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My boyfriend raped me and claims I wanted it

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My boyfriend raped me and claims I wanted it

Postby tgif » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:05 am

Okay so I have never had this happen to me before. Im not the type of person that likes relationships but something about my now ex boyfriend changed that. I fell for him fast and hard. He is the only guy that i said i love you too and I had lost my virginity to him. At first he was great and I loved spending every minute with him. As time went on things began to change, I stopped going out with my girlfriends and I lost contact with every guy friend I had because he didnt like me talking to any other guys besides him. I had basically changed the girl I use to be to please him. Anyway, one day he came over to my apartment and we were laying in bed watching a movie. He wanted to have sex and i said that i did not because i wasn't in the mood. He pulled my shorts and underwear down and I quickly pulled them back up. After a few minutes of me saying stop and pulling them back up, he forced them off and put them on the side of the bed. I started to get mad and i turned away from him so he pulled me in and forced my legs apart and forced himself in. I said no and i pulled away but he held my so close with a tight grip so he wouldnt get out. Then he started to have sex with my and i was begging him to stop. He then told me that atleast he was having sex with me and not other girls. I tried for awhile to fight him off but I eventually gave up and just laid there. At that point i was on my stomach with him behind me holding my arms. I was in disbelief and i just started to cry. Afterwards he apologized and tried to make it up by telling me how much he loved my and taking me out for a nice dinner. I have tried to forgive him because i loved him so much but i can't get over it. I have spoken to him and asked how he could do that to me and he just tries to justify it by either saying that i wanted it or that I hurt him too ,earlier in the relationship because i had hungout with a guy alone and tried hiding it. I do not believe that what i did justifies what he did to me. I dont know what to think about what happened. I'm really scacred to tell my parents or anyone about it.
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Re: My boyfriend raped me and claims I wanted it

Postby jasmin » Tue Apr 05, 2011 7:04 pm

Tgif, yes, he raped you and he had no right. You don't have to talk to your family about it, you can look for a rape crisis center or a place for victims of abuse and see if you can get some therapy there. He is very abusive and he has always been controlling and abusive, he isolated you from everyone. There is nothing anyone could do or say that could justify raping someone, he's responsible and he's not going to change only because he seemed nice once.
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Re: My boyfriend raped me and claims I wanted it

Postby tgif » Tue Apr 05, 2011 8:28 pm

I know that what he did was wrong. I feel stupid for puting up with him for so long but he was my first love. He would call me names and harass me if i went out with my girlfriends and although he never hit me he would pull my hair push me or restrict me from leaving the apartment at times. I would like to go get help but i dont think i am ready for that yet. It is also not easy when he calls me everyday telling me he loves me and wants me back. This site has helped me alot being able to vent and know that im not alone. Thanks for your advice.
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Re: My boyfriend raped me and claims I wanted it

Postby jasmin » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:02 pm

Block him from any communication device you have, he's harassing you. This can really mess with your mind and your health. You could ask someone who specializes in this for help, it might be even easier than telling a friend, and you'd have more strength to keep him away too. You can just talk on the forum and get stronger, it's ok.
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Re: My boyfriend raped me and claims I wanted it

Postby xoxodooder » Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:46 pm

Stop talking to the guy and move on. Nothing good would come by you still communicating with him.
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