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What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

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What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby TheCastleOf » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:39 pm

This is a question I've been having on my mind lately: what does recovery from c-ptsd look like? (Stole the idea from the mental illness forum)
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby seabreezeblue » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:48 pm

Nice question.

I think the answer is going to vary for all of us.. but ultimately, I guess I can call myself recovered when my symptoms are reduced to a level low enough to enable me to go out and about, form relationships, sleep.. laugh.

What symptoms have you still got TCO?
(if you don't mind the question oc..).

My biggest problem really is relationships.. but I'm slowly starting to trust myself.. my intuition, and my judgements, and as a side effect of that, being able to allow myself to trust others.
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..



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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby Terry E. » Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:17 pm

Obviously my issues are on the boards, but something Avatar123 said rings true. I don't think we never get over it. All we need is a strong enough trigger. We all have them. We may not realise exactly where they are, and if you had to name them I am betting you would miss them.

The thing is when you know the signs, and things move away from where you are comfortable, ask yourself why. We are our best resource.

I think the internet has been an extraordinary thing for us. Until a few years ago I had never met anyone else with my issues. I did not know I had C-PTSD. I was pushed towards the "tell me how you feel - but give me a moment first as I will put an order in for a new Porsche which I am sure you will be paying for". We were expected to teach them about it, through our own experience. Don't know if that does not sound f#$%ed to anyone else.

I have made more progress in the last 5 years than the previous 25.
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby TheCastleOf » Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:44 am

Thanks for your answers!!

seabreezeblue wrote:What symptoms have you still got TCO?
(if you don't mind the question oc..).


I don't mind.

This passage from Wikipedia is a good description of my cognitive issues during my teens and early 20s:
"difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of 'executive functions' such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with 'cause-effect' thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities."

More generally, my symptoms were mild dissociation (daydreaming), emotional instability (roller-coaster), somatization (I always hurt somewhere), hypervigilance, anxiety, lack of self-esteem ... Nowadays, I'm mildly anxious with short-lived peaks of stress. Half the time I'm relaxed which is something I'm new to.

I feel internally repaired but I haven't found my place in the world. On a professional level, I'm hopeful, but I also find relationships bewildering.

seabreezeblue wrote:My biggest problem really is relationships.. but I'm slowly starting to trust myself.. my intuition, and my judgements, and as a side effect of that, being able to allow myself to trust others.


Would you mind elaborating ?

Terry E. wrote:I think the internet has been an extraodinary thing for us. Until a few years ago I had never met anyone else with my issues.


You must have felt very isolated ?

Terry E. wrote:tell me how you feel - but give me a moment first as I will put an order in for a new Porsche which I am sure you will be paying for". We were expected to teach them about it, through our own experience. Don't know if that does not sound f#$%ed to anyone else.


That's not nice being made feel like a walking wallet. As another member put it: they're out there, the baddies!

My therapist taught me a few tricks. But in the long run, I agree that the Internet made the most difference. And books.
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby Terry E. » Fri Aug 11, 2017 3:24 am

TheCastleOf wrote:


Terry E. wrote:
I think the internet has been an extraordinary thing for us. Until a few years ago I had never met anyone else with my issues.


You must have felt very isolated ?






I actually did not feel isolated. I was a reasonable achiever at certain levels. Where I failed badly was as an employee. I could not work in teams. Would have been the same if I had ever done team sports. Was not comfortable in cubs (mini scouts). As an employee I did good work, actually very good, but always had issues with other staff and the boss. I did not trust anyone. I actually thought they were all stupid and naive to trust anyone.

I also did not want anyone. I partnered up basically as I was trying to fit in and not be weird. I had a fear of being "that weird old guy who lives alone". Funny thing is the only person I did not scare away was another survivor. Also why I found her fine even though all her other relationships had tended to end badly, sometimes spectacularly. I refer to it as lobbing grenades at the unexpected. They come from anywhere at anytime. Never worried me as I thrive in chaos.

So my life has been a little unusual and not a model for anyone else. It gives me insight, but not much else.

One of my things was and my children have picked it up. I always tried to be the guy in the background. The person people could not remember. I dressed for it, and acted that way. I was proud that I could spend an evening at a party talk and mingle and no one would know a thing about me when I left. (people love talking about themselves). The boys have both picked it up.

So I guess my isolation was deliberate and my socialization was forced.
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby TheCastleOf » Sat Aug 12, 2017 5:45 pm

I'm on the extraverted side, and a people person, you sound more introverted and aloof?

Yet there are a few things I can relate to. I think that when you're singled out as a child, you grow up feeling as an outcast. But there are silverlinings to growing up feeling like you can never belong: independence and also immunity to peer pressure.

Terry E. wrote:Funny thing is the only person I did not scare away was another survivor. Also why I found her fine even though all her other relationships had tended to end badly, sometimes spectacularly. I refer to it as lobbing grenades at the unexpected. They come from anywhere at anytime. Never worried me as I thrive in chaos.


You mean ... like James Bond?

It makes sense though. If you're the type who stays cool when $#%^ hits the fan, then you're going to need more stimulation to keep entertained!

Terry E. wrote:(people love talking about themselves)


Oh yes they do, lol.
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby Terry E. » Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:41 pm

TheCastleOf wrote:
I'm on the extraverted side, and a people person, you sound more introverted and aloof?



as a powerlifter my pyche routine was famous. ( I set up the state PL assn and quoted in the US as one of teh "fathers or Aust PL "). No I don't think anyone would say I am an introvert, I just hate to socialise
As a survivor you can be a compilation of contradictions.

It makes it hard to fit in as people don't really know how to deal with you.

am I happy with my life post childhood, absolutely. Am I normal no.
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby Terry E. » Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:51 pm

Not really giving a proper picture her.

I am having dinner with two friends who went to San Deigo Comic Con last month next Tuesday for a debrief. I am looking forward to it. We will talk comics, comic business, pop culture, comic art etc. I have known one for around 15 years. He owns the local chop and the other for a couple (she is into art) for a few.

So I like socializing but not with people I don;t know well or random people at parties weddings family gatherings (in-laws)

So I do it infrequently, targeted and enjoy it.
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Re: What does recovery from c-ptsd look like?

Postby TheCastleOf » Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:17 pm

Terry E. wrote:as a powerlifter my pyche routine was famous. ( I set up the state PL assn and quoted in the US as one of the "fathers or Aust PL ").


That's great ! You're the first powerlifter I meet ever !!

Terry E. wrote:No I don't think anyone would say I am an introvert, I just hate to socialise
As a survivor you can be a compilation of contradictions.


Indeed, that's how I feel anyway.

Terry E. wrote:I am having dinner with two friends who went to San Deigo Comic Con last month next Tuesday for a debrief. I am looking forward to it. We will talk comics, comic business, pop culture, comic art etc. I have known one for around 15 years. He owns the local chop and the other for a couple (she is into art) for a few.


Hope you guys have a great time!
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