Incest

Hey guys, i think this would be the best place to put this so here go's.....

im 21, and in my life time I've probably masterbated to fantasies involving my sister maybe 10 times, thats not exact, more or less but its not something i do regularly or that i necessarily like if that makes any sense?

it all started when i was a young teen(she is 3 years younger than me), me and her did some things, not overtly sexual but we would play games and such and i would get "excited"(this started when we were kids and ended when i was 13-14, maybe younger) it wasn't abusive and ended when i realized just how wrong it was. anyways after it ended sometimes she would enter my "fantasies" as i masterbated, and i freaked out at first and told my psych and he said that it was "normal" for kids my age to fantasize about all sorts of things. anyways after that they subsided.... but over the years she has crept in from time to time, i don't know why..... me and her have a healthy brother sister relationship, we talk about important stuff, have fun at family gatherings, keep in touch on a daily basis(she is at college) there isn't anything weird between us. and these "fantasies" only account for less than .01% of my sexual fantasies and i would rather not have them. for awhile i guess i just blew them off as weird quirks but lately I've just been so confused with everything and i feel ashamed and concerned that i may be sick in the head.

for the record i would never try to engage in any form of incest with my sister, i don't want the reality of it, and i respect our relationship as is, i also respect her and my family. mind you i have OCD and more specifically my obsessions lately have been revolving around pedophilia, i know i am not a pedophile, i have checked my self more than enough times but its still a big "what if" i am also concerned that because my first sort of sexual experiences were with my sister that that means something, considering we were young and she is my sister?

when these "fantasies" are present, they are not about her as a child or anything.

P.S. the scariest thing is, is that these fantasies aren't persistent, i don't have a yearning to sleep with my sister nor do i wish it would happen, so as much as i would like to say i will never do this again i almost don't trust myself, i never want to have another fantasy involving my sister, they make me uncomfortable and disgusted with myself, its not hard not to do it, its just i feel like i always have to watch my self now

to sum it all up, I'm just really confused and need some insight as to why this has happened through out my life

Your psychiatrist was right. This is fairly normal. We'll all have a weird passing fantasy from time to time, and it doesn't really mean much of anything.

You've said this isn't a persistent thing for you. That doesn't mean it's going to sneak up on you and posess you like some sort of demon. That just means it isn't something that you find attractive enough to fantasize about more often.

You've mentioned that you're dealing with intrusive thoughts leading you to "test" yourself for pedophilia. It looks to me like it's the same sort of fear you're dealing with when you question whether or not you're really attracted to your sister.

You have nothing to be ashamed about.

You have nothing to be ashamed about.

Hey guys, I'm back, same problems.... Had a confusing dream last night pertaining to both worries, my sister and children.... In this dream I wasn't having sex with either, there was a room full of " woman" and as I got closer to this room I became aroused but as i entered the room these woman turned to children and began taunting me in what I beilieve to be a sexual way only with words, they weren't being cute but were harrasing me I then awoke to find my self erect...... Fast forward in the dream I see my sister in pants and a bra, she is just walking away and I'm finding my self aroused by this, I then get flashes of people having sex but It wasn't my sister physically but mind is saying it was, I then awake to find my self erect.... Am I blowing this out of the water or should I be concerned? Mind you I obsess about these things constantly so that might have something to do with them entering my dreams.

Any input is nic

strix123 wrote:Hey guys, I'm back, same problems.... Had a confusing dream last night pertaining to both worries, my sister and children.... In this dream I wasn't having sex with either, there was a room full of " woman" and as I got closer to this room I became aroused but as i entered the room these woman turned to children and began taunting me in what I beilieve to be a sexual way only with words, they weren't being cute but were harrasing me I then awoke to find my self erect...... Fast forward in the dream I see my sister in pants and a bra, she is just walking away and I'm finding my self aroused by this, I then get flashes of people having sex but It wasn't my sister physically but mind is saying it was, I then awake to find my self erect.... Am I blowing this out of the water or should I be concerned? Mind you I obsess about these things constantly so that might have something to do with them entering my dreams.

Any input is nic

Hello strix! I'm sorry that you've been affected by this as of late. First off, I'm not sure how valuable my input is, but I noticed that this thread was looking a bit too abandoned, and I figured you might want a reply.

The idea of the subconscious presenting us with our sexualities through dreams isn't exactly a new idea. Analysing your dreams can be a useful way to get a new insight into yourself – however, they shouldn't be 100% relied on, especially when the dreamer in question is obsessive.

Dreams work in such a way that they 'collect and store' your memories/thoughts by passing them through - to be ever so scientific - an imaginary sleep universey thing. When someone spends their day worrying about a certain subject, it's highly likely that said subject will reappear when they are sleeping. When the worry is as intrusive as those found in obsessions, it's only likely that the dreams following will be even more affected by the subject of distress. It's the same reason that horror films can cause nightmares.

In your particular case: if your mind gets invaded by sexualised thoughts (whether genuine or superficial) about your sister and/or children, then your dreams may also be affected too.

As someone with an obsessive personality, I mostly speak for myself when I say that a good solution for these dreams is to find a distraction shortly before going to sleep: reading a book is my personal choice. If that doesn't help, or you fancy an alternative, then I'd suggest talking to a professional – after all, I'm not exactly an expert.

Finally, given the nature of such obsessions, I don't want to leave any possible coincidences unspoken for: I don't have an explanation for the erections, other than a memory from a long-forgotten sex ed session in which I was informed that erections can occur seemingly randomly at times. If someone more educated than I could provide some insight into that, I'd be very grateful.

So... No, you haven't got any reason for concern, apart from the fact that you're clearly not at peace with yourself. That's your only real worry at the moment. Your thoughts, whatever they may stem from, will hurt nobody but you. Please don't feel concerned by them in terms of your identity – simply the fact that they cause you anxiety is a clear-cut sign that you aren't malevolent.

I hope this was sufficient (despite not being concise, haha!)

p.s. This was my first post! Thank you strix, for convincing me to actually speak up here.