I Feel Like a Freak

A little while back some of us underwent medatative aging... I knew I needed to age if I wanted to better handle the anger and rage I'm meant to handle... But that's not what's bothering me...

I finally met Raven's love interest face to face on Sunday... He had an off day emotionally and I got blasted with his emotions (I'm an empath like Raven), and I'll I could think about was holding him,comforting him... And I felt funny... Like I'd swallowed a bunch of frogs and they decided to play tag... And my body reacted... It wasn't just with Raven's love interest... I felt like that with the Ex SO too...

[TRIGGER WARNING- Mention of sex]


I got hard... And I ended up having sex with the ex SO twice that night.


[END TRIGGER WARNING]

I feel like a freak... I feel like I shouldn't even have these feelings... Especially after only meeting him face to face once, though Raven's known him for 9 years. I've been so confused that it's effecting Raven's ability to focus which lead him to ask what was up since she was talking to him. I can't tell him! I can't. He's not gay, I'm not Raven, and I don't wanna ruin her chance to get with him once they both get on their feet. It's not a phase because I've never been remotely interested in females, except platonically, and before I aged I wasn't interested in boys either.

Gods I'm such a freak.

Hi Juri. I don't think you're a freak. Given the range of sexual experiences, especially within a DID system, it makes sense. You're all in one mind and bound to have feelings from one of you influence another. I get waves of emotions that sweep over me and can affect my behavior but still don't feel like "mine."

As for telling him, if he's super cool about the DID, very open to the experiences of your system, it might be worth a shot but is there a rush? I have to admit that sexual, romantic or erotic feelings and emotions that don't feel like mine can be difficult for me but I'd rather have access to them than no access. How does Raven feel about all this?