just found this out

ElKahn wrote:ctithe, rainbowstar, YouthRightsRadical. Once again keep in mind that promoting such dangerous ideas is detrimental to the image and purpose of this forum. By spreading your harmful messages about adult-child sexual relations you're doing anyone no favor. This is not a place to promote your personal agendas (looks like you're trying to do this), this is a place for mutual support and understanding. It seems like whenever someone comes here for support you don't miss a chance to spread the same message and political agenda over and over again, especially you, YouthRightsRadical.

Also, YouthRightsRadical, you should not interfere with a moderator's job or argue against their decisions on a public forum. Mods are here for a reason and they have the forums' best interest at heart. Be humble and respectful, please, as they do their best to make this place as safe as possible.

Sorry to intercede, but I've read this whole thread and yours and the mod's post completely threw me off. At no point I felt the message the aforementioned users were trying to portrait was "pedophilia is normal", rather "society's share of responsability when a victim of abuse is psychologically damaged is bigger than most people think".

Also, I don't think that disagreeing politely is "interfering" with anything, we are all human here, it should be okay to have a healthy dialogue with anyone.

I'm posting this in a really humble way, I hope this isn't considered disrespectful to anyone.

I didn't argue against the moderation. As I understood it, the moderation was about what was over the line or not.

I argued against the "contorted" garnish that was tacked on. That wasn't moderation. That was making a judgement on the composition of the post and the quality of the structure.

HighViRuX wrote:Sorry to intercede, but I've read this whole thread and yours and the mod's post completely threw me off. At no point I felt the message the aforementioned users were trying to portrait was "pedophilia is normal"

I'd already edited out the passages that I felt were clearly over the line.

...and this debate...

"society's share of responsability when a victim of abuse is psychologically damaged is bigger than most people think".

...is outside the proper scope of this forum and site. I don't mind people expressing an opinion on the matter, but we're not willing to host a lengthy debate about it. Further, our official policy on the issue is not one of neutrality, we believe that adult-child sexual relations are inherently harmful to the child and don't appreciate arguments that have the effect of minimizing, obscuring or otherwise diluting this message.

HighViRuX wrote:Sorry to intercede, but I've read this whole thread and yours and the mod's post completely threw me off. At no point I felt the message the aforementioned users were trying to portrait was "pedophilia is normal", rather "society's share of responsability when a victim of abuse is psychologically damaged is bigger than most people think".

Also, I don't think that disagreeing politely is "interfering" with anything, we are all human here, it should be okay to have a healthy dialogue with anyone.

I'm posting this in a really humble way, I hope this isn't considered disrespectful to anyone.

I know perfectly what the message is here, and it clearly is against the purpose of the forum. Also, keep in mind that there are people here who were victims of child abuse, and such message could trigger them. We do not want anyone to get triggered here on the forum, especially when it comes to abuse, as this is meant to be a place for support.
Blaming society's views on abuse is not a healthy approach to this topic, and it invalidates the victim's feelings and experience, transferring the blame from the abuser to society. This is one of the reasons why these ideas are not accepted here.
Another reason is that the message those users constantly spread here could trigger some people who are coming here for support because of their urges, or even encourage them to commit harmful actions.

i knew that when i posted this info here is would most likely be misconstrued but is has done some good even though people people will see this, and wrongfully blame society for the harm it is still better than the alternative type of notions that were here before.

while i dont think it was ever said bluntly, i was getting notion that non forceful/physically abusive
adult-child relationships were not harmful at all, now i know that that is completely wrong.

nobody is really at fault for this, because we are such a hated group of people and everything that we do is scrutinized by an extremely idiotic and hysteria driven society everything we do could be seen as harmful to a child. hell alot of people would just rather kill every pedophile weather your an offender, non offender or just pocd, just to "be safe".

this situation makes it extremely difficult to to find the truth that is hiding in all of the lies and hysteria, so it's understandable for people to have the wrong information because society had largely ignored this issue in it's entirety, leaving us to come up with our own theory's about whats actually going on.

Hmmmm. There are a couple of things that Levi and I had to say, but there's not much point now that the hysteria has died down and we'd just be refueling the fire.

Sorry your thread was ruined siphon.

siphon wrote:while i dont think it was ever said bluntly, i was getting notion that non forceful/physically abusive
adult-child relationships were not harmful at all, now i know that that is completely wrong.

I'm sorry to hear you were getting that false impression. I don't think there's anyone here who's seriously claiming that the mere lack of physical force is sufficient to eliminate the harm molested children suffer. Even eliminating the coercive elements aside from physical force don't eliminate the harm. And whether we agree on why that is the case, it very clearly is the case.

Chessplayer wrote:Hmmmm. There are a couple of things that Levi and I had to say, but there's not much point now that the hysteria has died down and we'd just be refueling the fire.

Sorry your thread was ruined siphon.

dont worry about the thread i knew it would go off the rails sooner or later

open discussion is important though it's how we expand our understanding of everything, as long as we dont close our minds and turn this into a debate we should all be able to take things away from all of this.

what did you and Levi want to say?

HighViRuX wrote:At no point I felt the message the aforementioned users were trying to portrait was "pedophilia is normal", rather "society's share of responsability when a victim of abuse is psychologically damaged is bigger than most people think".

This is a fairly accurate interpretation of the spirit of my post, but I’d also like to highlight my use of the word ‘if’ when I said that…

ctithe wrote:If the harm in non-violent, non-coercive, willing, enjoyed encounters comes from sociocultural pressure further down the line […]

ElKahn wrote:By spreading your harmful messages about adult-child sexual relations you're doing anyone no favor.

I think this is not aimed at me, as I haven’t said anything to suggest adult-child sexual relations should be encouraged. But I’d like to respond anyway by saying that I personally can’t think of a more salubrious message conducive to healing and the prevention of harm than one advocating accurate identification of sources of harm. By contrast, the most deleterious message will be one that advocates an uncritical stance on the question of sources of harm.

siphon wrote:

Chessplayer wrote:Hmmmm. There are a couple of things that Levi and I had to say, but there's not much point now that the hysteria has died down and we'd just be refueling the fire.

Sorry your thread was ruined siphon.

dont worry about the thread i knew it would go off the rails sooner or later

open discussion is important though it's how we expand our understanding of everything, as long as we dont close our minds and turn this into a debate we should all be able to take things away from all of this.

what did you and Levi want to say?

Well, Levi said his part in another thread: paraphilias/topic147548.html

As for me, I was just going to say that I agree with the moderator's statement (even if I disagree with the rules), then proceed to a ask a rhetorical question that probably would have gotten me in trouble. (Not that either of us should have much of a reason to care what happens to our account since we're leaving, but still.) Soo yeah.