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I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

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I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby esona » Fri May 11, 2012 3:50 pm

I love my boyfriend but I recently stumbled upon several explicit animal videos on his computer. One a homemade video of himself. He is a really nice guy but I don't feel comfortable with this. Everything else in our life is normal but now i cant look at him the same way. What can I do?
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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby GinaSmith » Fri May 11, 2012 6:39 pm

Well, there's one element in any relationship that is crucial, and that is communication. You need to talk openly about this. It may be that he gets off on the taboo element, it may be that he's attracted to animals, but he is still a human being, and a nice one at that (by your own description). Talk with him and don't set any expectations of yourself when you do so. Don't feel pressured, like you must feel instantly comfortable with it. But do communicate calmly and with an open mind.
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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby OnTheTurningAway » Fri May 11, 2012 10:51 pm

I don't entirely agree with Gina. In my estimation, THE most important facet of ANY relationship is trust. If my partner breached a boundary that I have a distinct line drawn in the sand, then I'm afraid I would terminate the relationship. I could never respect them again. In this instance, I guess you have to decide what you can live with. In my view, this case would be different if he were ONLY perusing anilmal porn online, but to cross over into production of a video is a whole other story. Not only is it illegal, it's a form of cheating. I know that sounds idiotic but it is most definitely how I see it. Perhaps that is a legacy of my own baggage at once being married to a lying troll. Probably. However, for me, the idea that my partner allowed their genitalia (or other body part) to come in contact with the genitalia of an animal would repulse me. I don't think I could erase that from my mind.
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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby keeley » Sat May 12, 2012 6:41 pm

OnTheTurningAway wrote:I don't entirely agree with Gina. In my estimation, THE most important facet of ANY relationship is trust. If my partner breached a boundary that I have a distinct line drawn in the sand, then I'm afraid I would terminate the relationship. I could never respect them again. In this instance, I guess you have to decide what you can live with. In my view, this case would be different if he were ONLY perusing anilmal porn online, but to cross over into production of a video is a whole other story. Not only is it illegal, it's a form of cheating. I know that sounds idiotic but it is most definitely how I see it. Perhaps that is a legacy of my own baggage at once being married to a lying troll. Probably. However, for me, the idea that my partner allowed their genitalia (or other body part) to come in contact with the genitalia of an animal would repulse me. I don't think I could erase that from my mind.


I agree with you, I mean, would you put up with a partner making a homemade porn with another person?

It makes it worse that its with an animal, in the hygiene sense of it.
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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby SnakeskinSoul » Mon May 14, 2012 4:29 am

I would like to start by saying that this is a topic I have researched extensively, due to a novel I am writing. I'd like to think I have some insight on it.

1. Yes, there are some hygiene issues, but unless we're talking zoonotic diseases... then it's not necessarily unhygienic. Most animals, as long as they are well cared for, aren't that dirty.

2. Obviously, I would think the main problem would be the idea of harm. Is he harming anyone? Is he harming the animals involved? If he's boinking chickens or cats, then answer is, most likely, yes. And THAT is a problem, because ALL of the zoophiles I have interviewed were adamant about not harming animals. It crosses into sexual zoosadism, which is MUCH different than zoophilia. If it's larger dogs, horses, etc, then it's quite possible he isn't causing harm. And no, zoophilia doesn't innately cause harm, so it is very important to be reasonable and figure out the level of harm being caused.

3. If there is no harm being caused, then I strongly advise you to talk to him before you even think of taking legal action. If he is turned into the police, his entire life could be ruined... and they could put any animals of his to sleep. That is not okay, if he isn't causing harm. But I do think you two need to talk, and I do think you are right in being uncomfortable. That said...

4. Please try and have some compassion. Zoophilia is pretty much spat upon in society, and punishment can be severe for conduct that might not deserve harsh treatment.

5. Realize that he will probably get defensive. One, you found something of his that he probably was trying to hide from you. Two, he probably was trying to hide it from you because it's a part of his life that he doesn't know how to explain to you. Three, this is something that could get him in serious trouble; people tend to not share that sort of information with others. He's going to feel exposed, and possibly like he's in danger... because unless you FOR SURE won't turn him into the police, or turn him into someone who would, his life IS in danger.

And maybe it SHOULD be, if he's really harming animals, but if he's not... It's something to carefully consider. I despise people who hurt animals, but after 5+ years of researching, it's not always the case. I advise you to do some research yourself, figure out what you're going to say, look up the local laws, and then calmly bring up the subject. Make it clear that you found the material by accident, and that you aren't going to judge him harshly for it, but you want to understand and are concerned for the well-being of everyone involved-- him, the animals and yourself.

I hope this helps a bit. I wish you the best of luck.
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- Ghandi

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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby OnTheTurningAway » Mon May 14, 2012 6:13 am

SnakeskinSoul wrote:I would like to start by saying that this is a topic I have researched extensively, due to a novel I am writing. I'd like to think I have some insight on it.

1. Yes, there are some hygiene issues, but unless we're talking zoonotic diseases... then it's not necessarily unhygienic. Most animals, as long as they are well cared for, aren't that dirty.

2. Obviously, I would think the main problem would be the idea of harm. Is he harming anyone? Is he harming the animals involved? If he's boinking chickens or cats, then answer is, most likely, yes. And THAT is a problem, because ALL of the zoophiles I have interviewed were adamant about not harming animals. It crosses into sexual zoosadism, which is MUCH different than zoophilia. If it's larger dogs, horses, etc, then it's quite possible he isn't causing harm. And no, zoophilia doesn't innately cause harm, so it is very important to be reasonable and figure out the level of harm being caused.

3. If there is no harm being caused, then I strongly advise you to talk to him before you even think of taking legal action. If he is turned into the police, his entire life could be ruined... and they could put any animals of his to sleep. That is not okay, if he isn't causing harm. But I do think you two need to talk, and I do think you are right in being uncomfortable. That said...

4. Please try and have some compassion. Zoophilia is pretty much spat upon in society, and punishment can be severe for conduct that might not deserve harsh treatment.

5. Realize that he will probably get defensive. One, you found something of his that he probably was trying to hide from you. Two, he probably was trying to hide it from you because it's a part of his life that he doesn't know how to explain to you. Three, this is something that could get him in serious trouble; people tend to not share that sort of information with others. He's going to feel exposed, and possibly like he's in danger... because unless you FOR SURE won't turn him into the police, or turn him into someone who would, his life IS in danger.

And maybe it SHOULD be, if he's really harming animals, but if he's not... It's something to carefully consider. I despise people who hurt animals, but after 5+ years of researching, it's not always the case. I advise you to do some research yourself, figure out what you're going to say, look up the local laws, and then calmly bring up the subject. Make it clear that you found the material by accident, and that you aren't going to judge him harshly for it, but you want to understand and are concerned for the well-being of everyone involved-- him, the animals and yourself.

I hope this helps a bit. I wish you the best of luck.

Hi,
I'd just like to point out here that her boyfriend isn't the victim... she is! Your post trangresses into the justification of the act based on the consequences for the animal. I'm pretty sure at this point in time that THAT is the least of the OP's worries. As I said earlier, it would be an entirely different scenario if her b/f was only perusing animal related porn. However, he was producing his own behind her back... BIG difference!
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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby SnakeskinSoul » Mon May 14, 2012 7:17 am

I didn't say anyone was or wasn't a victim; I don't seek to justify, nor do I seek to condemn. I was simply explaining a point of view, from what I have learned from various real-life sources. The OP seemed concerned about her boyfriend, herself and their relationship, and I was hoping to give a little insight that might help them communicate as calmly as possible, with as much understanding as possible. I think they need to talk, and there are several things to consider when talking to someone who is engaging in behavior like this.
All through history, the ways of truth and love have always won.
- Ghandi

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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby Hollz » Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:31 pm

Communication and trust are both vital to a strong relationship. But the element of compromise is also important. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss the issue that you have and see if there is anything that can be done. Have some ideas of possible solutions ahead of time and talk about those as well. The only thing to be careful of is that your suggestions are not too pushy to where he feels threatened and rejected. But you also want to make sure that your needs are met. If there is no way to compromise on this topic, then perhaps it's time to move on. Best of Luck!!!
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Re: I just found out my boyfriend is into beastiality.Help?

Postby EnzaiLady » Sun Dec 02, 2012 8:52 pm

First thing to do is talk to him, but be gentle about it, because he's most likely going to feel shame and embarrassment about the situation.
I personally wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as the animal he was having these relations with wasn't harmed in any way.
You may want to try and warn him about one major problem, which is the law.
If he were to post that video of him online, it might get traced back to him eventually.
Not saying it will, since the internet isn't as heavily regulated as the media implies. Tell him not to risk it again.
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