I am a mom to an 8 month old baby girl. I am not married but in a long term relationship with the father. The stress of parenting, has us both stressed and at each other's throats....we are trying to get through this, but I am having a terribly hard time. Please before any judgement know I do love my daughter, I miss her when shes not with me, and I woulnd't change it.
I miss my old life, I miss the freedom, I miss going out with my boyfriend on a whim, I miss traveling, or getting into the car not worrying about anything, I miss it all. I feel so terrible even saying these things, I want to get over it because I love her and I love sharing memories and moments with her. What I miss most is being with my partner, we go out seperately because most of the things he does are last minute and too last minute for a babysitter, or he likes to stay out much later than a babysitter is willing to stay so I have to end up staying back. Maybe what makes it hard is having a partner who also misses all the things I do, but he does them still. He still goes out last minute with his friends, stays out until 4 am when he does (once or twice a month), he still plans last minute beach trips with his friends, or goes on work trips, or to see his family in another country. He still gets to the gym every other night or every night. He still meets people. I do get out to see my friends, but I always have being a mom on my mind, I cna't stay out later or be too tired, or go too far, always worried about her.
I wish I had someone who didn't want to go out, just wanted to be a family and once a month meet up with his guys but hes almost 40 and still likes to go to the club or bar hop with his buddies. I feel like I am forcing him to stay in with us, it's beginning to effect my outlook on life.
I just want to learn to be happy and look at life for what it is, appreciate what I have, maybe know it's "normal" to miss and mourn my old life. I just feel that the death of my old life, and spontineity will also be the "death" of my relationship because he is such a free spirit, that this life doesn't allow for what we once had and what we fell in love with.
I don't have much leave from work, and it is hard to plan and travel with a baby. Especially last minute.