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Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

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Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby 322 » Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:16 am

This is something that has bothered me for years, trying to figure out just what my thoughts and "urges" meant. If you read my thread here: http://www.psychforums.com/paraphilias/topic68447.html you will see that I did not want to look at those pictures. I did not even find them as arousing as I used too, and yet I could not bring myself to immediately stop. I wanted to see all of them, and I don't know why. I felt like I could not control myself.

When I see a child, whether in public or a family member, I always imagine them naked. I look at them and I visualize them in sexual situations. I want to keep looking at them, even though I know I shouldn't, just look with CP. I don't believe I actually want to have sex with a child, I'm just afraid that, like with CP, I won't be able to stop myself.

So, my question, like in the subject, is:

Do you want to have sex with children?
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby Borgesius » Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:39 am

Kinda depends what you mean by want. Certainly I'm driven to have sex with kids in the way that being a pedophile entails, ie I'm attracted to them and that fills the criteria to some extent. I have no intention of having sex with a child though, which may be closer to what you mean?
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby AnonymousAndy » Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:46 am

I relate and feel the same way you do, 332. If I'm totally honest, I do want to have "sex" with, a 5 year old boy, and I admit it -- but it's something I cannot have, no ifs ands or buts; and if I "slip" it will ruin not only my life but a little, adorable kid's...not to mention his family's. :( It's not easy at all, and I've only felt this way after going through a lot, but I feel my attractions are my lot in life and I just have to play the cards I'm dealt.

I try to find legal and appropriate things to fill that empty space that are fulfilling, even if it's not 100% what I would like. I can usually find things that make me almost as happy as being around kids. :) Been doing pretty well with it -- and have been in a relationship 3 years now. I never thought I would say that. :)

It is possible to live with this and ways to live comfortably. :) At least from my experience, you have to live with it rather than against it. Like instead of forcing yourself to never look at a kid in public (a futile act, perhaps), maybe look to the count of 3 and then look away. It releases the pressure value feeling I can get by thinking "don't look, don't look, don't look."
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby GinaSmith » Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:33 pm

I think the question only seems complicated because it assumes a black-and-white picture of desire - either you want something or you don't. Desires are in conflict. I am reminded of an example in Plato where a man wishes to quench his thirst at a pool, but knows the water is dirty. His desire to drink and his desire not to drink are at odds.
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby dan1966 » Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:35 pm

No. I have too much to lose in my life for a stupid attempt to quench a deviant sexual desire. That's what this is....a short term attempt to quench something that's not normal or should be a part of your life.
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby Blben » Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:33 am

I want to have sex with children all the time but I know that I cannot and will not because it will ruin that childs life and it will do the same to mine. I look at pictures all the time that help me deal with my desires without actually going out and having sex with a young child. I don't think that I could ever actually do it, I think if I were in that situation no matter how much the lust and the desire was there I just couldn't bring myself to acting on those desires. Guilt and so many other feelings would come into play that I couldn't follow through. I am exclusively attracted to boys and girls and its all I really want but I know that I can never have it in my life. :(
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby Shrink Rap » Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:59 am

Blben wrote:I want to have sex with children all the time but I know that I cannot and will not because it will ruin that childs life

I take it you don't mean that because your sexual performance is so horrible, so why do you say that?

I look at pictures all the time that help me deal with my desires without actually going out and having sex with a young child.

This is a good testimony to the reasons that mere possession and viewing of kiddy porn for personal use (as is legal in British Columbia) should not be punishable by law.
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby Platypus » Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:42 pm

Shrink Rap wrote:
Blben wrote:I want to have sex with children all the time but I know that I cannot and will not because it will ruin that childs life

I take it you don't mean that because your sexual performance is so horrible, so why do you say that?

I didn't have trouble understanding Bilben's comment. It makes sense to me. Of course the word "ruin" is subjective, but I think unlike you Shrink Rap, most people believe that sex between an adult and a child would be detrimental to the child.
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby Shrink Rap » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:48 am

Platypus wrote:
Shrink Rap wrote:
Blben wrote:I want to have sex with children all the time but I know that I cannot and will not because it will ruin that childs life

I take it you don't mean that because your sexual performance is so horrible, so why do you say that?

I didn't have trouble understanding Bilben's comment. It makes sense to me. Of course the word "ruin" is subjective, but I think unlike you Shrink Rap, most people believe that sex between an adult and a child would be detrimental to the child.

I am aware of your views on the subject, so in this case I was asking blben for his which I am sure he is capable of expressing himself. Even if you and he agree, how do you know it is for the same reasons? I'd really appreciate it if you'd allow him to answer the question directed specifically at him. I hope you don't mind,

In any event, the beliefs to which you refer are exactly those which were not substantiated by Rind et al's definitive meta-analysis of the subject (which is why I am interested in how people get their ideas on the subject).

Rind et al wrote:Basic beliefs about CSA in the general population were not supported.
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Re: Pedophiles- Do You WANT To Have Sex With Children?

Postby Platypus » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:54 am

Shrink Rap wrote:I am aware of your views on the subject, so in this case I was asking blben for his which I am sure he is capable of expressing himself. Even if you and he agree, how do you know it is for the same reasons? I'd really appreciate it if you'd allow him to answer the question directed specifically at him. I hope you don't mind,

ShrinkRap, I think you misunderstand me. I have no reason to believe that Bilben and I share the same opinion. My objection is with the manner in which you asked Bilben and not the fact that you asked him.
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