I'm a loser

I keep on seeing people who are better than me. It freaks me out. I'm an unemployed, broke loser who has a criminal record. I've worked hard my entire life and I have absolutely no happiness. I'm losing the will to work hard because it rarely results in success for me.

I've been googling this female volleyball player who is about my age. Not only is she more famous than me, she's also wealthier than me, she has a great job as a professional athlete, she's happy, and she's also physically healthier than me. This may sound sexist, but if she was a man, I would not be so depressed, but for some reason, seeing a woman achieve so much more than me makes me feel terrible.

I've tried everything to succeed. I'm not sure what else I can do at this point.

How can you make those assumptions about this person?

Did they tell you themselves they were happy?

You only know them as a woman from the pictures you see, but what if they feel like a man, or other inside?

How do you know this person is healthy? There are illnesses that can not be immediately observed just by looking at someone. Physical fitness and health are different.

You are not going to succeed in anything if you keep that mindset. The grass is always greener on the other side and what happens if you decide to make the long trek to those lush pastures only to see that the grass is dead and dry from changing seasons in your journey?

Hi Kenneth,

There will always be people that seem to be more successful than you by some measure(s). Now, instead of envying them, you could try to see them as an inspiration. If you can't, the other option is, quit comparing! It seems a sure way to ruin you self esteem and make you unhappy. You are a unique person with wonderful qualities, if only you could stop beating yourself up long enough to see them. Experiencing set backs, does not make you loser. What matters is that you learn from your experiences, and keep going forward. I know it's hard. Try to be kinder to yourself. No more telling yourself you are a loser, k? Try reminding yourself of your good qualities, the good things in your life, do something you find relaxing for yourself, etc. Take a break if you need it, but please don't give up hope or quit trying.

Wishing you the best, Jan

Thanks guys. Right now, I'm just trying to keep working. I'm running on sheer willpower, not hope. I'm just forcing myself to do something about my problems even though it probably won't work.

I gotta tell you, it's hard. The last time I was like this was when I was in high school, and that turned out like crap. I sure hope this time it'll work out better. Right now, I'm in a lot of pain, but I'm trying to numb it.