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paedophilia on this forum

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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby fiftysix » Tue May 07, 2013 4:30 am

Now what I don't comprehend is how this thread wasn't your decision?


I didn't say this thread wasn't my decision. I said that where it is wasn't my decision. I posted this thread in the members corner forum. The moderator moved it here because she said it might be triggering. I find that hard to accept but there you go. Its her decision, not mine.

I keep an open to paedophilia as i do to most subjects. I saw a very good film starring kevin bacon. You have probably all seen it. Don't remember the title.

I have also listened to a radio program including a woman who ran a program for paedophiles. She had a lot of very interesting things to say. One of which was how the less dangerous paedophiles would discriminate or castigate the more serious pedophiles. How they were offended to be considered in the same group. This is all part of the denial that goes on.

Clearly some individuals do hate their natural proclivity and fear it. Some must surely go to great lengths to avoid offending. But this cosy little club you've got going here doesn't seem to fall into either of those categories.

The thing is once you've dealt with your self-hatred (for those who had that problem) and all the other factors that disturb your life, i think you should let go and actually suppress your tendency. Talking about it just keeps it alive and in a group like this, where you no doubt share lots of information privately amongst yourself, well its just a worry. And i see it as something of a threat to children.

So here you go - this is what you asked for. Some dialogue. as to the musician who thinks i can't put forward an argument. I think i demonstrated i can deal with your rationalisations right at the outset in response to simontheo. But i have no interest in a tennis match.

Its not what you feel that disgusts and disturbs me. You can't help what you feel. It was you do (continue perving on children) and what you say you think is acceptable that is the problem.
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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby Borgesius » Tue May 07, 2013 5:22 am

fiftysix wrote:I keep an open to paedophilia as i do to most subjects. I saw a very good film starring kevin bacon. You have probably all seen it. Don't remember the title.


The Woodsman. You're probably right about most of us having seen it. As they go, not bad, but doesn't offer much in the way of hope or solutions. Ol' Kev is just as much of a ###$ sadsack at the end as he was to start with if I'm remembering correctly.

fiftysix wrote:I have also listened to a radio program including a woman who ran a program for paedophiles. She had a lot of very interesting things to say. One of which was how the less dangerous paedophiles would discriminate or castigate the more serious pedophiles. How they were offended to be considered in the same group. This is all part of the denial that goes on.


it's probably antipathy between violent and non-violent offenders. non-violent offenders didn't intend to hurt anyone and violent offenders didn't give a damn. whether or not you personally differentiate between them, that's a consequential point of difference.

fiftysix wrote:Clearly some individuals do hate their natural proclivity and fear it. Some must surely go to great lengths to avoid offending. But this cosy little club you've got going here doesn't seem to fall into either of those categories.


Some... how many? how many pedophiles do you think there are? is there only one kind? do you think the categories of pedophile and non-pedophile are discrete, or is there a spectrum?

where should pedophiles go for information? what if they're 15? what if none of their therapists knows anything about pedophilia? what if science doesn't have anything significant to tell us about pedophilia? what if a cure is impossible? what if we can't prevent pedophiles from being born?

where would you have us go?

fiftysix wrote:The thing is once you've dealt with your self-hatred (for those who had that problem) and all the other factors that disturb your life, i think you should let go and actually suppress your tendency.


I'm confused, do you want me to hate myself or not? your quote up above indicates you prefer pedophiles when they hate and fear themselves. your answer won't affect me personally - i'll go on hating myself either way, much to your... dismay? delight? little of both?

fiftysix wrote:Talking about it just keeps it alive


Do you know how to kill it? Can you tell me? I've tried it both ways, talking and not talking. As far as I can tell, it isn't talking that keeps it alive. It dies when I do. I have read no credible accounts to the contrary.

If you want me to not be a pedophile, you'll need me not to exist at all.
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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby Boogeyman » Tue May 07, 2013 5:41 am

fiftysix wrote:I didn't say this thread wasn't my decision. I said that where it is wasn't my decision. I posted this thread in the members corner forum. The moderator moved it here because she said it might be triggering. I find that hard to accept but there you go. Its her decision, not mine.

I keep an open to paedophilia as i do to most subjects. I saw a very good film starring kevin bacon. You have probably all seen it. Don't remember the title.

I have also listened to a radio program including a woman who ran a program for paedophiles. She had a lot of very interesting things to say. One of which was how the less dangerous paedophiles would discriminate or castigate the more serious pedophiles. How they were offended to be considered in the same group. This is all part of the denial that goes on.


Part of the denial that goes on. Well, have you considered maybe that people don't want to be grouped up with the offenders and abusers that people automatically associate our disorder with? Perhaps that's disrespectful and insulting to a lot of people and that you're incredibly close-minded and bias for lumping people together like that? I wouldn't want to be black and compared to a rapist, after all.

fiftysix wrote: Clearly some individuals do hate their natural proclivity and fear it. Some must surely go to great lengths to avoid offending. But this cosy little club you've got going here doesn't seem to fall into either of those categories.


And what exactly does that mean, cozy little club? I don't think any active members here support what you're insinuating. Just because offenders are here doesn't mean we support their actions past.

fiftysix wrote: The thing is once you've dealt with your self-hatred (for those who had that problem) and all the other factors that disturb your life, i think you should let go and actually suppress your tendency. Talking about it just keeps it alive and in a group like this, where you no doubt share lots of information privately amongst yourself, well its just a worry. And i see it as something of a threat to children.


Because we all have so little self-control. Because we so obviously network our fantasies widely amongst ourselves. Maybe you shouldn't assume so widely what you don't understand. "Suppress it." I've tried that, and as much as you'll tell me to meditate or study a freaking Playboy I'm still a pedophile. I can't switch this off, I didn't choose this, I don't want this. And you know what? I'm not guilting myself into suppressing my own emotions just to ease your soul. I've got enough conviction to live safely, thank you.

fiftysix wrote: So here you go - this is what you asked for. Some dialogue. as to the musician who thinks i can't put forward an argument. I think i demonstrated i can deal with your rationalisations right at the outset in response to simontheo. But i have no interest in a tennis match.


Still not very good dialogue. You can't, these aren't rationalizations, at least I assume that's what you meant. You think I don't understand what goes on in my head is a no-no? But there, it's all up in my head. Do you think sanity is hinged on realizing an otherwise healthy thought is disturbing and scary to others? I've been treated worse by people like you, by people I tried to get help with. People like you make therapy a bear trap waiting on my poor ankle to drop. Believe it or not, you're making a difficult situation more painful.

fiftysix wrote:Its not what you feel that disgusts and disturbs me. You can't help what you feel. It was you do (continue perving on children) and what you say you think is acceptable that is the problem.


It's real cute to say it isn't our fault and then backhand us with our own dilemma. You're sassy. It isn't bad to have sexual thoughts towards kids, but accepting those thoughts as routine brain activity is bad? Being gay isn't a problem if you pray the gay away, then you're acceptable to society.

Don't even feed me the consentuality line, we've already covered that.
Lollipop, lollipop...
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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby Partridge » Tue May 07, 2013 7:51 am

fiftysix wrote:I posted this thread in the members corner forum. The moderator moved it here because she said it might be triggering. I find that hard to accept but there you go. Its her decision, not mine.


This is true.

fiftysix wrote:I keep an open to paedophilia as i do to most subjects.


This is not true, or at least not evident.

fiftysix wrote:I have also listened to a radio program including a woman who ran a program for paedophiles. She had a lot of very interesting things to say. One of which was how the less dangerous paedophiles would discriminate or castigate the more serious pedophiles. How they were offended to be considered in the same group. This is all part of the denial that goes on.


What denial would this be exactly? What's being denied and by whom? I'm in my late 30s, I've never touched a child inappropriately and I've never viewed illegal material (neither online nor offline). My track record is one of someone who has no problems whatsoever with impulse control. I have even been prepositioned by a number of children over the years and turned them down on the grounds of their age. I feel as much antipathy towards sex offenders as any non-paedophile and I don't view CP because it would sicken me. In short, I'm a decent human being who happens to be attracted to little girls. My track record says an awful lot more than your blinkered speculation about some hazy, one-size-fits-all 'denial'.

fiftysix wrote:this cosy little club you've got going here [...] and in a group like this, where you no doubt share lots of information privately amongst yourself, well its just a worry. And i see it as something of a threat to children.


I'm going to copy and paste in some text from a PM I wrote to a fellow paedophile yesterday or the day before (at any rate prior to your statement about 'this cosy little club'):

It’s good to hear you’re confident you will never abuse. Personally I’ve always found it very easy indeed not to act on the attraction, quite simply because I care about other people’s feelings.

I am not easily offended, so if you feel the need to express yourself on the subject of thoughts or feelings, then you have my permission to do so. I won’t be offended, though I must make clear (for a variety of reasons) that I wouldn’t be ‘getting off’ to whatever you say. I’d be a willing ear for the sake of support. I find it very useful to be able to occasionally say openly to friends and even my girlfriend that I find a particular girl very attractive, but at the other extreme of the spectrum I’ve read comments under YouTube videos that say things about brutal rape and I have to say I feel like joining in with the lynch mobs.


Verbatim. ^This is not indicative of some 'cosy little club'. This is a message of support on a support forum, and moreover one in which I am making clear the boundaries of that support. Having talked to many people via PM here, I can assure you that the above is typical of the type of thing we discuss via PM.

The lady or gentleman to whom I sent the above message is someone I would consider very, very low risk, but he/she still appreciates the possibility of some moral support.
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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby Lyta » Tue May 07, 2013 1:14 pm

fiftysix wrote:One of which was how the less dangerous paedophiles would discriminate or castigate the more serious pedophiles. How they were offended to be considered in the same group. This is all part of the denial that goes on.
...
Its not what you feel that disgusts and disturbs me. You can't help what you feel. It was you do (continue perving on children) and what you say you think is acceptable that is the problem.


Yo, dude!

Your utter and complete idiocy in comparing offenders to non-offenders, offends me. Deeply.

Quite frankly, I think your brain is disgusting.
And I don't think it is acceptable for you to continue using it to pervert rational thought.
You should be ashamed of your delirious attempts at thinking, which in my mind is tantamount to rape of logic.
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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby Simontheo » Tue May 07, 2013 2:02 pm

fiftysix wrote:
Now what I don't comprehend is how this thread wasn't your decision?


I didn't say this thread wasn't my decision. I said that where it is wasn't my decision. I posted this thread in the members corner forum. The moderator moved it here because she said it might be triggering. I find that hard to accept but there you go. Its her decision, not mine.


Oh I understand, sorry for misunderstanding. You should speak with the mod who moved this thread if you find it should be in the members corner. I believe it was moved because a lot of things that are being said here can offend people, make them angry. But you should still speak with the mod to see if she will move the thread.

And I'll let you in a little secret: I'm a pedophile and I'm attracted to boys, and it sickens me. The only reason I'm still alive today is because I made a promise to my cousin's (who happens to be a boy) mother. She said: "Promise you won't kill yourself. It's not the solution, it's a way out."
I'm alone by choice. It's just not my choice.

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Kenichi (5 year old), Venus (6 yo boy/robot), Ciel (18 yo man), Chi (20 something woman), Kengi & Gigi (Twins, 13 yo boys), Budo & Max (Twins, 10 yo). Pepper (Host, 19 yo), Lissa (3,000 year old angel), Keanu (3 yo boy), Kim (8 yo girl).
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Re: paedophilia on this forum

Postby Musicman » Fri May 10, 2013 2:30 am

fiftysix wrote:I have also listened to a radio program including a woman who ran a program for paedophiles. She had a lot of very interesting things to say. One of which was how the less dangerous paedophiles would discriminate or castigate the more serious pedophiles. How they were offended to be considered in the same group. This is all part of the denial that goes on.


I'm sorry. Are you using the word "pedophile" to describe people with an attraction to children or someone who has made an offense against a child? Frankly, I've never committed a crime against a child and the standardized test for individuals with deviant attractions (who may or may not have offended) that my therapist had me take confirmed what the both of us expected. I'm of a very minimal risk to children. Yeah, it would definitely offend me to be classified among those who've hurt children. It can hardly be called denial. The individual has either committed a crime against another human or he hasn't. In my case, I haven't. With that reasoning, I should not be classified in the same group as those who have acted on their attractions.

fiftysix wrote:Clearly some individuals do hate their natural proclivity and fear it. Some must surely go to great lengths to avoid offending. But this cosy little club you've got going here doesn't seem to fall into either of those categories.


So, let me get this straight. To you, the only decent pedophiles are those who hate themselves and don't associate with anyone who has similar attractions. I have some news for you: I'm a good person and I don't hate myself. I used to hate myself because of people like you, and it took a fair amount of therapy to fix that, but I'm no longer like that. If anything, I'm far more stable than I was. Because I'm more stable, I'm far less likely to do something stupid.

For what it's worth, I do hate my attractions, and if a pill were created that could magically take them away, I'd purchase it in a heartbeat. However, my attractions don't define who I am as a person, and I refuse to hate myself simply because I hate my attractions. I've accepted that I have to live with them, and I've accepted myself as a pedophile. That doesn't mean I embrace the fact that I like little children a bit too much.

fiftysix wrote:The thing is once you've dealt with your self-hatred (for those who had that problem) and all the other factors that disturb your life, i think you should let go and actually suppress your tendency. Talking about it just keeps it alive and in a group like this, where you no doubt share lots of information privately amongst yourself, well its just a worry. And i see it as something of a threat to children.


Interesting. My therapist has a very different view than you. He says that finding others like myself online has been one of the best things I've done for myself. The ability to talk with others like me has helped me to understand that I'm not alone. These individuals have helped me learn to deal with my attraction in a safe way so that children aren't harmed. They've helped me learn that my attractions don't make me an evil person. They've been there for me when no one else was. They've helped me deal with other completely unrelated issues like anxiety, relationships, insecurity about my weight, insecurity about having been bullied when I was a child, etc. The fact that they're pedophiles doesn't mean that associating with them makes me more likely to act out. Using your logic, recovering alcoholics shouldn't attend Alcoholics Anonymous. A fat person trying to lose weight shouldn't be near another person with the same problem. Clumping together in groups like that means the person is more likely to make the wrong choice. After all, that's what they encourage others to do, right?

Of course, you don't actually think the idea of recovering alcoholics meeting is a bad choice. You probably realize that those who need to lose weight can actually help motivate each other to keep to their diet and exercise regimens. What you don't seem to understand is that pedophiles can have the same effect on each other. You're under the impression that pedophiles, by default, have their moral compasses broken.

fiftysix wrote:So here you go - this is what you asked for. Some dialogue. as to the musician who thinks i can't put forward an argument. I think i demonstrated i can deal with your rationalisations right at the outset in response to simontheo. But i have no interest in a tennis match.


I think I've done a fair job of countering your baseless arguments. As for my "rationalisations" [sic], well, I think rationalizing is a good thing. It involves using rationality. Rationality is truth. The only time it's bad to "rationalize" is when that "rationalization" is done by an individual in denial. I'm not in denial that pedophilia can be harmful. It certainly can be. I'm not in denial that I'm not a bad person. As far as I'm concerned, a person is defined by his or her actions. I've never done anything to seriously hurt anyone; especially not a child. The only person here who seems to be in denial is you. You're the only one here choosing to use preconceived notions over rationality.

I still await a valid argument. Perhaps, you should show me actual research. You know, maybe some data and statistics? How about some studies? It sure doesn't help your case when you base your knowledge of pedophilia on a Hollywood movie starring Kevin Bacon.
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