TheScaredOne wrote:So, I am a thirty year old guy - normal I guess. However, since I have been 21, I have had a *VERY* strong desire to be in a black widow type of affair. Random casual sex with a woman who would eventually end my life after several outings at the moment of climax. There is something poetic about that - my semen which gives life flooding her upon my death.
This has been a nine year obsession. I have gone to necrophilia forums, paraphilia forums, and a whole slew of other sites looking for some likeminded individuals. Sadly, none have come up. I am not entirely sure why I am here... maybe for someone to tell me to get my life in order and think straight? Maybe for someone to tell me that I am not crazy and the heart wants what it wants? Maybe for some woman who has the same desire as me to reach out to me?
I dunno, but I feel like a lot of people are able to post here without judgment, so I am taking advantage.
You are right, there is and will be no judgment here so welcome
Im a fellow necrophilliac lover which I love and fantasize about all roles in this particular paraphile. You hit the nail on the head there and it is true that we simply do not choose to like and enjoy what we do, its just something that is and will always be a part of us as people. Some may not understand and thats fine but it does leave us with very few places to go where we can find acceptance.
You don't need to get your life in order, you are doing nothing wrong. I often has desires to be intimately taken out of this world by a stranger or someone I know and vice versa. This for me runs in and out of my obsession and attraction to death in general and blood, I don't know why but to me it is all very intimate which is such a turn on.
I hope you do find the person you need
At least here you know you can as open as you feel the need to be
Tulula.