More attracted to death and murder

cumulusjames wrote:

ElKahn wrote:I am attracted to murdering some people too....not sexually but sadistically. Also torture.

How comes? Is it just something inside of you or do you think there were things that drove your personal psychology in this direction?

Do you ever feel you want to get rid of this way of thinking or are you comfortable with it?

I think there were things that made me like this. I was bullied as a child. I had to grow a thick skin over time. Some things just made me grow up to be a narcissist, and to be violent, to be taken seriously.

ElKahn wrote:

cumulusjames wrote:

ElKahn wrote:I am attracted to murdering some people too....not sexually but sadistically. Also torture.

How comes? Is it just something inside of you or do you think there were things that drove your personal psychology in this direction?

Do you ever feel you want to get rid of this way of thinking or are you comfortable with it?

I think there were things that made me like this. I was bullied as a child. I had to grow a thick skin over time. Some things just made me grow up to be a narcissist, and to be violent, to be taken seriously.

So if such a treatment were available to "cure" (for want of a better word) you of this would you take it or would you feel like you were losing something of yourself?

Are you violent to people?

cumulusjames wrote:So if such a treatment were available to "cure" (for want of a better word) you of this would you take it or would you feel like you were losing something of yourself?

Are you violent to people?

I'm comfortable with my way of thinking. It also makes me feel powerful. I wouldn't want to fix it. I'd feel like I would lose a huge part of me, since I've been angry most of my life. And I still am.

I'm not being violent lately but I've been violent in the past and I can easily get violent if circumstances allow me to be, and when I get really mad or feel threatened (physically), it's like some kind of black fog enters my mind and I don't care who's in front of me, around me or whatever, I just attack the person and if fists and kicks are not enough, I start grabbing objects so I know for sure I can hurt them.
So yeah I'd say I can get very violent if I feel really threatened or mad.

That's perhaps not conducive to a happy life?

I would say it's equal, I like sex, but there is that other side. I sometimes imagine attacking people and then seeing their corpse. Also I have recurring thoughts of ripping the throat out of somebody violently with my teeth. There are all kinds of bullying, (imagine whites vs. slaves or anything where somebody is perhaps powerless) so I would not discount the threat of death. It's a very cruel, violent, and bloody world and yet people can be very childlike at times, but not what you think a "loved" child is like. Sorry if my post sounds disturbing or threatening as it's not.

ElKahn wrote:I am attracted to murdering some people too....not sexually but sadistically. Also torture.

I can relate to this!

You guys just sound like you let your anger get the better of you.

Unlike some of you, I'm not motivated by anger. I feel no emotion at all towards the people I want to kill. They are merely objects that I have a desire to control, torture and kill. They are insignificant as living, breathing human beings.

Dark Soul wrote:You guys just sound like you let your anger get the better of you.

Unlike some of you, I'm not motivated by anger. I feel no emotion at all towards the people I want to kill. They are merely objects that I have a desire to control, torture and kill. They are insignificant as living, breathing human beings.

Same here. Otherwise I wouldn't kill them in the first place. I have no sympathy or compassion or empathy or whatever towards people I want to kill or torture. The only thing that stops me from doing that is knowing I might spend my life in prison just for giving in to my fantasies. And I don't want that.

I stop considering a human being as such the very moment fantasies of murder enter my mind.