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the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

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the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby mtgirlygirl » Sat May 08, 2010 5:09 am

Okay quick question, I was assaulted by a coworker on several occasions, all of which i did not want and even tried to get away from but couldn't. the coworker would corner me and trap me in conference rooms amongst other places. He would touch me from head to toe and even kiss my body. the worst of it was putting his fingers inside me. Now by my understanding that is sexual assault since he never got his penis inside me... he did touch me with it but again no penetration by his penis. Am i correct or wrong? I just looked up a definition and it said to use a body part or object to penetrate is rape. Im so confused... can someone clarify the difference and help me understand if what happened to me and what i thought is just assault and not rape? I would really like to keep believing it was assault and not rape but if im wrong i need to know too...
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Going Beyond Descriptions.

Postby IamThat » Sat May 08, 2010 9:19 am

Hi,

Technically speaking, what you believe is true. From technically, I mean – in a court of law; or by definition.

I wonder though, if you have been released from the emotional and psychological burden of whatever you may want to call ‘it’.

EMDR is often useful for trauma and such things. Is not very expensive and can help you get over past traumas within a few sessions.

NLP is also useful – to help you understand how imposing a certain word (assault, rape, or sexual attraction) – upon an incidence can completely change your view point about the incidence and yourself. In a way, you already seem to know this – which is why you want to believe that it was an assault and not rape.

May be it is also possible to ‘see’ it as not even an assault and something more ‘benign’ or ‘silly’ on part of this co-worker.

Remember: If you change the way you look at things – the things you look at change (Wayne Dyer). In other words, it is how you see things that give them their meaning. The things in themselves have no meaning or significance. Again, you seem to understand it already – which is why you want to see it as assault and not rape.

Again – may be – see if you can look at it in some other way. Not a way that has a victim and a perpetrator. Because in assault – there is still a victim (you) and a perpetrator (coworker). And it IS possible to go beyond all descriptions and models of victimhood. That is where you may find freedom and peace.

Be well and the very best.
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Re: the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby salted lipstick » Sun May 09, 2010 3:11 pm

Hello mygirlygirl. I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. What he did to you was really wrong. Are you seeking some help to get through this? I am here if you want to talk more.

It is so awful that you had to go through that experience. I think it doesn't matter so much what words you use to label that horrific act as much as it matters what you can do to help yourself overcome the effect it has had on you. You have taken a really positive step to start trying to deal with this by talking on here.
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Re: the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby myke » Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:49 pm

well, you can really distinguish the difference because rape is usually without your consent and by force while it may be similar to sexual assault sometimes but no definite penetration
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Re: the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby Onebravegirl » Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:59 pm

If you did not consent it is rape. If he did not ask for your consent it is rape. If you did not willingly participate it is rape.
His actions could escalate into more violent conduct. Many rapists believe that women really want to be treated this way.
Be careful, and make it crystal clear that he is never to do this to you again, report him. You may be saving other women from him. You did nothing wrong, you survived.
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Two men looked through bars. One saw Mud, the other saw Stars.
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Re: the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby HelenM » Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:35 am

It sounds like he penetrated with his fingers, no? In that sense it looks like "rape".... so sorry to hear that happened to you, i hope that you're not working around him any longer
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Re: the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby benedictus57 » Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:08 pm

Helen wrote:It sounds like he penetrated with his fingers, no? In that sense it looks like "rape".... so sorry to hear that happened to you, i hope that you're not working around him any longer



Totally Agree!

Whether a Victim has been sexually harassed and leads to
Sexual Penetration by a Perpetrators Fingers, an Object, or Penis it is Rape
It's damned Blood Sucking Lawyers getting lucrative money to defend Perps who could careless about Victims. Lawyers often walk around the slippery slope in Law of the State or Crown to discredit the Victim.

Whether Sexual Assault/Rape leads to sexual penetration in what ever manner,
Against The Victims Will
, It is Rape by no other name.

mtgirlygirl; So sorry what happen to you. You deserve far better justice.

Take Care
Chris
It takes courage to live through suffering; and it takes honesty to observe it. C. S. Lewis
To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
G. K. Chesterton.
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Re: the difference between rape and sexual assault? *trigger*

Postby Clay » Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:06 pm

Hey Mtgirlygirl,

I just thought I would tell you that you aren't alone. I was assaulted in the same way by my ex boyfriend in a cinema and I have seriously struggled with dealing with the assault. The important thing to remember is that you SURVIVED and its important that you keep going.Im coming up to one year in 10 days and its resurfacing old feelings. I think the best thing you can do is talk to someone close I didn't for the longest time and I only really began the process of healing after I did. Please remember as you deal with it that what happened wasn't your fault and it never will be what he did was disgusting and sick and I pray for you to have the courage to move on with your life to the best of your ability and heal the best you can. What happened to you really sucks and I hope you can recover and move on from it eventually.
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