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She got raped and ruined my life

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She got raped and ruined my life

Postby hermojo » Fri Jul 10, 2009 3:18 am

I suppose everyone here is going to hate me for this posting. However, I have spent the last three hours online trying to find support. My FORMER best friend was sexually assaulted by a serial rapist in Texas. He stalked his victims and tortured them with sex and then forced them to empty out their ATM accounts. She had left our smaller city for Dallas and then fled back here to hide because we were so scared he might go after her again because she reported the 12 hour nightmare. I knew it when it happened. I called her and her phone was messed up bad. I was 9 months pregnant and she returned home and because I loved her I never told her that it caused such distress and a very hard labor. I started labor pains right after I saw her and thought I was having anxiety. She came to to the hospital with her sister and they told me she had tried to kill herself. It was terrible. This should have been the most precious moments of my life and I should have just picked someone else to be my child's God mother and it was my own bad judgement of thinking it would bring love and healing to her.

Instead....she stopped treatment and spend her crime victim's compensation money on shopping sprees. She became hateful toward us all and my husband said awful things about her out of total frustration. I defended her to the end. Then she became so hard to get a long with at work and lost her job. I had a very good position and got her a not so fantastic paying job with insurance benefits. She was hateful and aggressive and I went to her house twice on overdose scares and made myself look like an idiot at work by covering for her horrible attitude. It was terrible for her and I am so sorry. Her sister and I tried to be level and ignore it and keep 'reminding' her that counseling is available.

My hours were awful as a news anchor on a morning show. I hardly got to see my baby and my husband refused to move out of his parent's house and said it was too hard on account of my hours. She kept coming by and began to really have what I felt was an obsession or fixation on my child. She said she was her reason for living. I had to stop the madness when she came by and said she'd put a "Trust" in my daughter's name to pay for her college. That's when I told the mother in-law she was to call first ~ who said "My House ~ My Rules, she can come when she wants. We'll give her a key." She began calling my husband, but I didn't think much. I confronted her about stopping by without calling. She became violent and yelled and pushed me as my father in-law came around the corner... This is where MY LIFE starts crumbling because someone is SOOO selfish they won't get help. He said I pushed her. Nice. So, it gets worse. I had postpartum and got treatment and she got a good job and left my office and I swear my boss wanted to throw a party. She was sweet, but so obsessed with my child and making money that I kind of faded. So then it became her job to "stay in touch" with my husband non-stop and tell him the smallest things about me that made me look nuts. He and I had a horrible fight on the day his sister got married. He's screaming in the church lot and I had her car so remember this... I flee home and call her sister, I have the car... Can I come by. "sure the door's open and make yourself at home." My shift and a former President's arrival meant I got no sleep and then did get a night's sleep after, but of course the phone began ringing off the hook. Oh, she's gone nutter again. I called the sis and said my feet hurt so bad, can I borrow some sweats and just chill 'til you or the crew arrive. "Oh yes, sure..." Remember this. So in comes my friend? Telling me I had LEAVE IMMEDIATELY... I went outside and she told me I needed to be hospitalized and I was in total shock. You run to your friend's for cover and she's reporting to my husband and talking to him before talking to me. Fed up, I looked at her and said: "I take care of myself and get treated. And what are you going to about it? Because look at you and how you act toward me. Get treatment and then you can tell me that. Get right." She screamed and ran off and broke glass. During this time she told me her brother in=law on methadone kept having cars show up "lost" on their property and was scared he was using heroine again. The sis is a pharmacist and I believe this is a total conflict. So... I tell my husband no more unsupervised visits. As a news journalist you learn that people get killed when drugs are involved. At that point I just moved on and we spoke until I was told that my depression had reminded her too much of her step-mother and she was tired of hearing me upset about my husband yelling at me perpetuated by her calls on my behavior I guess.

End of story: her meddling made it so my husband thought I was CRAZY. She wanted him, she wanted my child. I moved in to a woman's shelter after the stress had him yelling so loudly I had moved in to our house alone...often even without my child because he no longer trusted me. Thanks Bitch. She lied about so much during the divorce it was like I was criminal on trial. She called to ask if I had a boyfriend and I said Oh yeah, I'm partying and I'm 40 and I'm so hot and she quoted it verbatim and made up many horrible things about me to try and have them take my CHILD AWAY FROM ME. Further, the sister backed her story I came in and went nutter and took their clothes without asking. This woman is CRAZY AND EVIL. She ruined my marriage and I am now in credit card debt so horribly and cannot work until the courts have us divorced properly. I called to see if she was better and she told me she had been 'going to the house to see my husband' and it went right past me. She also told me she had been taking the baby to the ice cream shop telling her it was the zoo. The next day we were to meet with my husband and she made excuses. Then "Oh, geeze" She can have him. OR Vice Verca... he called her horrible racist hate names and said she smelled. I never told her. I finally got real pissed because she called MYHUSBAND to complain that I 'had brought up the past.' I am telling you....he was not seeing her. She has lost her damn mind and ruined my life. All because of one act of power and then her refusal to get help.

The courts gave me equal custody of our child and I cried to her one day: "I helped you through your trauma, please help me." This after a neighbor heard my husband say he was going to "F((((ing kill me and I had best watch my back you B."

She looked me square in the eye and said, 'Trauma, what trauma? Don't try to act like your pain is so bad as mine."

I lost my ######6 husband and am poor now. Yes there was a violent act and I tried to help her and even tough love. But it destroyed our families and she's fixated on my daughter still.

Yes, I am angry. I wanted to kill the man who raped her. It was awful. Today, I just see an evil hearted person who ruined my family and I am now terrified she's going to harm my daughter. I told my ex everything and he said I was lying again. THANK YOU BITCH FOR NOT GETTING THE HELP.

So my dear crime victims.... Get help. Please. For the love of God...if not for yourself then for those around you. We praise that victim for being so strong... but what about when they turn to truly evil people? Where's my support club. Bitch. I loved you and you ruined my life. Thank you so much. I will pray for you, but if you hurt my daughter, you better pray. Total psychopath. Rape victims rant, rave all you want....but get help or shut the ###$ up....
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Re: She got raped and ruined my life

Postby Ravine » Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:26 pm

Hello hermojo,

It is really shocking story for you. i know. i am feeling that everything done with you by her, it was really painful moments. You tried to help her, really. You did everything to heal her. But that's not your fault. It is totally her, when she refused to take counseling. Instead of taking help, she ruined your life. This question is really important. May be in starting you should somewhat talk to her in gentle language. I feel this. Rest of fault is also your husband's, too. He should trust you. Not blaming you.

Now you have to live on your own. I know you must be feeling really difficult. You tried to talk to your husband, but she told you that don't try to act like you are having more pain as she had. It means she is rebellion. I don't know why she is doing. Remember, when she was raped and wanting for help, this situation made her crazy. She felt that she is alone and no one will marry to her after knowing her reality. So she tried your family. But this is so wrong did. She should not try this. How can we make our family ,by destroying others family? It is really bad and shameful work. You should fight to get back your family. It is not almost impossible. Just stand up on your own and fight for the truth what she had did.

Yes, rapists are bad persons. They must be punished very strictly to stop rape.

May god give you strength to fight your life difficulties and i hope you get everything. Don't lose faith and hope. Motivate yourself and see it is your right to have your husband back.
We are with you means site is with you. When you feel any difficulty, just come here and feel free to talk to us.
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Re: She got raped and ruined my life

Postby kyle123 » Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:33 pm

what i dont get out of the story tell me if im wrong...why would your husband beleive this pyscho woman over his own wife??
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Re: She got raped and ruined my life

Postby r2rr » Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:07 pm

A truly heart-wrenching story. And you do raise a very important question. When does one go from being the victim to being the perpetrator? Is this woman still a ‘victim’ or has she move on to be a ‘perpetrator’? Similarly, her rapist may have been the victim of horrific abuse as a child, if so at what point did he move from being the victim to being the perpetrator.
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