Sharing my insight into fetishes (coprophilia, bestiality)

I'd like to give you some insight into the fetishes I have. Before I do so however, I'd like to point out that I consider this to be abnormal behavior and in no way do I encourage it. I consider myself a sick person and have come to deal with it. Further I'd like to say that I have never hat sexual intercourse with an animal and don't plan on doing it. It is a fantasy of mine that will remain in my room and will not extend on to do anything I may regret.

I've seen many posts on this forum requesting some insight into the minds of these sick people. What drives them to think like this? What causes it in the first place? Is there a cure? Is it correct? Since I am one of these people, I hope to shed some light on these questions.

I'm an 18 year old male with a highly technical mind. I have a total of 2 fetishes, namely coprophilia (the sexual attraction to feces) and bestiality (the sexual attraction to non-human species, horses and cows seem to be the only animals though).

The roots

I've given a lot of thought to where I went wrong in my past, and I'm convinced the whole thing can be tracked right back to when I was just about 6 years old. There were 2 things that happened to me. The first thing was that I had Asperger Syndrome (still have it, but I've worked on it and it has faded). I would do nothing else in my free time other than construct things with Mechano, Lego, Bionicle, Knex etc. I even learned how to solder and use electronic components back then. I loved the stuff, still do.

One fateful day I went on a Kindergarten excursion to visit a farm and see some animals. This is the second thing that I believe caused all of this. I was there, walking through the barn amongst hundreds of cows with the rest of the children. The cows were arranged in neat rows on both sides of the path we were walking on, all of them facing away from us, exposing their rear ends.

And that's where it happened. A pooping cow caught my attention. For reasons I cannot explain to this day I was completely fixed on the beautiful, runny liquid pouring out of its anus. The way it glistened in the light, the way it splashed on impact with the ground, the way the anus tightened, reducing the flow of poo to nothing more than a trickle, which oozed down over the pert vagina... The way the smooth skin rippled as the cow shifted weight, swishing its tail in the air, smudging the poo all over its behind...

I did not understand what I felt back then, and to be honest, I can't remember. I certainly didn't know anything about sex or fetishes, but I can tell you that my heart fluttered, and there's no other way to put it: My penis went erect. If I were in such a situation today, it would still would.

So that was the big trigger of my coprophilia and possibly bestiality. I have no idea what lead up to it or why I felt that why, and I did not do much about it since then, because hey, I didn't understand anything about it.

There were some other minor incidences afterwards where I did abnormal things, for example I farted into a mirror and watched how my anus would open, but that scared me off more than it made me aroused.

Puberty

As puberty hit (I was 13 by then) I started to explore these aspects more. It started off by squishing inanimate objects between my butt oxes, that seemed to get me erect. However, I didn't know anything about having an orgasm yet, that happened much later on. The objects stuck there just felt good for some reason.

This developed over time, before long I started pooping with the objects stuck there, and then I just enjoyed the feeling of having poo stuck there. I would usually sit on it, or poo while I was sitting on a surface to make it go all squishy.

One day I filmed myself pooping on my bed while lying on my stomach and the bed sheets pushing up against my penis caused my first orgasm. I was kind of shocked at the feeling - I had no idea what that was - but as time progressed I explored further and was able to take control of it (masturbation).

Bestiality

So where does bestiality come in to this whole thing? It started much later where I got interested in seeing animals poo as well. I don't know why, but I loved watching cows poo. I found videos on youtube and all of that and was satisfied for a while.

I can't remember what lead up to it, but I started watching horses and cows mate, and soon after that I began watching videos of humans doing it with horses and cows.

Can this be linked with my trigger when I was 6? Possibly.

Me today

I still like the feeling of poo squishing on my butt, but unlike most coprophilians I don't like smearing it or eating it. I guess I'm not that screwed up after all if I compare myself to some of the more severe cases.

I've been watching less and less videos regarding bestiality, now it's mostly just the "normal porn", coprophilia videos, animal mating videos, and animal defecation videos. One of my newer obsessions is explicit Furry art, which is pretty close to bestiality.

What drives them to think like this? What causes it in the first place?

So with all of that history out of the way, it's time to answer those questions.

I'm still not entirely sure why I like it. It's a deep rooted feeling which has developed over 12 years and I can't just deny it, so I've accepted it as part of who I am.

Is it correct?

Is my doing correct/wrong? In my opinion, neither. It's not correct because it certainly isn't standard and is categorized as a sexual dysfunction. It's not wrong either, because I haven't harmed anyone with my activities and it brings me pleasure, so why should I punish myself for something that makes me happy?

Is there a cure?

The short answer to this: No. I really don't see any way to cure this, it's too deep.

The long answer is a counter question: Why would I want to cure it? The fact is, I don't see any need to cure this, I feel it has its place and I get great enjoyment out of it. As long as I don't harm anyone or anything, I see no reason to take action against it.

Conclusion

Just to sum it all up, I believe the trigger was that pooping cow in the barn when I was 6, and I think it's acceptable to practice fetishes as long as they don't harm anyone/anything.

What are your thoughts on this? Can anyone share any part of this?

im a zoophile I feel attracted to dolphins one in particular I have not tried anything nor am I going to but she did offer one night I wanted to but I knew it was against the law so I left when I came back we still would hang together but she seemed a bit less hyperactive and had a particular sadness in her eyes I felt terrible she asked me to be with her romantically and I denied her sometimes I think of if things were different if we were allowed to be together romantically if I could I would swap my vocal cords and ears drums to learn how they communicate even if it meant not being able to understand a human again just so that I could tell her I love her....

my trigger was her and I still love her to this day but I can never tell her

This is not implying that I will get involved physically not unless there is a change in the law

Are you using the word "romantically" when you mean "sexually"? Because, I might be narrow-minded. But romance is the candlelight and stars aspect of a relationship. And while it's possible to have romantic sex. The two things are not interchangeable terms.

yeah the only time I think of it as romantic is because its the only way to tell her I love her other then visiting everyday and ever since then she has been less active and I feel I might have broke her heart if it was legal I would but I can't I am thinking of not visiting her anymore because I believe I have hurt her enough the only thing that makes me continue visiting is because some dolphins commit suicide when one part of there life is gone if you do find another way for me to tell her I love her please tell me cause I do not think I can stand to break her heart any longer I will have to leave her if this continues

please respond soon

I am a gay man with an intense sexual attraction to male feces. I have tried to understand why I have this sort of fetish. Not only am I interested in other men's feces but I also have masturbation interludes with my own feces, and I have a membership in a website that is for gay men with my tastes. I do not consider it a debilitating fetish, but over the years it has caused me some concern. The only trigger that I can remember is that when I first went to school (first grade) I was particularly embarrassed when I had a defecation accident on the way home from school while riding on the bus, and it smelled and I was the object of some cruel taunts from other students on the bus. At the time I was not sexually aroused by the defecation, but later in life when I discovered masturbation, I would insert various objects into my anus for the express purpose of pulling out feces. Why am I like this? What has caused this? I have kept it a secret for so many years and have had no sexual encounters other than masturbation with this fetish. I do not eat the feces, as is shown sometimes in the website I visit. I strictly am attracted to the smell and the act of smearing it all over my body. The sexual rush is so intense sometimes just the act of smearing causes me to climax without touching myself. Why, Why, Why? I don't understand it at all. If there are any other persons in my situation, I would love to hear from them.

notnamed, I'm sorry to hear your story. It breaks my heart, knowing that you love her but can't find ways to tell her I'm not an expert on dolphins, but giving her affection (in a legal way) should make her feel happy and loved. Dolphins are very sensitive.

firehouse...sometimes we don't know what the root of our fetish is. Maybe we'll never know why we're attracted to something specific. I'm attracted to blood, for example, and recently found out an interest in vomit. Do I know why? Nope. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it's fine.
Just one question, if you don't mind: how safe is that? Isn't there a risk of infection?

-- Sat Nov 08, 2014 8:49 pm --

notnamed, I'm sorry to hear your story. It breaks my heart, knowing that you love her but can't find ways to tell her I'm not an expert on dolphins, but giving her affection (in a legal way) should make her feel happy and loved. Dolphins are very sensitive.

firehouse...sometimes we don't know what the root of our fetish is. Maybe we'll never know why we're attracted to something specific. I'm attracted to blood, for example, and recently found out an interest in vomit. Do I know why? Nope. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it's fine.
Just one question, if you don't mind: how safe is that? Isn't there a risk of infection?

My fetishes are different from yours but the origins sound similar. My fetish is masochism/humiliation. When I was 8 there was a boy in my class who was poorly dressed and his pants were too loose fitting so he was constantly exposing his underwear and in my view he was humiliating himself. I enjoyed making fun of this boy and considered myself superior to him. Shockingly one day the negative feelings I had against him turned around and started attacking me, I was suddenly jealous that he was getting the pleasure of humiliating himself and I began unzipping and unbuttoning my pants on purpose pretending it was an accident so that my underwear was constantly exposed to my classmates just as he had done. I can't even begin to describe how good this felt and yes I had an erection doing this. I also experienced what you called that fluttering in the chest.

After that experience I did other things to humiliate myself. I would sit in the front yard when I needed to have a bowel movement and I would hold the feces inside of me. The next day my older sister told me that the high school boys in her class told her on the school bus that her brother (me) was holding in his poop while sitting outside in the front yard in front of the neighbors. I of course rushed to deny this but it was completely true, they saw me and I knew that and I felt humiliated and I had to resist the urge to do it again the next day. There was a voice in my head telling me to keep doing it, telling me that being humiliated like that was an absolute heaven of pleasure but I resisted the temptation. Since that time my fetishes have evolved into other kinds of humiliation, small penis humiliation, crossdressing humiliation, forced homosexuality humiliation, etc...but I know this chain of events started with my hatred of that boy and how I viewed him as humiliating himself. And somehow in the process it turned around and smacked me and I have wanted to be humiliated ever since then. It isn't something I can get rid of either. Being humiliated arouses me more than anything in the world.

KevinG31 wrote,

"...but I know this chain of events started with my hatred of that boy and how I viewed him as humiliating himself. And somehow in the process it turned around and smacked me and I have wanted to be humiliated ever since then."

This is interesting! I have a similar history: When I was in Grade 1, a neighbour boy who had been bullying me followed me home, threatening me all the way. When we got to my front yard, he stopped, pooped a big turd into his pants, and shook it down his pant leg onto our lawn.

I never told my parents about that incident. Not long after that, I myself had an "accident" while I was playing. My mom was baking in the kitchen, and I went in there and climbed up on a counter to watch her. She soon noticed an door that wasn't an apple pie. I don't remember subsequent details, but I know she cleaned me up without a fuss and behaved like the loving mother she was.

Skip forward half a dozen years: For some time, I had been having "anal thoughts," which I now realize were inchoate daydreams of inserting objects into my anus. One Sunday morning, after being bullied by two brothers in Sunday school, I begged off attending church service with my parents and walked home. I needed to poop, and thought "Why not poop in my pants?" And I did, just a little, and masturbated. Within a year, I had found a pair of cast off panties that had belonged to my sister. I was home alone, and in a trice I stripped my clothes off, put the panties on, and both pooped and peed in the panties, then engaged in my first poop-smearing experience. I was well and thoroughly hooked. I am several decades older now, and I don't think I have ever failed to engage in these fetishes when I had the opportunity. My wife and three psychologists know about my fetishes, and I am not nearly as ashamed of them as I was; I understand them as a part of my sexuality which I didn't ask for, don't really want, but desperately need nearly every day, sometimes two or three times a day.

I have often wondered, like all fetishists, why this happened to me. Clearly, that early experience with the bully is a key. (My panties fetish has another source.) And it was only with my reading of KevinG31's post that the humiliation idea surfaced. I remember despising that bully. Yet, it wasn't many years before I was emulating him. In the last year, I've begun what amounts to roleplaying, pretending to be the bully: I poop in my panties, and then walk back and forth in my apartment hallway, having my turds drop down my pant legs onto the floor, and even picking the turds up, putting them back in my panties, and going through the scenario again and again. Clean-up is hard, of course, but the surge of endorphins that comes with that scenario can't be denied. To me, there is no more wonderful sensation than walking with full pants and then having the poop slide down my legs. I even like some aspects of the clean-up.

So, should I add humiliation, which seems to be a form of masochism, to my "stable" of fetishes? I think so. I certainly do feel what must be humiliation, which is why I try so hard to keep my secrets, even from my wife who knows what I do when she's not home (and sometimes when she is, which is hard to do in a small apartment!). It would also explain why I generally avoid close relationships with people; deep down I don't feel very worthy of any "normal" person's company, even though I know that is more a self-judgment than a reflection of reality.

Other

I just create account to post that message. (sorry for my english, but i don't want play with google trans and that stuff )

bramble@
You have the nearest life experience to me that i ever read.
In my cause, when i was maybe 6-7 i just walk with my mother and dog do forest - and my foot stuck in mud hole. I remember that i was fascinated because i just see fantastic 4 or something like that mud monster - and i wanted be like him. Dive and became mud monster - i was 6 yo remember

First scat/ copro situation and i thing the only one until 19, was when i had 10 years. I just curious how it is to "crap my pants". I just do it and I like it - that all. No masturbation on something like that.

When i had 12, i discover masturbation and until now i masturbate around 4-5 time a day (when i have 12 -13 i masturbate around 11 per day ^^ ) but except hight sexual needs nothing special shows.

I always was open minded person and when i was 17 i started use internet (i don't have computer until 15 and internet to 17 ) when i try find any MILF to my first time. I found one woman, but we became friend, she give me job to paint her house. She had female dog (name her Sita) and i remember like today. I just finished painting when Sita come to me to just look what i doing, I was really horny then (long work without masturbation break etc). And i was interesting what that dog have under tail, how looks female dog vagina. Sita stand next to my leg and just don't move. I was thingking about that but i say "why not" and i check how looks her vag + i stick my finger inside her (she don't move or something). That was my first and only right now bestiality (or i should said zoophilia) act.

I dream about sex with male dog all over time - maybe because I slave type person and i like anal plays?(i always pref one good friend than many but anonymous persons - maybe because i don't have any kinds to play ? Family house neighbourhood and no kinds at all - only me, my bother 1,5 y older and big garden - that was my childhood). Anyway i thing that come from that i want to feel like really slave - i want to be rape by wild primal creature (no feelings, no emotional stuff, just pure pleasure and sex ).

Coprozoophilia: i just like play with cow $#%^ because cow make it a loooot and it have nice structure, that all (and don't smell like dog fec ). I feel then like worm or something like that - nothing more than simple worm on grass (i know how its sound but i don't know how say that in another word).

Conclusion in my cause:
I have 25 years, with many fetish where same thing is "being humiliate and used like sexual toy": latex, slave type play, anal play, enemas, coprophilia, zoophilia and public sex. I graduate university, I have 2 ex GF and since 5 years my future fiancée. I'm happy addicted from masturbation person with normally IQ (121 - i write about that because many sexual magazines write about coprophil and zoophil people like a low IQ or emotional dysfunctional kind of person). I have few friends (great girs and guys ) and great contact with my parents and brother. I always like animals (especially dog - i had one sausage-dog? that you call it ? ) and nature.
Once agains sorry for my English, but if i copy that to google then probably I will delete all