OnTheTurningAway wrote:I don't entirely agree with Gina. In my estimation, THE most important facet of ANY relationship is trust. If my partner breached a boundary that I have a distinct line drawn in the sand, then I'm afraid I would terminate the relationship. I could never respect them again. In this instance, I guess you have to decide what you can live with. In my view, this case would be different if he were ONLY perusing anilmal porn online, but to cross over into production of a video is a whole other story. Not only is it illegal, it's a form of cheating. I know that sounds idiotic but it is most definitely how I see it. Perhaps that is a legacy of my own baggage at once being married to a lying troll. Probably. However, for me, the idea that my partner allowed their genitalia (or other body part) to come in contact with the genitalia of an animal would repulse me. I don't think I could erase that from my mind.
SnakeskinSoul wrote:I would like to start by saying that this is a topic I have researched extensively, due to a novel I am writing. I'd like to think I have some insight on it.
1. Yes, there are some hygiene issues, but unless we're talking zoonotic diseases... then it's not necessarily unhygienic. Most animals, as long as they are well cared for, aren't that dirty.
2. Obviously, I would think the main problem would be the idea of harm. Is he harming anyone? Is he harming the animals involved? If he's boinking chickens or cats, then answer is, most likely, yes. And THAT is a problem, because ALL of the zoophiles I have interviewed were adamant about not harming animals. It crosses into sexual zoosadism, which is MUCH different than zoophilia. If it's larger dogs, horses, etc, then it's quite possible he isn't causing harm. And no, zoophilia doesn't innately cause harm, so it is very important to be reasonable and figure out the level of harm being caused.
3. If there is no harm being caused, then I strongly advise you to talk to him before you even think of taking legal action. If he is turned into the police, his entire life could be ruined... and they could put any animals of his to sleep. That is not okay, if he isn't causing harm. But I do think you two need to talk, and I do think you are right in being uncomfortable. That said...
4. Please try and have some compassion. Zoophilia is pretty much spat upon in society, and punishment can be severe for conduct that might not deserve harsh treatment.
5. Realize that he will probably get defensive. One, you found something of his that he probably was trying to hide from you. Two, he probably was trying to hide it from you because it's a part of his life that he doesn't know how to explain to you. Three, this is something that could get him in serious trouble; people tend to not share that sort of information with others. He's going to feel exposed, and possibly like he's in danger... because unless you FOR SURE won't turn him into the police, or turn him into someone who would, his life IS in danger.
And maybe it SHOULD be, if he's really harming animals, but if he's not... It's something to carefully consider. I despise people who hurt animals, but after 5+ years of researching, it's not always the case. I advise you to do some research yourself, figure out what you're going to say, look up the local laws, and then calmly bring up the subject. Make it clear that you found the material by accident, and that you aren't going to judge him harshly for it, but you want to understand and are concerned for the well-being of everyone involved-- him, the animals and yourself.
I hope this helps a bit. I wish you the best of luck.
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