Just another poem

I kiss my worries goodbye every night i go to sleep.

I look at moments in my life to keep.
I don`t waste my time on passion nor crime, but i do have a feeling for a guy.

Sometimes i feel as if he sits on my shoulder..just waiting to say «that`s what i told ya».

I never see him unless for goodbyes
I wonder why his name stops with a «why» ?

Painless i wonder without his agony.
Being scorn from his pain is a day without rain.

Being alive or being dead does not make a difference inside my head.

You live in denial and scorching trials, daily to make the ends meet and daily to find reason and daily to perceive and daily for denials and daily for contributions and daily for what stops and starts

where one thing begins another thing ends

where confusion is – we imagine worst case scenario and work against that and only that

I know you, you know me-lets plant a tree!

The tree grows old and carries fruit, the fruit is sweet and the right colour so we pick it when its just ripe.

We never pick too late or too soon.

We always leave some for the birds, so they can $#%^ on our house as a “thank you”.

We stay up long nights and go to bed early

We whisper even if nobody is there

“I love you, so why should I care”.

Explanations


Tears run down my face.
Happy memories fades away.
I am trying to retrace a happier place, where i can be myself and nobody else.
I am sorry for the pain i caused you.
Life shouldn`t be that way.
You are so spoilt it shines threw you even when you put on an unhappy face.
Our paths crossed that night when the stars looked so bright and i fell in love with you.
Tears are running from my eyes but you can`t see them.
I have stopped to cry infront of people because they make me even more sad.
I have stopped to wish for sunshine because i know someday its going to pour.
I have stopped to listen because i know the words will make me sad.
I have stopped to care because i know you don`t really care about me anymore.
I have stopped to smile because the tears started coming from my eyes when i smiled.
A smile only reminds me of everything.
Everything is difficult to explain.its like trying to explain how deep the ocean is by just looking at its surface.
Sometimes that`s all we want to do, just look at the calm surface of the ocean without knowing the dramas that unfold underneath it or how deep we would have to dive to reach to the bottom.

You push people up in corners, demand for their honesty.
You live life in happiness and expect everybody else to be happy too.
You smile even if you feel bad.
Yet you expect others to tell you it like it is.
Do you tell it like it is? The honesty? The truth?

When bad things happen to other people i have felt bad too.
For a long time i thought that the same thing should happen to me too, since i wasn`t there to prevent it in the first place.
I felt ashamed.
I still do. Even after all the examination and reason dealing.
Its like explaining to someone all the types of weather we can have, again and again, over and over.
"Its too late".
Never accepting the truth, the embarrassment, the tragedy for what it was and go on for other times and days and moments
I know neither you or he will be there for those moments, i have to live them for myself and nobody else
I guess that`s the only thing i really learned from him-its like when a soldier gets shoot at war and you were his friend, do you stop shooting because the bullets can kill you too?
For a long time i felt like a failure, not a good dialogue to have in your mind.

OUT OF MY HEAD


Not up for a debate its outside my head.
I have tried without lies but the lies came true
I fall but there`s no one to pick me up
I bleed and wish for the bleeding to stop
I smile because i think you are smiling too, even if you words sometimes seem blue

YOU MIGHT THINK

You might think i have date every night at eight.
When the honesty is that i lied.
You might think that i have friends who care,
when the honesty is that they don`t dare
You might think that i am happy as hell
when the honesty is i only dwell

ESCAPISM


The questions fill my mind as if i am running out of time.
Its like squeezing a lime.

The clock gets turned back to a place, back to retrace.
Another memory misplaced, another time another face.

The pieces come together to form a questionnaire
“Why did you do it why did you care?”

Answers linger on the tongue not ready to be given
time stops and the clock freeze
I see you stand there looking at me

I don`t like confrontations and try to escape you.

Don`t see why your depression should be in my way?
“Don`t you see that I am frail?”

Our paths cross for eternity
Even when the clocks...

Nice work Are they all yours?

Yes. I am not a pro but i like to write.