i spend all day taking care of him, cooking dinner, cleaning house, laundry etc... i needed advice on if this behavior is acceptable or if I need to stay at home all the time.. a reasonable compromise.


How old is your son? If too young, do you trust his father to look after him in your absence? I mean is he capable of caring? Most men, thu can be loving but uncapable of replacing mom?

Is there mutual trust between both of you? Do you love each other?
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