Our partner

On deciding to die

Paraphilias message board, open discussion, and online support group.
Forum rules
================================================

The Paraphilias Forum is now closed for new posts. It is against the Forum Rules to discuss paraphilias as the main topic of a post anywhere at PsychForums.

================================================

You are entering a forum that contains discussions of a sexual nature, some of which are explicit. The topics discussed may be offensive to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum.

This forum is intended to be a place where people can support each other in finding healing and healthy ways of functioning. Discussions that promote illegal activity will not be tolerated. Please note that this forum is moderated, and people who are found to be using this forum for inappropriate purposes will be banned. Psychforums works hard to ensure that this forum is law abiding. Moderators will report evidence of illegal activity to the police.

Re: On deciding to die

Postby Gemini_Incarnate » Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:26 am

Ahhhh, YRR. A dose of your wise yet assholian remarks was just what I needed to get me back on my feet after the last two days. XD.

Anyways, cumulusjames, I don't really know what to say to you, aside from this;

Yes, things may be bad now. And I'll be honest; I can't say for sure that suicide isn't your best option. However, life has this weird habit of changing drastically and without warning, for better worse. For all you know, you may be just a few, months, weeks, or even days from meeting the love of your life. Or, maybe not. But if you kill yourself, that "maybe" turns into a definete NO.

You can always kill yourself later, but once you're dead, you're dead, and there's no telling what you'll miss. Think about that.
Alters:


Levi [INFP]
*Meow* ^^
Aaron [ESTP]
"Live and let live, lest bigotry be the death of us all."
Gemini_Incarnate
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 386
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:18 am
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 5:55 am
Blog: View Blog (4)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: On deciding to die

Postby cumulusjames » Sun Jan 18, 2015 9:10 am

Its all confusing.
Bipolar, OCD, Self-hating Gay

Ex-rentboy


Evolution does not occur when people quietly go along with the status quo.
--Freedom in a time of mental slavery

Always treat a mind as closed until you discover otherwise
--CJ
cumulusjames
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1240
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:23 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby theclouds » Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:57 pm

*mod edit*

Last edited by Ada on Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Attempts to normalise paedophilia are against forum rules

Two points interesting to mention,

- The one is that the deleted link was an academic piece compiled by Titus Rivas M.A. (phil.), M.Sc.(psych.).

- The other is that pedophilia was normalized by the psychological community a year ago by it's exclusion from the current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, DSM5.
theclouds
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 173
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2015 2:21 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby Ada » Sun Jan 18, 2015 4:01 pm

Neither of those are relevant.

This forum has its rules already set. They aren't changing. By being a member here you agree to abide by them. If that's not comfortable for you. For whatever reason. There are other forums online which hold different views.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 10623
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 9:47 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (35)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby Gemini_Incarnate » Sun Jan 18, 2015 10:51 pm

...There are?
Alters:


Levi [INFP]
*Meow* ^^
Aaron [ESTP]
"Live and let live, lest bigotry be the death of us all."
Gemini_Incarnate
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 386
Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:18 am
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 5:55 am
Blog: View Blog (4)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby Endymion » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:18 pm

Ada wrote:
cumulusjames wrote:How did it 'damage' me.

<looks at the title of this thread>


I'd just like to point out that this is a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy. Actually, I don't want to, because I like Ada and feel that it's splitting hairs, but a guy is contemplating suicide here and I feel it's important to get our reasoning right.
Endymion
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 735
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:09 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby cumulusjames » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:22 pm

It's all confusing.

I like an equation. Plug a value into a function of x, get a correct value of y.
Bipolar, OCD, Self-hating Gay

Ex-rentboy


Evolution does not occur when people quietly go along with the status quo.
--Freedom in a time of mental slavery

Always treat a mind as closed until you discover otherwise
--CJ
cumulusjames
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1240
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2014 5:23 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby Endymion » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:46 pm

YouthRightsRadical wrote:Romeo and Juliet laws are one of the biggest bits of hypocrisy I've ever seen. Either someone is capable of providing informed consent or they are not. There is absolutely zero value in a law which tells early bloomers that they are REQUIRED to seek their sexual partners from among the population of people who are deemed by society to be incapable of providing meaningful consent.


This is spot on. If I (male, late 30s) cannot have sex with a 15-year-old girl because she is deemed incapable of giving informed consent, and yet, due to a close-in-age exemption, a 17-year-old boy is allowed to have sex with her, then the argument of lack of competence to give informed consent is rendered invalid and the protectionist motive called into question.

Aside from invalidating the argument of lack of competence to give informed consent, close-in-age exemptions discriminate in two ways. Firstly, from the perspective of the minor, they discriminate against minors who might prefer an older partner. The 15-year-old girl who finds herself not attracted to teenage boys but rather to men will discover that expressing herself sexually with a chosen partner is an option forbidden to her and her partner, whilst her friends who prefer boys their age or slightly older will be permitted to express themselves sexually with their partners. Secondly, if the grounds for a close-in-age exemption are based on a (cultural, unsubstantiated) assumption that an older male’s motive for wishing to express himself sexually with a young adolescent girl could only ever be predatory, then this again constitutes unfair discrimination. For example, are we to assume that a 17-year-old male’s motives for sleeping with a 15-year-old female are unequivocally more chaste or noble, or might we instead reasonably assume that a male in his late 30s could be more stable, more balanced, less governed by his penis?

The whole thing is a sham. And besides, as Waites shows in The Age of Consent, informed consent is a very recent addition to sexual offence laws. What we call the age of consent may have been around for quite some time, but it has only been termed as such in recent decades. The motives prior to about the 1950s were to protect female virginity (a prized commodity) and to prevent what were deemed to be unholy acts. Even as late as the 1970s judges were requiring women to have put up a serious fight for a rape charge to stand.

The bottom line is that if we want to preserve this notion of a statutory minimum age for sexual activity being predicated on a presumed ability or inability to give informed consent, we have to mean what we say. Close-in-age exemptions make a mockery of the idea.
Endymion
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 735
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:09 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby TheHumanBeing » Fri Jan 23, 2015 8:12 am

cumulusjames wrote:It's all confusing.

I like an equation. Plug a value into a function of x, get a correct value of y.


Life's not an equation. Life is absurd and random and funny and beautiful and odd and sad and awesome and strange. There's nothing simple about it aside from the fact that it is. You could live a thousand years and still not have it figured out. You could waste your life trying to figure it out. But we know that it is - that's the only thing we know - and if you take that away you'll only be cheating yourself.

You say there's no one who loves you. You say there's no one you love. You say people think you're a monster. So what? What does any of that have to do with who YOU are? We're not defined by people's perceptions of us, no one really perceives anyone completely accurately. We on this board know that better than anyone.

It doesn't matter if you have a plan. It doesn't matter if you even have a purpose. You ARE, you EXIST. You have the ability to live, to breathe. You can decide. You can decide to decide. You can decide to live.

Or you can decide not to live. But then you won't be able to decide anything else ever again. You won't get to find a purpose. You won't get to discover yourself again, and again, and again, and again. You may never find enlightenment, but wouldn't you want to know for sure?

If you really have nothing left to live for, then what do you have to lose?
"I am not an animal! I am a human being!" - John Merrick
TheHumanBeing
Consumer 3
Consumer 3
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:43 am
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: On deciding to die

Postby Maligan12 » Mon Dec 07, 2015 10:12 pm

Are you still alive, Cummulus?

I'm hoping so.
Let's judge each other on our actions.
Maligan12
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 717
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 5:06 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 11:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

PreviousNext

Return to Paraphilias Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 32 guests