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rad partner but wont accept counsselling

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rad partner but wont accept counsselling

Postby farmerjack » Tue Aug 29, 2017 5:03 pm

hello all - looking for a little help for my partner if possible, perhaps somebody out there can give her some advise or help with what shes going through or me for that matter.

in october 2014 i started a relationship with a fantastic woman (ill call her jill) at the time we were both still in unhappy marriages so i guess it was an affair.
in early 2015 jills husband had the chance to transfer to the south coast for work an area apparantly they had discussed moving to in happier times so he went and jill stayed.
in december 2015 i moved out of my marital home and into a rented home so we could spend more time together and things were good for a couple of months, then she seemed to find silly reasons why our relationship wouldnt work, but we always seened to sort it out.
May 2016 out of the blue she announced our relationship was over and she wanted to go back to her husband and began commuting to the south coast at weekends to be with him, though usually taking her parents with her.
Anyway a couple of months later we got talking and she admitted she had made a mistake and it was me she loved and wanted to be with, but couldnt stop the visits to cornwall yet due to various reasons. we spent endless hours talking and i spent quite some time convincing her she should speak to a counsellor as there were many parts of her life that appeared manic to me, already divorced twice third imminant, plus quite a number of other short term relationships, bankrupcy and never seemed to settle anywhere, moved house about 3 times in a year at 1 point.
anyway i was really pleased when jill went to see a counsellor! however this was on the south coast on 1 of her weekend visits, jill attended 2 sessions in total with the counsellor before stopping her weekend trips to the coast but the counsellor diagnosed her with RAD.
when we looked into Rad it fitted, most of her behaviours were on the list, she had a strange relationship with her mother, what i suspect further compounds the problem is she left home in mid teens, first husband abused her, 1 partner left her for another woman and another left her for another man.
Having stopped going to the coast she made an appointment with a local counsellor, but cancelled it before attending claiming she couldnt afford it at the time though i had said id pay it would be a worthwhile investment.
Despite raising the issue a number of times jill has yet to return to counselling though we have spent 11 brilliant months together no cross words or quarrells with me stopping with her most weekends etc, we had even applied for a couple of tenancies together though unsuccesfully.
Then out of the blue a couple of weeks ago she announces the relationship has no future!
jill does however admit that she knows its down to her rad.
the situation at the moment is we arent seeing each other but communicating sporadically.
i dont know why she didnt resume counselling im guessing she got scared,

is there anybody out there who has rad can offer her any advice? i love her to bits and i know she does me, but something scared her though im not sure what and not sure she does. i know she has to attend counselling to resolve the issues but i cant drag her there.

can anybody help us?
farmerjack
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