Hi everyone,
Earlier this year I helped guide my now girlfriend through the end of an abusive relationship. She was lied to, screamed at, raped, and heavily manipulated by her ex over the course of roughly 3 years. Their relationship began to deteriorate after she found him cheating; she ended it completely when he severely beat her for apparently cheating on him (she was running errands). In that week or so I encouraged and helped her file a restraining order against him. A while after the order was served, she was diagnosed with PTSD.
So far, I have been her main source of support in the aftermath of a relationship that I've come to know had been complete hell for her. Over time she has opened up a lot to me and shared a great deal of what happened, how she felt, how she feels now, signs she missed, what she learned, and so on. And from what she tells me, everything is getting better with my help and presence.
But herein lies my problem and why I ask you all for help:
I know it's still very difficult for her. She still lives in the same general area surrounded by the same things that were present while they were together. She fears having to interact with her ex in person and by extension take up a job in the area. She says she has nightmares every single night about him. She tells me whenever she has a flashback, and what around her triggers it – never the content of the flashback itself.
The nature of what is going on in her head limits what I can do in terms of helping, so all I've done is to try and be understanding. I don't pressure her into discussions about what happened; I allow her to vent about it to me whenever she feels necessary. I listen to what she has to say without being overly critical. I give feedback wherever I can. We sometimes talk for hours. Sometimes she will just talk, and I'm always okay with that. I'm terrified for her though because there are times where she'll tell me that I simply don't understand what it's like to have a flashback, or deal with what she's fighting emotionally – as if there's no way for me to relate and console on any level. For me, it's heartbreaking to know that there's this destructive part of her that I'm apparently never going to be able to reach and influence.
What I ask you here is if there's anything I as her boyfriend can do in addition to what I've done. As someone who does not suffer from PTSD, what are some things I can do to be a better supporter for someone who does? Is there anything major I could possibly overlook?