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Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

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Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby BlackDahlia » Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:24 pm

Last time when I asked my Boyfriend how often he did anal, he told me he will do it to me someday even he knows it's the most disgusting thing to me cause I tell him everytime and that I rather prefer to die than this...Anyway it's not that relevant now but i'm afraid he will ever try it on me especially after what he told me.

He began to tell me, that when he was MAD at his ex gf he just f***** her anal. With the REASON HE WAS MAD at her and said ,,I thought f*ck her, she's a b**ch"
I asked him: ,,What did she say?"
He answered; ,,It hurts"
Then he said:,,She said stop so I stopped after thirty seconds"

I did ask his ex gf ,,Did he rape you?" first she said: ,,mhh". Again is asked her ,,*name*, did he rape you?" with a shameful voice she said:,,kind of"

Another point was that it's physical impossible to enter the rectum without the knowledge of the partner so easily and suddenly unless it's violent.
When I told him ,,how does it works to f*ck her a** so easy?" he said ,, i did it fast" so logical without preperation if your partner never did anal before, it only could be violent that you're able to enter?!
I know he doesn't wanted to rape but what he did was rape in my opinion even though he stopped when she said stop orally. But the fact he did
1. Anal without asking
2. With the intention because he was mad at her (,,I thought f*ck her she's a b**ch")
is already rape, so far I know?
So my question is;

1. Is this juridically rape?


P.s. I know that some people might say it's not because they already have had sex but I won't agree between the fact saying yes to vaginal intercourse or ******* a girls butt without permission because of anger!
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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby Evol222 » Mon Aug 22, 2011 11:39 pm

Hi BlackDahlia,

Yes, that is without question rape.
It doesn't matter what his mental state was or whether he and his girlfriend were already having sex; it is never okay for someone to force themselves onto another.
Never.
Likewise, he has no right threatening you and making you feel unsafe.
It doesn't sound like your boyfriend has much respect for you, his ex, for women in general.

In your first paragraph you dismiss your feelings as irrelevant...
They are relevant.
As are your fears.
Please protect yourself and get away from this dangerous situation.

Well wishes,

Evol
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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby pheonixrise » Tue Aug 23, 2011 5:22 am

That is certainly rape. Rape is generally classified as one person putting part of their body (or an object) into another person's body without permission. Even if he'd been slow and taken time to make it less painful, it's still rape. Also, having said yes previously to any kind of intercourse doesn't mean it's a yes all the time, for all types of intercourse.

Evol222 wrote:it is never okay for someone to force themselves onto another.
Likewise, he has no right threatening you and making you feel unsafe.
Please protect yourself and get away from this dangerous situation.

I agree with everything Evol said, particularly these points. Please keep yourself safe.
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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby CrackedGirl » Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:16 am

This is rape and he sounds a dangerous person to be around. Please consider leaving him as if he thinks this behaviour is acceptable he is a very sick person. You are worth better.

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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby Emily-Lee » Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:02 am

Most definitely rape, even if she had agreed to it but found it too painful as soon as she says stop or no it is rape if they continue.

The fact he didn't even ask but just entered her hard and it must have been hard to fully enter someone anally unless they are prepared that is rape.

Like the others have said I'd be worried about my own safety and you should really question your relationship with him.
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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby GanjDroid » Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:30 am

Dump him, end it & dont spend time with him. Obviously he has anger issues, he most likely went through some sort of tragic event physical, mental or sexual abuse. This doesnt excuse his behavior to mentally & sexually assault you. Its his fault, not yours. It wasnt his ex's fault for that happening to her. Its time to show him the door, counselor or teacher at school can help you break up with him if you dont want to do it yourself.
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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby 4dan » Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:22 am

This is a form of sexual assault and a crime.

As for whether the crime is called rape, that could depend on the area.
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Re: Anal without asking when he was mad, was it rape?

Postby Eisa » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:20 pm

Yes, I would most definitely consider that rape. It's wrong of him to do that without asking, it sounds like he just forced it on her, and it's also very, very painful to do that without preparation. Even if he did preparation, however, he didn't get her consent. :?

Also, him telling you that he will do it some day to you even though he knows your feelings on it is very wrong. It's one thing to encourage your partner to consider the idea of doing a sexual act that you enjoy, but it's quite another to pressure them and to tell them that you WILL do it to them, no matter what. That's wrong.
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