Should I intervene in this situation?

Should anyone intervene in a known gold digger destroying another man?

Almost everyone in town is talking about this. This may be long and the question is should anyone intervene in this? Should I? Should a group of us? There are a lot of details but everyone knows of her and it is the talk of the town.

There is an older couple going to marry. I won’t names. L is age 61. D is age 81. No one likes D, no one. She does not have one friend. A woman who has no friends and claims even her own relatives are out to get her should set off alarms to any man. But she is a lifelong experienced gold digger and black widow as her only profession. She used to brag about this to everyone until no one wanted anything to do with her anymore.

A lot of people used to like L, but few do now because of his adultery. He openly humiliating his wife of 30 years and his adultery was with his next door neighbor’s dying husband while acting like his friend. Although lying to his wife denying the affair, D and L bragged about it to everyone else. Everyone but his wife knew. No one told her but she finally learned.

D is an uneducated and functionally illiterate lifelong gold digger. She never finished high school and lies about her age. This will be her 4th marriage. For every prior marriage and any other relationship she has broken up a marriage that was decades old to steal every financial asset they had accumulated. She has broken up over a dozen marriages in her life and is very methodical and proud doing so. She even broke up a 50 year marriage in the past. There is no lie she will not tell and has a system she has refined to get the man to believe her.

Nor at any time does she stops looking for more men for money whether she is married or engaged at the time. When L went out of town for work she would go down to the Lodge until she was run off trying to find still other old men to seduce with as cheap a tactic as giving him a blow job trying to get him tp give her money claiming she’ll pay him back and of course does not.

If any man seriously involves with her or leaves his marriage and it will cost the man everything he has including his house and all other assets. She will spent it all very quickly including giving a lot of it to a felon con-artist son-in-law who helps her work men. Not soon after he figures she’s taken everything and then quickly he’s in the graveyard.

Last year D, 81, broke up the marriage of 3 decades of L, age 61, who lives next door to her. So obviously the woman is skilled at working men if that is the right word.

Her tactics are always the same. She has used them her whole life and refined her methods across 6 decades.

She uses sex, specifically oral sex, convinces the man she is wealthy and that everyone is out to get her so not to listen to warnings. She has a convicted con-artist son-in-law she uses to confirm her claims of being wealthy and all sorts of promises there is even more money coming from real estate deals. She buys the man gifts to try to prove she is wealthy. She will isolate him from everyone and convince him everyone’s warnings are all liars and out to get her, including her own family members. She’ll even deny she has 3 children to keep the man from any communications except with one daughter who is the wife of the con-artist, they usually living in pay-by-the-week motels while claiming to be high rollers.

In the end she bullies the man into marrying her. If she doesn’t get what she wants, she rages at him, threatens him and even threatens to try to expose secrets she has learned about him. If the man does what she wants, she’ll be nice, loving and complimentary. In this way, she conditions the man into believing all he has to do is what she wants and then she’ll be nice and he’ll be happy. So he will marry her thinking this will bring peace. But when he does she has a singular purpose of getting every dollar and everything he has as fast as possible. She can always find more men. What she wants is money.

After she has the sexual affair going, she makes sure the wife finds out to wreck the marriage as has again happened. L, of course, lost half of everything he had in the divorce. The affair started when her previous husband was dying, L acting like his friend while having sex with his wife. Now it was time for D to make sure L’s wife found out about the affair to cause the divorce.

She and her son-in-law have convinced L that she has a lot of financial assets as much as a million dollars worth. She has isolated him from everyone declares even her own relatives are lying about her. L convinced her he has a huge amount of money, which he does not. Both think they are going to get rich off the other.

D, 81, actually has huge debts, judgments and liens against her and her only asset, which is a half empty small shopping strip. Her house is mortgaged and she is behind on
Payments so she is pouring on the pressure for him to marry her. Time is critical as some debts are soon going to cost her the shopping center and she is going to also lose her house unless she can get L’s house and money. To convince L she has money, she buys him things as if she is wealthy. But she is completely broke and up to her neck in growing huge and legally recorded judgments and debts.

L doesn’t have money but he does have a house worth quite a bit of money and selling it would pay D’s debts. L, 61, is unemployed but employable.

Everyone knows what will happen if they marry as it always does. D no longer will have reason to be nice to him. He will have to liquidate his house for her bills and within a year he’ll have nothing, no home and no money. D will use his money for her bills and let him stay in her house making her payments at least until she finds the next man, and then become so vicious she drives him off and runs him into his grave.

While all her debts are public record, she has convinced him everyone is out to get her and is lying, using the con-artist son-in-law as her proof. She had done this her whole life and her only employment has been ripping off men this way.

A few people still like L, but not many. He had an affair cheating on his wife of 3 decades with his dying best friend’s wife so many think he has what is coming his way. Others feel they should something about this old woman who would have sex with any man she can get dollar off of, wrecks every marriage she can for this, and ultimately takes everything he has and runs him into his grave. She is so confident in this she is already setting the stage telling people that L, 20 years younger, is overweight and in bad health so probably won’t live much longer. She is already calculating his death.

L doesn’t have the money she thinks but he does have a house to sell, all his possessions and probably life insurance. L thinks at least he’ll get the shopping strip and its income, but its already gone for debts and liens. D’s total worth is less than zero.

Since all the facts are in front of L and she has convinced him to that recorded records are all fake and what everyone tells him is a lie probably it all a waste of time for anyone anyway. L is probably like the typical gambler who having lost half of everything he has he believes he must gamble everything else to try to get it back. The moment L married D his fate is irreversibly sealed. He loses everything within a year. But he was the worst form of adulterer on his wife and against his friend with his wife. So it seems it is him having ruined himself and at 81 D does not have much time left anyway.

Should anyone approach L and tell this to him outright to his face, to stop being such an old fool and look at what is obviously happening? Or let D take it all, run him into his grave like all the others with the pressure and then hope she follows him to the grave soon enough?

A very religious woman who knows all this said she believes God uses evil women like D to punish men for adultery and then takes care of that woman in the end usually giving her horrible death before her trip to hell.

I am one of the few people left who cares a little about what happens to L. Should anyone who still cares about him directly talk to L? Or is it a waste of time?

HI kleris,

My gut reaction is that it's not so great that this is a town where seemingly everyone has time to focus on other people's drama. That written...

I personally think it is fine to talk with a friend, to warn them if you really believe they are in at risk of being hurt. Beyond that? It's not our job to fix all wrongs in the world. So I would help a friend, try to avoid personal involvement with con-artists/sociopath types, and the hard part... To some degree people are going to do what they are going to do. If he is really smitten (lacking a better word here) with her, then he is, and probably nothing you say is going to change that. That's okay too. He may have to learn his own lessons in life the hard way.