Pinching and beating behavior with grandma

Hi All,
I took my son to India to visit my mother and father (grandparents of 4 year old kid). due to some reasons my wife could not come with us.
we used to chat with grandparents daily. my son likes my father but used to shyaway from my mother over internet.
after visiting, he got attached to his grandfather but with grandma he is running away. later he started to show aggressive beahavior and started pinching, biting and now slapping on face. when I am nearby and I see he is not doing it. in my absence he is doing that.
this beavior is with his grandma only. he is not doing this with both maternal and paternal grandfather.
I explained to him in cool mood, I yelled at him and I reciprocated what he did so that he understand whats the pain she is going through. (ofcourse I was not violent but slightly did that thing to intimidate him).

Could you experts suggest anything to deal with this problem. he is a healthy kid with no such problems. there are no psyco or physiological problems. he speaks to her rarely and when speaks he repeats my way of dealing towards him. In other words he thinks she is under his command or something like that. I never spank or beat him. I very very rarely did that to him.
please help me. thanks

hello ilhs,

I am sure something must be wrong with your son for your mother. Otherwise, no one kid can do so harm to any old lady. Analyze his behavior. Try to keep watch on him. What do you think? Why did he act with weird behavior?

Instead of just trying to coerce him to be nice to his grandmother, did you ask him WHY he feels that way? Why not open the dialogue with him and try to find out what the reason is. If he feels insecure about something in particular, you can work on him to help him feel more confident around her. Maybe he simply just got spooked by something she said, like a misunderstanding, and because he is so young he is not developmentally able to rationalize or mentally process his misunderstanding so he just reacts with fear. In the meantime, I would NOT leave him alone with her anymore. It's not fair to your mother (because I would imagine she feels devastated) and it's not fair to him (as I am sure he doesn't WANT to be acting like this - he is just doing it out of fear).

The more he acts out aggressively the more he will continue to do it. And yelling at him after the fact will have little effect because that will only make him more anxious about it. This type of behaviour you cannot correct with aggression or intimidation. And don't let her try to push affection on him. Just take small steps and reward him with praise when he is able to tolerate her presence. Also, maybe try to set up something fun for him and your grandmother to do together (with supervision) so he begins to associate her with positive things.