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Detach with love, did I do the right thing? (Long post)

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Detach with love, did I do the right thing? (Long post)

Postby whd12345678 » Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:16 am

I think my ex has PPD. She has not been diagnosed so don't know if she really has PPD or not but she show most of the signs.
I have been most supportive person in her life, sacrificing my own happiness just to please/not piss her off. She became ill due to toxic mold exposure and found a tumor in her breast, since hasn't been able to work. Thus, she has had to rely on other for help. I (even though we are not together) consider her my best friend and still love her. I have taken on the role of care taker, paying all her bills, even the storage unit that she hasn't seen in almost 15 years. I do it because it means something to her. I dare not say anything negative to her for fear of her lashing out at me.

The problem is that she distrust everyone and eventually pushes them away. She is constantly trying to get into legal battles with those that are "harming her", ie: the bank that foreclosed on her house and the police that evicted her. She believes the police are after her and that they send helicopters just to find her. She believes her phone and email has been hacked, she puts stickers over the camera on her phone so the government won't spy on her. Her drs don't care about her and she believes she has stage 4 breast cancer even though all the test the drs have done don't show that. Anytime her drs suggest she try a new medication or test she gives an excuse of why she doesn't want to do that. If friends give her advice she shrugs it off or out right ignores it. All the while constantly complaining that nobody is helping her or cares about her. Anyone that knows us both, knows that I bend over backwards trying to help her. We do get into arguments more and more because I don't subscribe to all of her paranoid views about police ect... Most of the time I just bite my tongue and blindly agree with her, ultimately pushing away friends of my own.
She blames everyone for all the problems she has, the drs, police, friends (for abandoning her), and even me (I somehow was a cause of her losing her house). I have always told myself that its not about me, thus that has allowed me to not take it personal, though sometimes it's very hard not to. She does often accuse me of not caring about her and says that I don't do anything to help her.
Since she was evicted she has stayed with friends, all of them essentially ask her to leave because she was being so difficult and saying everyone was "abusing her". I had her move in with me, giving her the bedroom while I slept on the couch. She has been stating for quite some time that she is trying to get to "care", at a place that will help with her medical issues. Though she always has an excuse of why she can't quite get there, ie:the mechanic stole parts from her vehicle, now she can't drive it, not that she could even drive it because of her medical issues anyway. She is never wrong about anything and knows all the laws and threatens to sue anyone who she thinks is gonna harm her. She gets very angy over anything negatively said about her, thus I basically keep my mouth shut.
All of this negativity and paranoia has been taking a toll on me mentally, physically, and even financially (I live paycheck to paycheck). Even though thats the case I still care about her so much that I was willing to continue all the support I could to help her. That all changed a few days ago. She got a call about a missed drs appointment that she really wanted/needed to go to. I herard her being upset and asked what was the matter. Immediately, she started yelling at me saying I don't care about her and do nothing for her. I said that she isn't really mad at me and just taking her anger out on me. That angered her more where she attacked me, punching, kicking, and even bit me.
Not knowing what to do I said I was going to call the police because I was afraid what she might do. This of course confirmed her paranoia that I don't care about her and angered her even more. I didn't end up cang the police but I told her she needed to leave because I couldn't stand for being attacked.
I realize this post is long but my question is did I do the right thing by adking her to leave? I have no idea where she will end up, maybe the streets. I care and love her but just can't take that kind of unstabililty at the expense of my own sanity happiness.
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Re: Detach with love, did I do the right thing? (Long post)

Postby imissmyson » Thu Mar 02, 2017 1:43 am

I realize this is an old post. I'm sad there were no comments. I REALLY wanted to hear what would be said on this.
I am hoping everything turned out OK...
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Re: Detach with love, did I do the right thing? (Long post)

Postby Trisa » Mon Jul 03, 2017 4:54 am

Oh my gosh the last post is detrimental to me because I don't want to end up like that. Wonder what is latest development since it's been a while from this post
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